In Silence [2/2]
Title: In Silence [2/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Yifan is head over heels, but he isn’t sure if Junmyeon feels the same way.
[1]
Sehun frowned in confusion.
Yifan looked like he got something on his mind. The older male had his cell phone between his fingers, like he was about to make a call or something, but then he placed it on the table-which only lasted for two seconds because he snatched the phone back, obviously changing his mind. Yifan had been doing it for the last ten minutes and it got Sehun’s full attention from the book he was reading.
“Care to share what’s on your mind?”
Yifan looked up at Sehun, who only raised his brows in return. “Oh. Am I that obvious?”
Sehun pursed his lips, not sure if Yifan was joking or just being incredibly dense. “I’m just asking.”
“…Sehunnie?”
“Hm?”
“You know that feeling when you think he loves you but maybe he doesn’t, but you’re not one hundred percent sure, but you can’t bring yourself to ask, but you want to know what’s actually happening-“
“Whoa,” Sehun intercepted with a hand held up. “Too many buts, Hyung. What are you talking about?”
“I just-“ Yifan sighed in frustration as he sagged in his seat. “I don’t know.”
“It’s too late to back away now. Tell me, what’s wrong?”
Yifan finally shrugged in defeat after a few moments. “I don’t know. Maybe...maybe Junmyeon just doesn’t love me.”
Sehun blinked too many times before replying, “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Maybe Junmyeon doesn’t love me...”
“Yehet. You mean Junmyeon-hyung hates you?”
“That’s not what I-“ Yifan hung his head dejectedly, obviously scarred by what Sehun had just said. “Hate is such a strong word, but…yeah. Yeah, I think he does...”
Sehun narrowed his eyes to Yifan judgingly as he placed the book aside. “Did you do something wrong? What did you do?”
“Exactly! That’s what I think!”
Sehun grimaced. “...you don’t know.”
“...exactly.”
“Oh my god,” Sehun growled as he smacked his palm on his forehead. “You don’t know what’s wrong.”
“He won’t tell me,” Yifan said in exasperation. “Like I said, he won’t tell me, and I just can’t...ask.”
“You mean you haven’t asked him?”
“I…I don’t think I should…”
“Why? He’s your boyfriend, you have the right to ask.”
“I know, right,” Yifan sounded even more desperate, and now he was beginning to wonder why he bothered to tell Sehun in the first place. “But that’s what I don’t know, Sehun. He’s my boyfriend, yes, but it’s like he’s building a defensive wall and he’s not allowing me to break it apart...and plus his flat reactions when it comes to Jongdae-“
“Who’s Jongdae?”
“My new secretary. Anyway, Jongdae has been giving me gifts and Junmyeon looked…neutral. So freaking neutral. He even complimented Jongdae, for God’s sake! I mean, what kind of boyfriend compliments on his boyfriend’s new secretary? He’s supposed to at least feel jealous! Jongdae is a stranger in our lives! Unlike Sunny, Junmyeon has never met Jongdae before! And suddenly, he just-“
“What kind of boyfriend accepts gifts from his new secretary?” Sehun deadpanned and Yifan felt an invisible stab in his chest. The younger of the two quickly spoke again to beat whatever it was that Yifan was about to say. “I’m just gonna ignore that for now... Anyway, I’m not so sure if I like this Jongdae, but have you ever thought that…maybe Junmyeon-hyung isn’t the jealous type?”
Yifan fell silent immediately.
Sehun looked away thoughtfully as he casually rested his cheek on his fist. “You’ve been going out for how long again? And you’ve been living together since when again?”
Yifan let out a heavy sigh. “Maybe living together isn’t a guarantee that I will know him better...”
“Are you saying that you don’t know Junmyeon-hyung well even if you’re together?”
A part of Yifan wanted to say yes, but the other part told him not to answer. The male stayed silent. Now he really did wonder why he told Sehun..but it was too late for regret.
“Hyung,” Sehun started with a dangerous tone. “Remember that time when you were dying to make a move on Junmyeon, and you forced me to make friends with Junmyeon-hyung’s brother? Man, Zitao was such a hard person to approach. All that sacrifices...all that hard work…all the things I’ve done… I could still remember those days like they were yesterday.”
Yifan nodded dumbly, not understanding why Sehun brought it up. “Yeah...why?”
Sehun leaned closer with a serious, deadly look. “Just a friendly reminder that I fucking approached Zitao for you, Hyung. It took me every effort-because I love you so damn much-but fortunately Zitao was worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to have met Zitao, we’re bff now. But that’s not the point.”
“So…”
“The point is, I will kill you if all of my efforts are wasted for nothing. And so, you better talk to your boyfriend and make things right.”
Yifan swallowed thickly.
***
On his way home, Yifan had been thinking of a way to approach Junmyeon.
Hopefully Junmyeon was in a good mood. Hopefully he would be able to start talking in a good way and hopefully, Junmyeon would be willing to listen.
Yifan was about to call out Junmyeon’s name when he saw his boyfriend was sleeping on the couch.
