(no subject)
i am having a good day. a day by myself in an empty house, letting myself drift doing things i love :)
i have slept in, read a good book curled up in bed while it rained outside, a nice coffee curled up on the couch, painted a bit of the sheild, will have a bath later i think, am now internet bludging with the music turned right up.....now isnt that a good, heart-healing, day? :D
i found this on a friendsfriends page and it gave me shivers... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSMNt8ZciU8
it is filling the lonely, empty house.... and i am trying to avoid feeling lonely. cuz Jay has left for Canada. we were up early on Wednesday to get a very nervous brother to the airport, through the long queues, and then a quick hug before he set off for 3 months. i am happy for him, i think its great, but dammit, i've just started getting to know him as an actual person, you know, able to have an actual conversation, rather than just my annoying little brother. and with both of us at home the last few months, its been nice having someone else in the house, its too quiet without him and there is noone to talk to. and i have a much suppressed aversion to be all alone in a house. oh well. i can walk around in my pjs all day and play music and do what i like and maybe it'll be good for me :)
had a lovely walk with dad yesterday evening, good chats about nature of the world and man and stuff. and took some amazing sunset cloud shots :) may post these later....
mum called we talked about the dress she is making for me for the medievil feast, and how she's been nominated as a telstra business woman of the year. then my older cousin, grandad and sheila called from the UK, which was lovely. its nice to feel connected.
feeling a bit fragile about family just at the moment. dont want to talk about it here. dont know what to think or feel, and being me am probaly over reacting.
but last weekend was nice, with mum home to say goodbye to jay. was still sick so didnt make it to work, or andrew's 21st on saturday, or Lara's on sunday, which i felt bad about. but we did some sewing and stuff and virginia came over for dinner, which was nice. i got to competely shock mum, (she was telling a story about someone in Alice offering Jay condoms and place to take girls home to, and she was horrified, so i told her i'd offered to get jay some for canada as i'd rather he had them than not and how i was sure and dad wouldnt be much use, and it completely stumpeed her, hehe, she couldnt say anything! and then dad said hed actually got jay some, and virginia pointed out that we were grown up now. and tim was sitting there desperately not laughing) it was brilliant!!!
still sick though, and fragile and so have spent most of the week in bed/quiet still. it sucks.
but spent the last few days with the boy, which is always good. especially when i'd been missing him teribly and needing hugs. he came over for dinner on wednesday night, which i think dad liked, and then took me home. i'd been feeling a bit neglected and needy, and needed something special, and as he somehow always manages to do, he did something lovely and sweet and just so 'tim' and why i love him so. he'd got me candles and lit them around the bedroom while i had my eyes closed and then i got lovely cuddles :D thursday was a sleepin and i stayed in bed and played wow until chris called and i went over to help him pack. not much packing, but lots of sorting of piles of paper and cds and shit. kept a pile of useless cds which intend to artify somehow... despite headache, tim and i headed out to the shops, had chinese and i got a cute scull'n'crossbones shirt and 'the princess bride' on dvd for $5!!! went home and played some rayman raving rabids, getting 'wii elbow' and then bed for more snuggles. friday was another outing day, i went in to uni to help robin, a family friend, with her multimedia website assignment. i hated it when i did it, and it wasnt any more pleasnt this time. i dont hink ihelped much, but she was happy, so thats what matters. plus its just nice to do things for people sometimes, even though i grumbled. it also meant i got to have a lovely coffee and hours chat with Huw, which quite made the trip worthwhile :D friday night didnt go so well, had a bit of a fight with tim, over nothing much, but it exploded. i suppose i am not so over the wierd mood swings and tears and stuff as i'd like. anyway, it meant we didnt go to rachy's art thing and just ended up getting pizza and watching tv and computers before bed. saturday was lovely slow waking up to the sound of rain. i bounced up and went and stood on the balcony in the rain and sunshine and laughed. tim thought i was crazy :P wasnt feeling so well, so back to bed. got a lovely backrub which turned into somewhat good ... :D i do so loves my boy. groceries and tv and i cooked spagetti bolognaise for dinner. wouldve liked to go out, but still coughing badly, so had to stay in. still feeling ill sunday morning, which led to staying in bed a bit too long, and no iwasnt snuggling though i wanted too, and so we missed teh computer markets. and dont go to the liquor superstore in lutwuche, its crap. then home so I could wash the sheets and towels -mmm, yay for clean new sheets on the bed- and we watched sahara cuddled on the couch. then walks with dad and thula and then staying up too late....
which led to today :P
...and now the afternoon is mostly gone, and ive got nothing much done, but listened to music videos -something i never thought i'd do- ebayed and written all this diary...
so i should go now, do something useful, take something for this killer headache thats been shitting me for days and leaving me dizzy and nauseous....
