Updating Again

[flufybumblebee]

High All, just gettin in touch to update my contacts... again. I am sooooooo (plus infinity) crap at keeping in touch with people. There are so, so many lovely people out there that i just don't keep in touch with. I haven't yet worked out why cos basically i end up being isolated and lonely so it doesn't really make any sense. Oh well. So get in

Comments

[lydiasings]

Hello *waves at you*

[flufybumblebee]

*Waves back*

[meihua]

Silly bee, don't be lonely, you're lovely.

[ruth_sedina]

Aww! Such cuteness! Yay!

[flufybumblebee]

Hello lovely person,

I don't want to be lonely but i seem to act in ways that lead me to be, so maybe i do? Have never understood humans, particularly myself. It seems we (or at least me) are experts at sabataging our own happyness or failing to act to create more happyness. I think having ideals that are so high leads to feelings of dissapointment with the real world. I don't think i have found how to consistantly be happy with the world as it is though i think having more friends in the real world would help. I feel very alone here in brighton but i feel so much safer here than i ever did in london. Not sure how to go about making new friends without it involving lots of money.

[meihua]

Yeah, I get all that.

I made myself a list of "people who I really want to see more" and wrote it down. It was a shortlist of 10ish people, and I put it somewhere prominent.

Then, whenever I felt lonely, I made myself go look at the list and think hard about each person. I was not allowed to carry on being lonely unless there was a very good reason why I couldn't go hang out with any of them.

[ruth_sedina]

I love talking to you Fluf!

[flufybumblebee]

I know you do beautiful, i love talking with you too, but i need to talk to more people than you. We spend far too much time with just each other. We (i) need to socialise with more people together and seperately.

[ruth_sedina]

I know. I was just saying in case you forgot : )
Of course we should talk to other people.

[meihua]

*noddles* Sensible thoughts. I went down that road (only ever hanging with penguinsteph) a while ago and it was a bad one.

[redandfiery]

It's not just you who's crap at keeping in touch, I'm the same. Sometimes it's down to a touch of diffidence - when people seem to have such busy lives, I feel as if asking them to make time to fit me in as well is just putting them under even more pressure than they already have - so I don't ask. And then I don't see them for ages, because they're so busy and I didn't speak up. Meh.

[flufybumblebee]

I understand what you are saying but in my case its not that i'm too busy or that anyone else is too busy but because i don't seem to remember people unless something reminds me. I have thought of eloborate ways to remind myself like having a video wall with photos of peoples faces on which sets off an alarm if i haven't spoken to any person for a specific period of time, maybe in the voice of the person. Not sure why i would need to go to such elaborite ends to be reminded but it seemed like a good idea. I also used be online more often on chat programs but i stopped doing that too? I'm just silly and forgetful i suppose.

[flufybumblebee]

Thank you (all) for replying, btw, i appreciate it. How do you make new friends? Particularly things that don't involve money or at least lots of money.

[darkfloweruk]

I'm thinking of doing more volunteering (once my course ends). That's a good free way of meeting folk, especially if it's in a charity shop for example.

*fluffy hugs*

[rhialto]

/me waves from the .NL and sends hugs

Speaking of online chat programs: there comes one with livejournal! Or at least not the program, you can choose from a bunch of clients as long as they support Jabber (the XMPP protocol). I use Pidgin but Psi is also quite good (and better at XMPP since that's all it speaks).

[flufybumblebee]

i'm sorry i didn't return hugs sooner

i hope it not to late to send them

wishing you well and sending hugs back :)

[rhialto]

Hugs are always welcome! Especially ones that just seem to come out of thin air :-)