He knew that Sehun urged him to talk and make things right-preferably right away-but the view of Junmyeon sleeping soundly made him think that it was not important right then. Yifan carefully sat at the edge of the couch and extended a hand to caress Junmyeon’s hair, liking how his heart beat every time he touched a part of Junmyeon.
God…
I love you so damn much, Kim Junmyeon.
Yifan stopped moving when Junmyeon stirred lightly in his sleep. Please don’t wake up. Unfortunately, his wish wasn’t granted. The next second, a pair of beautiful eyes were gazing right into his and Yifan broke into an apologetic smile.
“Hi. I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”
“You’re home,” Junmyeon mumbled sleepily, still too dazed to move. The male’s eyes widened the next second when he realized what he had just said. “Oh my god, you’re home! I’m sorry I fell asleep! I haven’t cooked anything for dinner yet-“
“Hey, it’s okay,” Yifan shook his head as he grabbed Junmyeon’s arm, preventing the latter from standing up up. “We can eat outside. You don’t have to cook.”
“But…eating outside would be unhealthy...”
“We’ll just order salad, then. Besides, it’s been a while since we go out…”
“But…I already ate outside today...”
Yifan held his breath. “You what?”
Junmyeon rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I ate with a friend today. I think I had too much meat... I think it would be better if I just cook something light for us…”
“You...went out?”
“Yeah...”
“With who?”
Junmyeon halted his movement upon hearing Yifan’s tone. He slowly lowered his hand, gazing blankly at Yifan. “...a friend.”
“Well, does this friend have a name or not?” Yifan asked impatiently.
Junmyeon pressed his lips into a line. “His name is Baekhyun.”
“Who is Baekhyun?”
“He’s my high school friend.”
“Your high school friend??”
Junmyeon’s expression changed and it was then Yifan realized he was being a bit harsh. Yifan gritted his teeth as he looked away, not liking the uncanny feeling that bubbled within his chest. He inwardly told himself that it wasn’t jealousy. No, it wasn’t jealousy.
Crap, it’s jealousy.
Yifan needed more than just a few minutes to be able to hide his emotions. The whole time, neither of them moved from their spots. Junmyeon said nothing but to quietly observe him and it somehow hurt Yifan. It hurt Yifan...because Junmyeon didn’t do anything to make him feel better.
Why don’t you say something, Junmyeon...?
Yifan forced himself to smile, even though he was certain Junmyeon would be able to see right through that it wasn’t sincere. “I’m sorry.”
Junmyeon was still quiet.
“Why didn’t you tell me if you were going somewhere...?”
Junmyeon dropped his gaze to his lap. “I…didn’t know it mattered to you.”
Yifan winced. Hearing those words from Junmyeon’s mouth hurt ten times even more. “As a matter of fact, it does. Well… Now that you know, will you please tell me? Next time...?”
Junmyeon looked hesitant but he nodded anyway. “Okay.”
“Promise me?”
Junmyeon stared at Yifan questioningly, but he didn’t do anything but to nod once again. “…I promise.”
“Good.”
But Yifan could only selfishly wish that there wouldn’t be next time.
Because dammit, Yifan was so freaking jealous at anyone who approached Junmyeon.
***
“So he went out with his high school friend without even telling me! I mean, didn’t it occur to him that it was important for him to tell me those kind of things?? What if that someone has feelings for him??”
“Oh.”
“And then his expressions!! His expressions!! Why did I get the feel that he didn’t feel guilty at all??”
“Hyung.”
“And who the hell is Baekhyun?? Is he really his high school friend?? What if he’s an ex or something and I just found out that this Baekhyun is trying really hard to get back into Junmyeon’s life-“
“Oh for the love of yehet, Hyung. Shut up!!”
“B-but I-”
“Stop it right there. STOP. Good. Now we’re talking. Man, I have to be honest, this is worse than I thought. Meeting you once to accidentally listen to your complaints is bad enough. And now you’re crossing the boundary to make a phone call to me. I think I’m gonna cry. I didn’t sign up for this.”
“I will tell Yixing that you accidentally kissed Zitao once because of his blond hair-“
“Dammit, Hyung! Why do you always threaten me with that? Grrhh. Fine. Let me think of something.”
“But it works all the time. Well, whatever it is, it better be quick...”
“Done. Has it ever occurred to you that, you know, since Junmyeon-hyung’s probably not the jealous type, then he won’t mind if you go out with anyone, including that secretary of yours.”
“…Jongdae?”
“Yeah. Jongdae.”
“Do you…think it’s about him?”
“Just sayin’. Besides, how should I know what’s it about? I’m not the one who dates Junmyeon-hyung. But, since I’m such a nice brother for you, how about I’m coming over for dinner tomorrow? Yixing might be able to find something out...you know they both like to cook. They can do that kitchen talk, whatever that is.”
“That...seems all right. Will Yixing be okay with that? Will you ask him?”
“Just as long as you promised you won’t tell Yixing anything.”
“I don’t have to.”
“Why?”