*loves to everyone*
i have slept in, read a good book curled up in bed while it rained outside, a nice coffee curled up on the couch, painted a bit of the sheild, will have a bath later i think, am now internet bludging with the music turned right up.....now isnt that a good, heart-healing, day? :D
i found this on a friendsfriends page and it gave me shivers... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSMNt8ZciU8
it is filling the lonely, empty house.... and i am trying to avoid feeling lonely. cuz Jay has left for Canada. we were up early on Wednesday to get a very nervous brother to the airport, through the long queues, and then a quick hug before he set off for 3 months. i am happy for him, i think its great, but dammit, i've just started getting to know him as an actual person, you know, able to have an actual conversation, rather than just my annoying little brother. and with both of us at home the last few months, its been nice having someone else in the house, its too quiet without him and there is noone to talk to. and i have a much suppressed aversion to be all alone in a house. oh well. i can walk around in my pjs all day and play music and do what i like and maybe it'll be good for me :)
had a lovely walk with dad yesterday evening, good chats about nature of the world and man and stuff. and took some amazing sunset cloud shots :) may post these later....
mum called we talked about the dress she is making for me for the medievil feast, and how she's been nominated as a telstra business woman of the year. then my older cousin, grandad and sheila called from the UK, which was lovely. its nice to feel connected.
feeling a bit fragile about family just at the moment. dont want to talk about it here. dont know what to think or feel, and being me am probaly over reacting.
but last weekend was nice, with mum home to say goodbye to jay. was still sick so didnt make it to work, or andrew's 21st on saturday, or Lara's on sunday, which i felt bad about. but we did some sewing and stuff and virginia came over for dinner, which was nice. i got to competely shock mum, (she was telling a story about someone in Alice offering Jay condoms and place to take girls home to, and she was horrified, so i told her i'd offered to get jay some for canada as i'd rather he had them than not and how i was sure and dad wouldnt be much use, and it completely stumpeed her, hehe, she couldnt say anything! and then dad said hed actually got jay some, and virginia pointed out that we were grown up now. and tim was sitting there desperately not laughing) it was brilliant!!!
still sick though, and fragile and so have spent most of the week in bed/quiet still. it sucks.
but spent the last few days with the boy, which is always good. especially when i'd been missing him teribly and needing hugs. he came over for dinner on wednesday night, which i think dad liked, and then took me home. i'd been feeling a bit neglected and needy, and needed something special, and as he somehow always manages to do, he did something lovely and sweet and just so 'tim' and why i love him so. he'd got me candles and lit them around the bedroom while i had my eyes closed and then i got lovely cuddles :D thursday was a sleepin and i stayed in bed and played wow until chris called and i went over to help him pack. not much packing, but lots of sorting of piles of paper and cds and shit. kept a pile of useless cds which intend to artify somehow... despite headache, tim and i headed out to the shops, had chinese and i got a cute scull'n'crossbones shirt and 'the princess bride' on dvd for $5!!! went home and played some rayman raving rabids, getting 'wii elbow' and then bed for more snuggles. friday was another outing day, i went in to uni to help robin, a family friend, with her multimedia website assignment. i hated it when i did it, and it wasnt any more pleasnt this time. i dont hink ihelped much, but she was happy, so thats what matters. plus its just nice to do things for people sometimes, even though i grumbled. it also meant i got to have a lovely coffee and hours chat with Huw, which quite made the trip worthwhile :D friday night didnt go so well, had a bit of a fight with tim, over nothing much, but it exploded. i suppose i am not so over the wierd mood swings and tears and stuff as i'd like. anyway, it meant we didnt go to rachy's art thing and just ended up getting pizza and watching tv and computers before bed. saturday was lovely slow waking up to the sound of rain. i bounced up and went and stood on the balcony in the rain and sunshine and laughed. tim thought i was crazy :P wasnt feeling so well, so back to bed. got a lovely backrub which turned into somewhat good ... :D i do so loves my boy. groceries and tv and i cooked spagetti bolognaise for dinner. wouldve liked to go out, but still coughing badly, so had to stay in. still feeling ill sunday morning, which led to staying in bed a bit too long, and no iwasnt snuggling though i wanted too, and so we missed teh computer markets. and dont go to the liquor superstore in lutwuche, its crap. then home so I could wash the sheets and towels -mmm, yay for clean new sheets on the bed- and we watched sahara cuddled on the couch. then walks with dad and thula and then staying up too late....
which led to today :P
...and now the afternoon is mostly gone, and ive got nothing much done, but listened to music videos -something i never thought i'd do- ebayed and written all this diary...
so i should go now, do something useful, take something for this killer headache thats been shitting me for days and leaving me dizzy and nauseous....
*loves to everyone*