A happy ending
A happy ending | tVD | Damon (Elena, Stefan, Katherine) | 905 words | warnings: Damon
(also known as: that time when upupa-epops thought there should be crack!fic about Damon becoming human again and having to deal with human things again.)
I try, I do. I try and try. A happy ending?
Sure enough - Hello darling, welcome home.
Siken, Saying Your Names
Damon lets the same thing (mistake) happen all over again, in spite it being 150 or so years later, in spite of him having picked up a few things along the way (it's more fun to flirt with women than compel them, you should stop drinking if you feel that your meal can't stand on its own and always have at least one drinking buddy in reach), so he says ok and trusts his brother once again (mistake number one and also, coincidentally, mistake number four thousand three hundred and two in his book) and he drinks what his brother calls the cure with a look of blind adoration in his eyes, the same he used to have when he looked at his brother and then Katherine and then blood and then Elena and then all of those things all over again, forever.
This is no good, is what he thinks and later says, the first time he punches his brother. His fist makes contact with Stefan's face and then Stefan punches back and soon he's breathless and Stefan's on the floor and there's blood on his knuckles, and this is when he thinks, well fuck.
It feels like he's human for the first time, all over again, a brand new being (not taking into account the 160 or so years of issues and self imposed isolation and a penchant for drama).
So obviously, he gets drunk again, on the first day. Slurrs words and can't walk and Stefan just looks at him and sighs and Elena looks at him and rolls her eyes and helps him get to his bed.
She looks for a second like she might do something crazy, like sit on his bed or stay for a night or for a hundred nights, but then she doesn't, she gets up and doesn't turn around, even when he yells, we screwed this up, elena.
He pretends that if he still had enhanced hearing, he could hear her murmur something like, I know, Damon. I'm sorry, Damon. We weren't thinking, Damon.
But that doesn't happen.
What happens instead is, he tries to move on. (Or at least comes as close to trying as he can. He moved on from being human, he can do this as well.)
His attempt to move on results, of course, in the most awful hangover in the morning, and that's coming from a man who's been saying to the world come on, hit me, give it your best shot, for more than half a century.
He makes coffee for himself in his empty kitchen in the morning. Makes a cup for Stefan as well, but no one's there. (More than one hundred years later, and still, no one's there. It's almost sad, if you think about it. So naturally, Damon doesn't.)
So of course he goes drinking again in the evening. But less, because Damon doesn't want to get drunk today, what Damon wants to is get laid, because that usually helps with whatever problem he's pretending not to have at the moment.
He picks a cute brunette sitting by herself in a corner, and feeds her some lines that he forgets the moment they leave his mouth, just like he forgets her name the moment it leaves hers.
They go to her place (he can't compel her so it'll be easier to just sneak out of her house in the morning) and then something happens, something he can't remember ever happening.
Do you have a condom? she asks and he bursts out laughing and laughs and just can't stop.
I didn't think anyone still used those, he offers as a weak explanation, but she's had a million shots and she just smiles and grabs one out of her purse.
The condom feels weird in his hands, like using a typewriter in the 21st century or trying to get blood stains out of his carpet with bleach. (There's just some things a man doesn't do.)
He fumbles with it until she decides to stop rolling her eyes and helps him.
When he gets home the next day, Stefan's getting dressed already.
What's with the new life style?
I'm going to work. There's bills we need to pay.
Damon opens his mouth but then can't think of anything to say. He didn't enjoy work, not even in his first human life.
He goes to the Grill later, despite the fact that their food sucks, because he doesn't feel like cooking. (And there's nothing to make a meal from in their kitchen.)
He spends three minutes and twenty four seconds staring at Elena staring at Stefan wearing an apron and cleaning up tables before he remembers he's here to eat. He has a stake and leaves the bill to Stefan.
(He lasts another month before he starts calling people who might know other people who might have the information he needs. It takes him twenty three phone calls before he finds out that Katherine might be found in New York at the moment. He takes all of Stefan's money and leaves a note on the living room table. He packs a suitcase worth of clothes and bourbon and some books and takes his car and drives out of Mystic Falls, in another desperate pursuit of a do-over. It will be better this time, Damon knows, with certainty. He's picked up a few things along the way after all.)
