"bestfriends.boyfriends.lies"
well.. this week has been pretty shitty.. tuesday (my birthday) was complete shit and it just didnt get any better from there.. oh well.. yesterday i spent most of my day at the nurse's office just talking to her cuz i just didnt want to deal with everything and i wanted to go home.. but i couldnt get a ride, so i just chilled with her mostly.. we talked n she helped a little, but somethings cant really be helped by anyone but the people causing it.. she told me that i needed to find something fun to do this weekend, find a guy who wont make me sad, and not get into any fights.. haha.. well.. i did find some fun, last night i went to the movies with Meg Mike Gavin n Matt.. we saw The Grudge, it wasnt really THAT scary.. i mean i did jump at some parts, but mostly just cuz the girl behind me screamed bloody murder every 5 minutes.. haha.. oh yah, i saw Frasca.. i wasnt sure if it was him but he like waved so i was like "Chris?" and we talked for a bit.. hes doing good im glad to hear but he isnt in school and he is still tryin to find a job.. it was nice seeing him though cuz i havent gotten the chance to talk to him in a while.. he really is a nice kid, i dont care what other people think.. but yah.. the first scene of the movie a guy like randomly commits suicide.. im sorry this sounds really bad, but it was the funniest thing ive ever seen!! haha.. really, like he just folds himself in half over the balcony n like falls.. oh man.. but yah.. throughout the whole movie frasca n his friend were like "this is so scary oh man..its worse than the ring" haha.. i laughed... THEN.. these two kids in front were joking (i think) n like pretending to jerk eachother off.. so i started laughing to myself but i had soda in my mouth, so i started like choking.. like reallly choking, i thought i was gona die, i couldnt even cough.. gavin was like WTF ARE YOU DOINGGG??? haha.. oh wow.. so then, after the movie, we visited steph, and then went to macdonalds..then dropped off meg.. after we dropped meg off matt decided to call her and do the voice from the movie.. it was so funny cuz he kept like laughing.. meg is like such a victim, someone always has to scare her and tell her there is something in her attic or house haha.. anyways.. then they drove me home.. n i just like talked online for a bit n went to bed..
but uhg, i found something out last night that realllyyy pissed me off.. aparently one of my "friends" has been talking shit about me behind my back..someone i would NEVER expect this from either.. and like, lately i find alot of stories coming from this person hard to believe but i would never like turn against them cuz like, well theyre my friend so i have no choice but to trust them til they do something to break that.. which they havent that i know of.. so yah.. when i found this out, a lot of things that have been happening clicked in my head.. cuz now it all like comes together.. all i have to say to this person is wow.. that is it.. like i dont even have words to how hurt i am cuz i never wouldve expected this from them.. like lately i have felt pretty hurt by them anyways, but now that i know this, it is like alot worse.. and i am still debating confronting this person cuz i have a feeling it wouldnt get me anywhere.. cuz honestly, i dont think there is anything i can do to fix this because i didnt do anything wrong in the first place.. and i have nothing to apologize for... so basically, i am being talked about n all this just because this person feels like it.. and that is really low.. i dont talk about my friends, sorry, and i think someone who does needs to rethink the friendships they have.. cuz i dont think anyone would want their friends talking shit about them, specially if its someone you trust and wouldnt expect it from.. uhg.. wow, way to make my week even worse.. and the thing is, this was already bothering me BEFORE i knew this person was talking shit.. so yah, if you have a problem with me or something, talk to me about it.. although i highly doubt there is anything you can say ive done to you..
and yah... another thing.. if youre annoyed that ive been in such a bad mood this week, you really have no right what so ever... shit sucks for me right now.. and there is not one person that i am friends with that has anything going on in their life that could possibly compare.. and i mean that.. because i dont think anyone really knows what is going on, and honestly, its no ones business.. but there is family shit that is much bigger than stupid friend shit and boy shit.. and if anyone thinks that they have the right to be angry with me or annoyed by me becuase im upset over it they have another thing coming to them.. because everything added up is not making things any better.. and honestly.. if you dont like, you dont have to come up and ask me whats wrong and try to talk to me about it.. and then go and say how stupid it is n that i dont have a reason to be upset.. thats not your place at all... and when someone im friends with has a problem, no matter how little it may seem to me, if its big to them i understand that, so why is it that some people cant understand things the same with me?
anyways.. tonight i was suposed to go to Josh n Eddies hotel party in franklin with Danny Villani.. but Danny called n he got grounded so he cant leave the house so i dont think i am going to go.. cuz i would have no ride home if i went.. oh well, i think i am going to see what Steph n Dom n everyone are doing tonight.. maybe Lisa.. hopefully find something to do.. and i didnt end up going to the parade because it rained today and Jenn n Vanessa didnt want to stand out in the cold just to watch the team drive by... it wouldve been really hard getting out of there... and the parade didnt stop.. so yah.. oh well.. i just watched it on tv... now im just chillen til i figure out plans for tonight.. my moms in littleton with my sister to visit my brother.. so im stuck here alone again.. but yah..