“He already found out anyway.”
***
Junmyeon didn’t look objected when Yifan told him Sehun and Yixing would come over for dinner. It was something they rarely did, but knowing Junmyeon, he would probably contact Zitao, his brother to join the small party.
Lately Junmyeon had been really quiet that it made Yifan worry to no end.
What was on his mind…? Did he actually hate it when Yifan snapped about Baekhyun the other night? What if his boyfriend had been considering the possibility of breaking up…?
Oh dear god please no.
Yifan couldn’t stop fidgeting the whole day since morning and crossed his fingers for whatever coming that evening. He really hoped Yixing would be able to find out even just a small piece of information, to be able to find out what was wrong with Junmyeon, and hopefully Yixing would tell Sehun, and Sehun had to tell him or else Yifan would disown him as a brother.
The Chinese male groaned in frustration.
If only it was easier to ask Junmyeon straightaway…but right now, it seemed to be the only solution and Yifan was willing to take the chance.
“Mr. Wu?”
Yifan inaudibly sighed at his secretary’s voice and leaned closer to his intercom. “Yes, Jongdae?”
“I’m just confirming, your appointment with Ms. Kim Yoona was canceled, right? The restaurant has just called me and the reservation is still on... Do you want to cancel it? It seems like a nice place...and to be honest I’ve never been there…”
Yifan felt like he knew what Jongdae meant, but he was probably mistaken. “Yeah, you may just cancel it…I have another appointment tonight.”
“Oh, I see…”
“But if you want, you can go with your friend. Go out and have some fun, you need a break too.”
There was a pause before Jongdae continued, “But I want to go there with you, Mr. Wu. If it’s not you…”
Yifan gaped in shock at his intercom. Did his secretary just-?? Or did he hear it wrong?
“It’s okay, I’ll just cancel it. Maybe next time.”
Yifan felt like he had just damaged his brain by thinking of something stupid. Sehun said (or was it just his own conclusion?) that Junmyeon might not be a jealous type, but it really could have something to do with Jongdae. Junmyeon was quiet, yes, but come to think of it…the beautiful male seemed a bit strange ever since Valentine’s day…ever since the incident with the chocolate…
Bring Jongdae home.
Yifan gulped.
Bring him home to dinner tonight, as a proof that you have nothing with him. That way, Junmyeon will realize that no one is more precious than him in your life. Just show Jongdae that Junmyeon is the one for you, and no other.
“Jongdae.”
“Yes, Mr. Wu?”
“Just-just cancel it. And make sure you’ve got no other appointment tonight. I’ll take you to the best restaurant in town.”
The happiness in Jongdae’s voice was clear, but Yifan shrugged it off.
He was more than determined to make things right.
***
More than two pairs of eyes turned to him the minute Yifan stepped into the apartment with Jongdae trailing behind him.
Jongdae’s voice was quiet loud throughout the room, asking Yifan where exactly this was and what plans did he have for him.
Sehun’s smile was instantly replaced by a death glare and Yifan didn’t think he had seen his brother that scary before. The corner of Yixing’s lips twitched and Zitao’s bitter expression didn’t change, while Junmyeon…
Junmyeon looked nonchalant.
Too nonchalant that it hurt.
“Guys, this is Jongdae…”
Jongdae grinned brightly and waved a hand to everyone. “Hi guys!!”
Yixing’s awkward chuckle was the only sound heard after that.
For once, Yifan thought it was good that Jongdae’s personality was (extremely) loud. While everyone else looked constipated in their seats, Jongdae couldn’t stop giggling and complimenting the food, happily stating that ‘Mr. Wu is right, this is the best restaurant in town!’, ignoring the fact (or he was just being too oblivious) that Yixing was the only one being kind to him. Sehun never stopped glowering at Yifan and Zitao looked like he might break the glass any minute. Apart from Yixing, the others just kind of played along to be nice to Jongdae, but not Junmyeon.
Junmyeon didn’t say a word even until everyone went home.
Sehun looked very angry that he only thanked Junmyeon for the nice meals before dragging Yixing outside. Zitao stayed a bit late to help his brother washing the dishes and he hugged Junmyeon briefly before going home like Yifan wasn’t even there.
And then it was just the two of them.
It killed Yifan that Junmyeon was refusing to look at him. Or was it because the smaller male had a lot of things to do, he didn’t know. Nonetheless, Yifan waited almost impatiently by the bed. He knew it seemed off to bring Jongdae home, but if his feeling was right-that Jongdae was actually hitting on him-then the latter would know that he had no intention to leave Junmyeon.
Because Junmyeon was his only one.
Yifan made a mental note to call Sehun the first thing in the morning, because he knew his brother was furious at him.
A sudden movement beside him jolted Yifan out of his thoughts. The Chinese male looked to his left only to find out that Junmyeon had already slipped underneath the blanket with his back facing Yifan. He extended a hand to reach for Junmyeon, but his boyfriend spoke first before he got the chance to.
“Your secretary…is really cute.”
Junmyeon’s words felt like an invisible slap to Yifan’s cheek.
