its been ever so long
so much to update about.... i dont know where to begin.....
ive been getting over the ex, not as well as id like to be.... but yea. i dunno, the only thing that is still getting to me is the "what did i do wrong?" factor..... even if i didnt actually do anythign wrong.... i came up with that theory of "i was just the filler until his ex could come back into his life" which im probably right. but it still haunts me, simple things can trigger a small emotional surge of "why, what did i do wrong?" nothing to put me on my ass or anything, but i hate having those thoughts, i really wish i could get over it..... its a slow process
new love life
his name is chris , hes 22. also a marine, . hes aslo a phillipino, lol. hes an amazing guy, hes probably treated me the best out of any bf ive ever had. im staying optimistic about this one, even though since the breakup with the last serious bf, ive learned to protect my heart. we met in thailand in like april/may last year. and was just keepin in touch online. we started dating when we went to the phillippines in oct.
hes not perfect, he has some insecurities, but we are working through that. i can see us working out.
so, now about my leave....
i finally got that shit approved. and ive been having a lot of fun, hangin out with the birdie, and i rented a car. ive gotten to eat at alot of my fav resturants and fast food places. im sure ive gained some weight, but i dont care. ive gone to seville, danced a lil bit, heard an amazing phillipino band play, and tasted some very good apple martinis. raven and her family are awesome , theyve put up with me crashing at their house this whole time. i cant rly complain too much...
well..... except for my actual family. i waited like 3 or 4 days before i even showed my face there... my brother was in jail until the new years. everythign was ok, with the fam when i went there before the bro was out. but then the bro got ot and when i saw him, it was ok at first, but then he just kept talking.....and talking..... and talking. and what was he talking about? MONEY, god damned mother fucking MONEY. just like dropping huge hitns of wanting a lil bit so he could lad on his feet again, which i feel is total bullshit. he prettymuch blatantly said that he was just gonna use me for my car and that he also told robin (dads gf) that he was gonna tlak me into buyin him all kinds of shit, and get the cable turned back on and shit.
what an ungrateful mother fucker, i dropped about 3grand to come out here, i even told him that i spent alot of money to come out here, and he thinks that he can get some out of me. shit like that just makes me not want to go over there, at all, ever again... sounds harsh, but there is like nothing there that i rly need anymore. maybe a few things here and there but, it can wait... i have come up with the decision that i am going to excommunicate myself from them...... after this visit, i doubt i am gonna come back
but other than that, im enjoing my stay
ive been getting over the ex, not as well as id like to be.... but yea. i dunno, the only thing that is still getting to me is the "what did i do wrong?" factor..... even if i didnt actually do anythign wrong.... i came up with that theory of "i was just the filler until his ex could come back into his life" which im probably right. but it still haunts me, simple things can trigger a small emotional surge of "why, what did i do wrong?" nothing to put me on my ass or anything, but i hate having those thoughts, i really wish i could get over it..... its a slow process
new love life
his name is chris , hes 22. also a marine, . hes aslo a phillipino, lol. hes an amazing guy, hes probably treated me the best out of any bf ive ever had. im staying optimistic about this one, even though since the breakup with the last serious bf, ive learned to protect my heart. we met in thailand in like april/may last year. and was just keepin in touch online. we started dating when we went to the phillippines in oct.
hes not perfect, he has some insecurities, but we are working through that. i can see us working out.
so, now about my leave....
i finally got that shit approved. and ive been having a lot of fun, hangin out with the birdie, and i rented a car. ive gotten to eat at alot of my fav resturants and fast food places. im sure ive gained some weight, but i dont care. ive gone to seville, danced a lil bit, heard an amazing phillipino band play, and tasted some very good apple martinis. raven and her family are awesome , theyve put up with me crashing at their house this whole time. i cant rly complain too much...
well..... except for my actual family. i waited like 3 or 4 days before i even showed my face there... my brother was in jail until the new years. everythign was ok, with the fam when i went there before the bro was out. but then the bro got ot and when i saw him, it was ok at first, but then he just kept talking.....and talking..... and talking. and what was he talking about? MONEY, god damned mother fucking MONEY. just like dropping huge hitns of wanting a lil bit so he could lad on his feet again, which i feel is total bullshit. he prettymuch blatantly said that he was just gonna use me for my car and that he also told robin (dads gf) that he was gonna tlak me into buyin him all kinds of shit, and get the cable turned back on and shit.
what an ungrateful mother fucker, i dropped about 3grand to come out here, i even told him that i spent alot of money to come out here, and he thinks that he can get some out of me. shit like that just makes me not want to go over there, at all, ever again... sounds harsh, but there is like nothing there that i rly need anymore. maybe a few things here and there but, it can wait... i have come up with the decision that i am going to excommunicate myself from them...... after this visit, i doubt i am gonna come back
but other than that, im enjoing my stay