Fluffzilla's List - The things Sadhbh is not allowed to do in her wedding - part 2

[fluffworld]

1. The term "special day" does not invoke the "pinch and a punch" rule.
2. When people refer to "being treated like a princess", I am not allowed assume they mean Peaches and inquire what exactly I am meant to do with two mustachioed Italian men on my wedding night.
3. It is called the Bridal Chorus not the Bridal Dirge.
4. Slow acoustic guitar accompanied by a lone singer is not "the sound of death coming for us all".
5. No one has a lovely bunch of coconuts.
6. Straight vodka should not be used as a a) toast b) aperitif c) mouthwash.
7. Rum cocktails are not a complete meal.