“Goodnight, Yifan.”
There was a click sound when Junmyeon turned off the lamp by the nightstand and then everything went dark.
All of a sudden, Yifan didn’t know if his life was worth living anymore.
***
Junmyeon really didn’t love him.
Not a single ounce of feelings.
Not even slightly.
It was the only thing he could think about. Junmyeon had been saying that Jongdae was nice, and last night he said Jongdae was cute… What did it really mean?
Yifan wasn’t able to sleep last night. He kept on staring into the darkness, listening to pace of Junmyeon’s breathing, but he didn’t sleep. Yifan didn’t think his heart was whole anymore. It had broken to pieces, too many that Yifan didn’t know how to glue the pieces back.
Was everything a mistake…?
It seemed like he had done a very terrible mistake because even Sehun wouldn’t take his calls.
Yifan flinched in his seat when Jongdae’s cheerful voice echoed through the intercom.
“Mr. Wu, Ms. Victoria has just called and she said she is going to be here in an hour. Is there anything else you need?”
“No, Jongdae…that will be all. Thank you.”
“Mr. Wu?”
“Yes, Jongdae?”
“I just want to say once again that your boyfriend-Junmyeon-ssi, right?-is really beautiful. And he’s a great cook, too! Will you please tell him that I’m really grateful for the dinner the other night?”
“…sure.”
“Thank you, Mr. Wu!”
Yifan decided that he wasn’t really in the mood to hear Jongdae’s cheerful voice anymore. The Chinese male turned his intercom off and shut his eyes as he leaned against his chair.
It was just several hours since he left home, but he already missed Junmyeon badly.
***
Yifan was thinking of how to tell Junmyeon about what Jongdae had said-because Jongdae sounded really sincere about his words and it would be rude not to convey it-when he spotted the shorter male sitting by the dining table.
Junmyeon was probably waiting for him to come home to have dinner together, but the food on the table was only for one person.
Yifan eyed his boyfriend a bit suspiciously as he pried his shoes off.
“Have you eaten?” Junmyeon calmly asked and quickly earned a headshake as a reply. “Do you want me to reheat the food for you?”
“It’s fine. What about you?”
Junmyeon bit his lower lip. “I’ve… I’ve eaten.”
Yifan had a feeling he wouldn’t like what was coming. He then frowned in accusation. “Where have you been?”
Junmyeon’s voice was slightly shaking when he answered. “I’ve been out with a friend.”
It angered Yifan for no reason. The male felt his temper rising and his voice raised an octave. “You’ve been out-Junmyeon, didn’t I tell you that if you ever want to go out, please inform me first?? You promised me!!”
“I’m sorry, it was-“
“Who were you with this time?? Is it your high school friend again?? That Baekhyun??”
“Y-yes, but it was with Jinki-hyung-“
“Goddammit Junmyeon, who the fuck is that??”
It was the first time for Yifan to cuss and it seemed to have shocked Junmyeon terribly. The beautiful male’s eyes widened both in fear and surprise, but Yifan didn’t care anymore. He was hurt and it hurt even more to see Junmyeon like this.
“Why don’t you just leave, Junmyeon?” Yifan said darkly. “Isn’t that what you want? I think it’s a whole lot better than staying, but your heart is somewhere else. If you don’t love me anymore, just say it. I-you know what? To be honest, I never knew how you feel. All this time, I’m fed up with my own assumptions and I think it’s time for us to just end everything. It would be a lot better for me-for you. For us.”
A part of Yifan waited for Junmyeon to say something, anything, but even after he turned around and stepped slowly toward the door to leave, Junmyeon still said nothing. It crossed his mind to tell Junmyeon to just pack while he was gone, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it.
Junmyeon was completely engulfed in his own silence and Yifan…
…he was totally brokenhearted.
***
Sehun seemed to want to throw something at Yifan when the latter showed up at his apartment, but fortunately Yixing was there to prevent it from happening.
Yifan prepared himself to hear the never-ending speech from Sehun about how he should’ve behaved, but it never came. In fact, they let Yifan sat and mourned for the loss of his relationship all alone in the living room until the oldest of the three fell asleep.
When he jolted awake in the middle of the night, Yifan was a bit glad that Sehun and Yixing had decided to sleep with him in the living room (although he had a feeling that Yixing was the one who suggested the idea). The couple slept on the couch across him with Yixing’s head on Sehun’s lap. Yifan’s stomach growled, but he didn’t really want to eat. It still felt horrible after snapping at Junmyeon like that…
Yifan shifted in his seat, and it was then he realized that Sehun was awake. Their eyes met, and it was obvious that his younger brother was judging him.
“I know you’re angry at me, Sehunnie,” Yifan said as quiet as he could, not wanting to wake Yixing up. “But…I have my reasons.”
Sehun licked his lips.
“I just…I wanted Jongdae to know that I won’t be able to leave Junmyeon. Perhaps I was too blind at the fact-or I just didn’t want to admit that my secretary has a thing for me. And even though it got all of you to hate me, it worked.”