i just think that certain people need to be a little less dramatic and phony..if there is something going on between you n a friend, if theyre your true friend they wont mind you confronting them about it.. dont talk about them behind their back though, because you know you wouldnt like that if someone did that to you.. and really, dont make such a big deal about stupid shit just becaue YOU feel guilty.. so what, we all make mistakes, that doesnt mean you blame the other person.. you have to own up to it.. because making someone else look bad isnt fair at all.. and if you really regret something THAT much, odds are it was YOU that made the mistake.. cuz no one should be so ashamed of something that is someone elses fault.. and this isnt just about one person so id appreciate it if people dont just jump to conclusions n flip out.. because odds are if youre taking this personaly, you know that it is about you which means youve done one of two things... talked about me behind my back, or made one someone look like a piece of shit to some of your friends who dont even know the person well enough to judge her..or him.. so yah.. like i said, if you get all defensive over this odds are youve done one of those two things, meaning im not the one who owes you an apology for this, you owe ME an apology.. infact, i really dont think i owe ANYONE an apology because i havent talked about any of my friends behind thier backs and i havent done anything to anyone to make them angry with me... and if you think otherwise, then by all means correct me... cuz id really like to know what ive done..
oh and one more thing, on AIM, if youre in the middle of typing something and someone IMs you n you accidently type something to them instead.. everyone knows that happens.. so dont get all pissed off over that or the fact that im "ignoring" you.. cuz my comp is shit and sometimes that happens.. so yah.,. dont take that personal cuz odds are its cuz my comp is slow and messed up..
but uhg, i found something out last night that realllyyy pissed me off.. aparently one of my "friends" has been talking shit about me behind my back..someone i would NEVER expect this from either.. and like, lately i find alot of stories coming from this person hard to believe but i would never like turn against them cuz like, well theyre my friend so i have no choice but to trust them til they do something to break that.. which they havent that i know of.. so yah.. when i found this out, a lot of things that have been happening clicked in my head.. cuz now it all like comes together.. all i have to say to this person is wow.. that is it.. like i dont even have words to how hurt i am cuz i never wouldve expected this from them.. like lately i have felt pretty hurt by them anyways, but now that i know this, it is like alot worse.. and i am still debating confronting this person cuz i have a feeling it wouldnt get me anywhere.. cuz honestly, i dont think there is anything i can do to fix this because i didnt do anything wrong in the first place.. and i have nothing to apologize for... so basically, i am being talked about n all this just because this person feels like it.. and that is really low.. i dont talk about my friends, sorry, and i think someone who does needs to rethink the friendships they have.. cuz i dont think anyone would want their friends talking shit about them, specially if its someone you trust and wouldnt expect it from.. uhg.. wow, way to make my week even worse.. and the thing is, this was already bothering me BEFORE i knew this person was talking shit.. so yah, if you have a problem with me or something, talk to me about it.. although i highly doubt there is anything you can say ive done to you..
and yah... another thing.. if youre annoyed that ive been in such a bad mood this week, you really have no right what so ever... shit sucks for me right now.. and there is not one person that i am friends with that has anything going on in their life that could possibly compare.. and i mean that.. because i dont think anyone really knows what is going on, and honestly, its no ones business.. but there is family shit that is much bigger than stupid friend shit and boy shit.. and if anyone thinks that they have the right to be angry with me or annoyed by me becuase im upset over it they have another thing coming to them.. because everything added up is not making things any better.. and honestly.. if you dont like, you dont have to come up and ask me whats wrong and try to talk to me about it.. and then go and say how stupid it is n that i dont have a reason to be upset.. thats not your place at all... and when someone im friends with has a problem, no matter how little it may seem to me, if its big to them i understand that, so why is it that some people cant understand things the same with me?
anyways.. tonight i was suposed to go to Josh n Eddies hotel party in franklin with Danny Villani.. but Danny called n he got grounded so he cant leave the house so i dont think i am going to go.. cuz i would have no ride home if i went.. oh well, i think i am going to see what Steph n Dom n everyone are doing tonight.. maybe Lisa.. hopefully find something to do.. and i didnt end up going to the parade because it rained today and Jenn n Vanessa didnt want to stand out in the cold just to watch the team drive by... it wouldve been really hard getting out of there... and the parade didnt stop.. so yah.. oh well.. i just watched it on tv... now im just chillen til i figure out plans for tonight.. my moms in littleton with my sister to visit my brother.. so im stuck here alone again.. but yah..
i just think that certain people need to be a little less dramatic and phony..if there is something going on between you n a friend, if theyre your true friend they wont mind you confronting them about it.. dont talk about them behind their back though, because you know you wouldnt like that if someone did that to you.. and really, dont make such a big deal about stupid shit just becaue YOU feel guilty.. so what, we all make mistakes, that doesnt mean you blame the other person.. you have to own up to it.. because making someone else look bad isnt fair at all.. and if you really regret something THAT much, odds are it was YOU that made the mistake.. cuz no one should be so ashamed of something that is someone elses fault.. and this isnt just about one person so id appreciate it if people dont just jump to conclusions n flip out.. because odds are if youre taking this personaly, you know that it is about you which means youve done one of two things... talked about me behind my back, or made one someone look like a piece of shit to some of your friends who dont even know the person well enough to judge her..or him.. so yah.. like i said, if you get all defensive over this odds are youve done one of those two things, meaning im not the one who owes you an apology for this, you owe ME an apology.. infact, i really dont think i owe ANYONE an apology because i havent talked about any of my friends behind thier backs and i havent done anything to anyone to make them angry with me... and if you think otherwise, then by all means correct me... cuz id really like to know what ive done..
oh and one more thing, on AIM, if youre in the middle of typing something and someone IMs you n you accidently type something to them instead.. everyone knows that happens.. so dont get all pissed off over that or the fact that im "ignoring" you.. cuz my comp is shit and sometimes that happens.. so yah.,. dont take that personal cuz odds are its cuz my comp is slow and messed up..