(also known as: that time when upupa-epops thought there should be crack!fic about Damon becoming human again and having to deal with human things again.)
I try, I do. I try and try. A happy ending?
Sure enough - Hello darling, welcome home.
Siken, Saying Your Names
Damon lets the same thing (mistake) happen all over again, in spite it being 150 or so years later, in spite of him having picked up a few things along the way (it's more fun to flirt with women than compel them, you should stop drinking if you feel that your meal can't stand on its own and always have at least one drinking buddy in reach), so he says ok and trusts his brother once again (mistake number one and also, coincidentally, mistake number four thousand three hundred and two in his book) and he drinks what his brother calls the cure with a look of blind adoration in his eyes, the same he used to have when he looked at his brother and then Katherine and then blood and then Elena and then all of those things all over again, forever.
This is no good, is what he thinks and later says, the first time he punches his brother. His fist makes contact with Stefan's face and then Stefan punches back and soon he's breathless and Stefan's on the floor and there's blood on his knuckles, and this is when he thinks, well fuck.
It feels like he's human for the first time, all over again, a brand new being (not taking into account the 160 or so years of issues and self imposed isolation and a penchant for drama).
So obviously, he gets drunk again, on the first day. Slurrs words and can't walk and Stefan just looks at him and sighs and Elena looks at him and rolls her eyes and helps him get to his bed.
She looks for a second like she might do something crazy, like sit on his bed or stay for a night or for a hundred nights, but then she doesn't, she gets up and doesn't turn around, even when he yells, we screwed this up, elena.
He pretends that if he still had enhanced hearing, he could hear her murmur something like, I know, Damon. I'm sorry, Damon. We weren't thinking, Damon.
But that doesn't happen.
What happens instead is, he tries to move on. (Or at least comes as close to trying as he can. He moved on from being human, he can do this as well.)
His attempt to move on results, of course, in the most awful hangover in the morning, and that's coming from a man who's been saying to the world come on, hit me, give it your best shot, for more than half a century.
He makes coffee for himself in his empty kitchen in the morning. Makes a cup for Stefan as well, but no one's there. (More than one hundred years later, and still, no one's there. It's almost sad, if you think about it. So naturally, Damon doesn't.)
So of course he goes drinking again in the evening. But less, because Damon doesn't want to get drunk today, what Damon wants to is get laid, because that usually helps with whatever problem he's pretending not to have at the moment.
He picks a cute brunette sitting by herself in a corner, and feeds her some lines that he forgets the moment they leave his mouth, just like he forgets her name the moment it leaves hers.
They go to her place (he can't compel her so it'll be easier to just sneak out of her house in the morning) and then something happens, something he can't remember ever happening.
Do you have a condom? she asks and he bursts out laughing and laughs and just can't stop.
I didn't think anyone still used those, he offers as a weak explanation, but she's had a million shots and she just smiles and grabs one out of her purse.
The condom feels weird in his hands, like using a typewriter in the 21st century or trying to get blood stains out of his carpet with bleach. (There's just some things a man doesn't do.)
He fumbles with it until she decides to stop rolling her eyes and helps him.
When he gets home the next day, Stefan's getting dressed already.
What's with the new life style?
I'm going to work. There's bills we need to pay.
Damon opens his mouth but then can't think of anything to say. He didn't enjoy work, not even in his first human life.
He goes to the Grill later, despite the fact that their food sucks, because he doesn't feel like cooking. (And there's nothing to make a meal from in their kitchen.)
He spends three minutes and twenty four seconds staring at Elena staring at Stefan wearing an apron and cleaning up tables before he remembers he's here to eat. He has a stake and leaves the bill to Stefan.
(He lasts another month before he starts calling people who might know other people who might have the information he needs. It takes him twenty three phone calls before he finds out that Katherine might be found in New York at the moment. He takes all of Stefan's money and leaves a note on the living room table. He packs a suitcase worth of clothes and bourbon and some books and takes his car and drives out of Mystic Falls, in another desperate pursuit of a do-over. It will be better this time, Damon knows, with certainty. He's picked up a few things along the way after all.)