Yifan exhaled deeply.
“But…even if I did it to show that Junmyeon’s the only one for me…it doesn’t seem like I’m the only one for him. So I told him to leave.”
Yifan pressed his palm to his face desperately.
“I told him to leave…”
Neither of them said anything after that, but Yifan thought he heard a murmur from Sehun.
“You are the dumbest person I know.”
***
Yifan went straight to the office from Sehun’s apartment in the morning.
He was afraid to drop by at his own apartment first to change, because he didn’t think he would be able to face the fact that Junmyeon wasn’t there anymore-if Junmyeon wasn’t there anymore. The Chinese male ignored the look his colleagues sent him when they acknowledged him still in yesterday’s outfit and dashed into his office.
His secretary wasn’t there when Yifan walked by, but some time after he entered his room, Jongdae called out his name through the intercom.
“Mr. Wu?”
“Yes, Jongdae?” Yifan grunted in dismay as he checked his phone, half hoping, but there was nothing.
“Someone has called earlier this morning and he left a message, but…may I come in? I need to talk to you…”
Yifan trapped his tongue between his lips momentarily before shrugging. “Sure.”
The door swung open and whatever it was that Jongdae was about to say had gone to god-knew-where. The younger male’s jaw dropped and he seemed a bit speechless at Yifan’s clothes. “Uh…you really didn’t come home, Mr. Wu?”
“Something came up,” Yifan retorted with a dismissive wave of hand, hoping that Jongdae would probe no further. “What is it, Jongdae?”
Jongdae glanced down and played with his fingers for a while. “Mr. Wu… Today is my last day.”
Yifan was stunned. “What?”
Jongdae grinned sheepishly as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m quitting. I know that it’s not three months yet and Sunny-noona is still on maternity leave, but… I have bigger dreams than just to be a secretary, you know? And I don’t mean to insult you-don’t get me wrong, Mr. Wu, you’re really a great boss, but…but I feel unhappy working here. So…”
“Ah…” Yifan slowly came to realization. Jongdae quitting was one thing he didn’t expect, but…did it mean that he was able to show him that Junmyeon was the only one for him? YIfan pondered of what to say for a moment. “If that’s what you feel, then I guess you should follow what your heart says. And do everything you love.”
“Yes,” Jongdae smiled. “Just like Junmyeon-ssi. He must really love you and cooking so that he can make such delicious food for you. I envy him, to be honest.”
Yifan’s heart dropped at the mention of Junmyeon and he forced himself to smile. “Yes, but who knows, maybe cooking is the only thing he loves…”
“What are you talking about? He loves you, Mr. Wu.”
Those words stunned Yifan as he fixed his eyes on Jongdae. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Junmyeon…loved him? Wait, was Jongdae trolling because it was his last day here? But as Yifan examined, no, his secretary’s expression was serious.
“It must’ve happened whenever you’re not looking,” Jongdae said softly. “But that night, I caught him staring at you with this…indescribable emotion. If only you’ve seen the way he stared at you…and trust me, that’s love.” His expression dimmed slightly as he threw his gaze to the carpeted floor. “And I knew right away that I’ll never win, no matter what I do…”
“Do you…” Yifan paused in uncertainty. “Do you really think he loves me?”
Jongdae vigorously nodded, and his smile really made Yifan believe. “I think that’s all, Mr. Wu. I’m so sorry for the sudden notice, but Sunny-noona has arranged for another secretary for you. She’s really something, isn’t she? And please…don’t ever let Junmyeon-ssi go or you’ll be sorry for life. And thank you for everything, Mr. Wu.” Jongdae bowed ninety degree to Yifan and when he looked up, he looked cheerful as usual. “And please do inform me when you are getting married!!”
Jongdae hastily left the room before Yifan got the chance to say anything, but then the former barged in again and recklessly waved a crumpled piece of paper.
“Oh, I almost forgot! This is a message for you!”
Yifan took the piece of paper and his heart almost stopped beating at the message.
Come home, Yifan.
***
Yifan sped home in anxiety.
He didn’t even need to ask Jongdae from who the message was. His heart was beating so fast at the thought. Yifan was so full with hope that he wouldn’t know what to do if the apartment was empty when he got home.
Yifan almost couldn’t calm down when he reached his door. The male had to close his eyes as he inserted the key into the keyhole. Please… Yifan stepped into the room with a ragged breath, breathless from all the running from the parking lot.
It was quiet.
Nothing seemed to change.
The furniture, the decoration, the scent of the room…
Yifan weakly dropped his bag to the floor. Was anyone even home…? Yifan had the urge to check just how many shoes in the shoe rack, but…it was probably better to just walk quietly to the bedroom and check how many clothes left in the dresser…
A faint smell of soup lingered in the air, and Yifan felt like he was home.
Only that he was alone.
Yifan smiled bitterly to himself. What did he wish for? It was probably a wishful thinking… Why would Junmyeon still want to stay after everything that happened? And perhaps Jongdae was wrong about the message. All of his thoughts drained Yifan and he felt thirsty all of a sudden. He casually turned around to head to the kitchen…
…and his knees went weak at the sight of Junmyeon’s slender back in front of the stove.
