Dear Isabelle: Would he have loved you, and not let you down?
A mix of awesome and bad emerged today to result in awesad, but it's ok, because even though my body hurts, and I'm wired to the teeth on 800mg of caffeine, and even though Dave's going off his drugs that kept him from killing himself, I had fun today. For those concerned, Dave is taking himself off them because they don't make him feel right, and though it worries me, the antagonists that plagued his life before are gone, and I'm sure he will most likely be better off the pills. He was on Paxil, and it made him numb... he says it's as if he had been seeing in black and white on a tiny tv, and now he's in a theatre with full colour and surround sound... so I'm happy for him.. that is to say, I hope it goes well for him. He doesn't want to be on medication for the rest of his life, which I can understand. I don't want to be on medication for the rest of my life too, but sadly I don't really feel there's a safe alternative for me.
Moving on.
The 800mg of caffeine was far and away super awesome, still is, though it's resulted in a bit of a headache. It was worth it for the fun I had this evening being a nerd and hanging out with some friends.
I need to get a job in order right quick... it took me a while to get in gear, and I allowed myself that what with getting back with my friends and getting used to this city again. That's all fine and well except I need money, and I need it now. I think I will apply for jobs even if they are only part time because I need the money that badly... seriously I do. So I think I'm just going to undertake a disgusting amount of work, burn myself out, but get myself out of debt, while searching for a full time job that won't kill me so badly. I think I'm going to need to keep my car in working order to manage this, because busing around isn't going to allow me enough time to switch back and forth fluidly between part time jobs, or a full time and part time... especially the latter, because I need to allow for maximum sleep, which on that schedule is looking to be about 8 hrs max, and I need at least 10. That's a pretty decent amount of sleep now, considering 2 years ago I needed at least 14 hours of sleep to function even reasonably well. How sad is that? 10 hours of awake, and the rest asleep... it was actually quite tragic, and I cried about it a lot, tried to change it but was too fatigued, and succumbed to the evil of much slumber. Now I'm fine. YAY. Mostly caffeine talking right now though... it's going to be quite a while before I actually manage to get to sleep, but that's good 'cause I need to apply for jobs. Speaking of, gotta go. Ta!
Moving on.
The 800mg of caffeine was far and away super awesome, still is, though it's resulted in a bit of a headache. It was worth it for the fun I had this evening being a nerd and hanging out with some friends.
I need to get a job in order right quick... it took me a while to get in gear, and I allowed myself that what with getting back with my friends and getting used to this city again. That's all fine and well except I need money, and I need it now. I think I will apply for jobs even if they are only part time because I need the money that badly... seriously I do. So I think I'm just going to undertake a disgusting amount of work, burn myself out, but get myself out of debt, while searching for a full time job that won't kill me so badly. I think I'm going to need to keep my car in working order to manage this, because busing around isn't going to allow me enough time to switch back and forth fluidly between part time jobs, or a full time and part time... especially the latter, because I need to allow for maximum sleep, which on that schedule is looking to be about 8 hrs max, and I need at least 10. That's a pretty decent amount of sleep now, considering 2 years ago I needed at least 14 hours of sleep to function even reasonably well. How sad is that? 10 hours of awake, and the rest asleep... it was actually quite tragic, and I cried about it a lot, tried to change it but was too fatigued, and succumbed to the evil of much slumber. Now I'm fine. YAY. Mostly caffeine talking right now though... it's going to be quite a while before I actually manage to get to sleep, but that's good 'cause I need to apply for jobs. Speaking of, gotta go. Ta!