whistle
i cringe at the fact that im suppose to be so much more than i am. its not a fear but more of the question, Am i ready to be who i was meant to be? i dont even know why the thought was there or even the feeling, but i know its there, echoing from my heart and mind and soul. we have great purposes and we are great people. i want to feel that everyday, so badly. i want to be humble and meek, i want to be selfless and honest, i want to be pure and righteous, i want that spiritual happiness and fulfillment. but this world, i swear, it can take its hold. it knows how to stab at those thoughts, those feelings that you have deep down inside in the dark, those vulnerablities that we dont like to deal with. those limits are always there to push our confidence down, to push our dreams to the side and to just accept the same habits, the same ways we live our lives. i dont want my life to be a habit, i want it to be an adventure. i want to wake up and know, that on my to do list, i have to slay a dragon, i have to stand up for something i believe in, i have to rally someone, i have to save someone, i want that on my to do list. i wasnt meant to be doing the same thing everyday. i want to be excited about the next day. i want to live. i want to live so badly.
i am now rehired at hardrock. i will start working there again, no more alligator farm for me. they just stay open for about 3 days a week, and if its too cold, they close so im going where the hours are, need the work to get the money to pay the bills. but it will be good working there again. i will work with people i know, its a job i know how to do and its not too stressful.
grad papers are due by feb 2nd. i have to fill those out soon or i wont get to walk and that wont be fun. which means, this laziness thing i have, needs to go. i hate being lazy and most of all, i hate the feeling of not being productive.
relationships are weird. i dont know how else to word that or to explain it, but they are weird. yes, girls are insane and boys are dumb, but i tell you, relationships are so weird. they are nice to have if you have that significant other to share the same joys in life together. they take lots of work, time, patience, and most of all, love for them to work. that same relationship you share with God should reflect the relationship you share with your significant other. not completely but majority of it should. i believe if you can do that, i believe it will work out for the best.
lonliness, what a feeling. we arent truly lonely but this world likes to make us think we are. we have to fight that. we deserve so much more than this world can offer.
carpe diem people.
~peace
i am now rehired at hardrock. i will start working there again, no more alligator farm for me. they just stay open for about 3 days a week, and if its too cold, they close so im going where the hours are, need the work to get the money to pay the bills. but it will be good working there again. i will work with people i know, its a job i know how to do and its not too stressful.
grad papers are due by feb 2nd. i have to fill those out soon or i wont get to walk and that wont be fun. which means, this laziness thing i have, needs to go. i hate being lazy and most of all, i hate the feeling of not being productive.
relationships are weird. i dont know how else to word that or to explain it, but they are weird. yes, girls are insane and boys are dumb, but i tell you, relationships are so weird. they are nice to have if you have that significant other to share the same joys in life together. they take lots of work, time, patience, and most of all, love for them to work. that same relationship you share with God should reflect the relationship you share with your significant other. not completely but majority of it should. i believe if you can do that, i believe it will work out for the best.
lonliness, what a feeling. we arent truly lonely but this world likes to make us think we are. we have to fight that. we deserve so much more than this world can offer.
carpe diem people.
~peace