Was it a dream?
Yifan’s whole body was trembling greatly that he couldn’t even lift up a hand to slap himself. Instead of doing so, he gathered his strength to take few giant steps forward and without thinking, pulling Junmyeon into a tight embrace-so tight that it might choke Junmyeon-from behind.
Junmyeon’s terrified gasp indicated just how fucking real he was. “Yifan? Wait, dinner-“
“Dinner later,” Yifan breathed against Junmyeon’s nape and the latter shuddered slightly in response. “I’m sorry, babe, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”
Yifan held Junmyeon’s lithe body so tight in his arms from behind and he swore he wouldn’t let him go no matter what happened. Junmyeon struggled weakly to free himself, but it did no good, Yifan was still stronger than him. He then gave up struggling and leaned back to Yifan, pressing their bodies together. Junmyeon brought his hands up to cover Yifan’s big ones and caressed the back of the latter’s hands with his thumbs. The Chinese male kept on enchanting he was sorry and he didn’t stop, even when Junmyeon’s shoulders shook, as a sign that he was crying.
Yifan felt his heart breaking upon hearing Junmyeon’s soft sobs.
But this time, he knew that he would never make him cry again for the rest of his life.
End.
Yifan silently watched Junmyeon as the latter cuddled against him.
He still couldn’t get over the fact that Junmyeon was here beside him. The male could’ve left, but he chose to stay… What did he do in the past life so that he deserved someone like Junmyeon?
Yifan was grateful that Junmyeon didn’t fight him at all when he took the initiative to strip the beautiful male. And dear god, it felt like heaven when he was able to taste Junmyeon’s lips again. And to be able to have him close…crying his name underneath him, Yifan couldn’t ask for more.
Junmyeon was all he ever needed.
Yifan ran his thumb on Junmyeon’s soft lips, and he instinctively smiled back when Junmyeon smiled shyly at him. They were still embraced in silence, but this time, it was comfortable.
Junmyeon trailed his fingers to Yifan’s. For a moment, Yifan didn’t care if all they did was staring at each other. Yifan would be able to look at Junmyeon’s beautiful face forever. They still had time to talk and perhaps, right now would be the perfect time to rest. However, Junmyeon didn’t seem to think the same because he spoke.
“Baekhyun is my close friend in high school.”
Yifan shifted slightly as he gazed down at Junmyeon. If it was a few days ago, he might’ve snapped upon hearing other person’s name, but not anymore. He felt like he could accept whatever explanation his boyfriend was about to say. Yifan nodded, encouraging Junmyeon to go on.
“He was in town for a meeting. I swear it was nothing like what you thought.” Junmyeon brought his palm to cover his mouth as he yawned. “And I was about to shop when Jinki-hyung called me. He was confused of what to buy for his anniversary and since I know his girlfriend, he thought I might have a good idea of what to give to her…” The beautiful male sighed sadly. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you…and to think that I promised you...”
“It’s okay, babe,” Yifan shook his head. “There are a lot of things I didn’t get to tell you, too. And if anything, it’s me who owe you countless apologize.”
“I forgive you, Yifan. I always forgive you because I know you didn’t mean to do those things on purpose. And I missed Valentine, gosh, how could I forget about that?” Junmyeon rubbed his temple in exasperation and glanced up at the taller male with a cute pout. “I’m sorry, I’m very bad at expressing myself…and to be honest, I was really jealous at your secretary…”
“You are?”
A nod. “He really is cute…”
“No one is going to beat you, Junmyeon,” Yifan sighed in relief and planted a chaste kiss on Junmyeon’s pink lips. “You should know that. And no matter how much I’m glad about finding out about your jealousy toward Jongdae, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for doubting you…but if I can be honest, I’m really happy to know that you actually love me…”
“I love you, Yifan. I really do.”
Yifan couldn’t bring himself to say anything else because his chest was so full like it was about to burst. He pulled Junmyeon closer to him and sighed in content.
Yifan might have made the mistake of letting Junmyeon go once.
But let it be that one time only.
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: Yifan is head over heels, but he isn’t sure if Junmyeon feels the same way.
[1]
Sehun frowned in confusion.
Yifan looked like he got something on his mind. The older male had his cell phone between his fingers, like he was about to make a call or something, but then he placed it on the table-which only lasted for two seconds because he snatched the phone back, obviously changing his mind. Yifan had been doing it for the last ten minutes and it got Sehun’s full attention from the book he was reading.
“Care to share what’s on your mind?”
Yifan looked up at Sehun, who only raised his brows in return. “Oh. Am I that obvious?”
Sehun pursed his lips, not sure if Yifan was joking or just being incredibly dense. “I’m just asking.”
“…Sehunnie?”
“Hm?”
“You know that feeling when you think he loves you but maybe he doesn’t, but you’re not one hundred percent sure, but you can’t bring yourself to ask, but you want to know what’s actually happening-“
“Whoa,” Sehun intercepted with a hand held up. “Too many buts, Hyung. What are you talking about?”
“I just-“ Yifan sighed in frustration as he sagged in his seat. “I don’t know.”
“It’s too late to back away now. Tell me, what’s wrong?”
Yifan finally shrugged in defeat after a few moments. “I don’t know. Maybe...maybe Junmyeon just doesn’t love me.”
Sehun blinked too many times before replying, “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Maybe Junmyeon doesn’t love me...”
“Yehet. You mean Junmyeon-hyung hates you?”
“That’s not what I-“ Yifan hung his head dejectedly, obviously scarred by what Sehun had just said. “Hate is such a strong word, but…yeah. Yeah, I think he does...”
Sehun narrowed his eyes to Yifan judgingly as he placed the book aside. “Did you do something wrong? What did you do?”
“Exactly! That’s what I think!”
Sehun grimaced. “...you don’t know.”
“...exactly.”
“Oh my god,” Sehun growled as he smacked his palm on his forehead. “You don’t know what’s wrong.”
“He won’t tell me,” Yifan said in exasperation. “Like I said, he won’t tell me, and I just can’t...ask.”
“You mean you haven’t asked him?”
“I…I don’t think I should…”
“Why? He’s your boyfriend, you have the right to ask.”
“I know, right,” Yifan sounded even more desperate, and now he was beginning to wonder why he bothered to tell Sehun in the first place. “But that’s what I don’t know, Sehun. He’s my boyfriend, yes, but it’s like he’s building a defensive wall and he’s not allowing me to break it apart...and plus his flat reactions when it comes to Jongdae-“
“Who’s Jongdae?”
“My new secretary. Anyway, Jongdae has been giving me gifts and Junmyeon looked…neutral. So freaking neutral. He even complimented Jongdae, for God’s sake! I mean, what kind of boyfriend compliments on his boyfriend’s new secretary? He’s supposed to at least feel jealous! Jongdae is a stranger in our lives! Unlike Sunny, Junmyeon has never met Jongdae before! And suddenly, he just-“
“What kind of boyfriend accepts gifts from his new secretary?” Sehun deadpanned and Yifan felt an invisible stab in his chest. The younger of the two quickly spoke again to beat whatever it was that Yifan was about to say. “I’m just gonna ignore that for now... Anyway, I’m not so sure if I like this Jongdae, but have you ever thought that…maybe Junmyeon-hyung isn’t the jealous type?”
Yifan fell silent immediately.
Sehun looked away thoughtfully as he casually rested his cheek on his fist. “You’ve been going out for how long again? And you’ve been living together since when again?”
Yifan let out a heavy sigh. “Maybe living together isn’t a guarantee that I will know him better...”
“Are you saying that you don’t know Junmyeon-hyung well even if you’re together?”
A part of Yifan wanted to say yes, but the other part told him not to answer. The male stayed silent. Now he really did wonder why he told Sehun..but it was too late for regret.
“Hyung,” Sehun started with a dangerous tone. “Remember that time when you were dying to make a move on Junmyeon, and you forced me to make friends with Junmyeon-hyung’s brother? Man, Zitao was such a hard person to approach. All that sacrifices...all that hard work…all the things I’ve done… I could still remember those days like they were yesterday.”
Yifan nodded dumbly, not understanding why Sehun brought it up. “Yeah...why?”
Sehun leaned closer with a serious, deadly look. “Just a friendly reminder that I fucking approached Zitao for you, Hyung. It took me every effort-because I love you so damn much-but fortunately Zitao was worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to have met Zitao, we’re bff now. But that’s not the point.”
“So…”
“The point is, I will kill you if all of my efforts are wasted for nothing. And so, you better talk to your boyfriend and make things right.”
Yifan swallowed thickly.
***
On his way home, Yifan had been thinking of a way to approach Junmyeon.
Hopefully Junmyeon was in a good mood. Hopefully he would be able to start talking in a good way and hopefully, Junmyeon would be willing to listen.
Yifan was about to call out Junmyeon’s name when he saw his boyfriend was sleeping on the couch.
He knew that Sehun urged him to talk and make things right-preferably right away-but the view of Junmyeon sleeping soundly made him think that it was not important right then. Yifan carefully sat at the edge of the couch and extended a hand to caress Junmyeon’s hair, liking how his heart beat every time he touched a part of Junmyeon.
God…
I love you so damn much, Kim Junmyeon.
Yifan stopped moving when Junmyeon stirred lightly in his sleep. Please don’t wake up. Unfortunately, his wish wasn’t granted. The next second, a pair of beautiful eyes were gazing right into his and Yifan broke into an apologetic smile.
“Hi. I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”
“You’re home,” Junmyeon mumbled sleepily, still too dazed to move. The male’s eyes widened the next second when he realized what he had just said. “Oh my god, you’re home! I’m sorry I fell asleep! I haven’t cooked anything for dinner yet-“
“Hey, it’s okay,” Yifan shook his head as he grabbed Junmyeon’s arm, preventing the latter from standing up up. “We can eat outside. You don’t have to cook.”
“But…eating outside would be unhealthy...”
“We’ll just order salad, then. Besides, it’s been a while since we go out…”
“But…I already ate outside today...”
Yifan held his breath. “You what?”
Junmyeon rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I ate with a friend today. I think I had too much meat... I think it would be better if I just cook something light for us…”
“You...went out?”
“Yeah...”
“With who?”
Junmyeon halted his movement upon hearing Yifan’s tone. He slowly lowered his hand, gazing blankly at Yifan. “...a friend.”
“Well, does this friend have a name or not?” Yifan asked impatiently.
Junmyeon pressed his lips into a line. “His name is Baekhyun.”
“Who is Baekhyun?”
“He’s my high school friend.”
“Your high school friend??”
Junmyeon’s expression changed and it was then Yifan realized he was being a bit harsh. Yifan gritted his teeth as he looked away, not liking the uncanny feeling that bubbled within his chest. He inwardly told himself that it wasn’t jealousy. No, it wasn’t jealousy.
Crap, it’s jealousy.
Yifan needed more than just a few minutes to be able to hide his emotions. The whole time, neither of them moved from their spots. Junmyeon said nothing but to quietly observe him and it somehow hurt Yifan. It hurt Yifan...because Junmyeon didn’t do anything to make him feel better.
Why don’t you say something, Junmyeon...?
Yifan forced himself to smile, even though he was certain Junmyeon would be able to see right through that it wasn’t sincere. “I’m sorry.”
Junmyeon was still quiet.
“Why didn’t you tell me if you were going somewhere...?”
Junmyeon dropped his gaze to his lap. “I…didn’t know it mattered to you.”
Yifan winced. Hearing those words from Junmyeon’s mouth hurt ten times even more. “As a matter of fact, it does. Well… Now that you know, will you please tell me? Next time...?”
Junmyeon looked hesitant but he nodded anyway. “Okay.”
“Promise me?”
Junmyeon stared at Yifan questioningly, but he didn’t do anything but to nod once again. “…I promise.”
“Good.”
But Yifan could only selfishly wish that there wouldn’t be next time.
Because dammit, Yifan was so freaking jealous at anyone who approached Junmyeon.
***
“So he went out with his high school friend without even telling me! I mean, didn’t it occur to him that it was important for him to tell me those kind of things?? What if that someone has feelings for him??”
“Oh.”
“And then his expressions!! His expressions!! Why did I get the feel that he didn’t feel guilty at all??”
“Hyung.”
“And who the hell is Baekhyun?? Is he really his high school friend?? What if he’s an ex or something and I just found out that this Baekhyun is trying really hard to get back into Junmyeon’s life-“
“Oh for the love of yehet, Hyung. Shut up!!”
“B-but I-”
“Stop it right there. STOP. Good. Now we’re talking. Man, I have to be honest, this is worse than I thought. Meeting you once to accidentally listen to your complaints is bad enough. And now you’re crossing the boundary to make a phone call to me. I think I’m gonna cry. I didn’t sign up for this.”
“I will tell Yixing that you accidentally kissed Zitao once because of his blond hair-“
“Dammit, Hyung! Why do you always threaten me with that? Grrhh. Fine. Let me think of something.”
“But it works all the time. Well, whatever it is, it better be quick...”
“Done. Has it ever occurred to you that, you know, since Junmyeon-hyung’s probably not the jealous type, then he won’t mind if you go out with anyone, including that secretary of yours.”
“…Jongdae?”
“Yeah. Jongdae.”
“Do you…think it’s about him?”
“Just sayin’. Besides, how should I know what’s it about? I’m not the one who dates Junmyeon-hyung. But, since I’m such a nice brother for you, how about I’m coming over for dinner tomorrow? Yixing might be able to find something out...you know they both like to cook. They can do that kitchen talk, whatever that is.”
“That...seems all right. Will Yixing be okay with that? Will you ask him?”
“Just as long as you promised you won’t tell Yixing anything.”
“I don’t have to.”
“Why?”
“He already found out anyway.”
***
Junmyeon didn’t look objected when Yifan told him Sehun and Yixing would come over for dinner. It was something they rarely did, but knowing Junmyeon, he would probably contact Zitao, his brother to join the small party.
Lately Junmyeon had been really quiet that it made Yifan worry to no end.
What was on his mind…? Did he actually hate it when Yifan snapped about Baekhyun the other night? What if his boyfriend had been considering the possibility of breaking up…?
Oh dear god please no.
Yifan couldn’t stop fidgeting the whole day since morning and crossed his fingers for whatever coming that evening. He really hoped Yixing would be able to find out even just a small piece of information, to be able to find out what was wrong with Junmyeon, and hopefully Yixing would tell Sehun, and Sehun had to tell him or else Yifan would disown him as a brother.
The Chinese male groaned in frustration.
If only it was easier to ask Junmyeon straightaway…but right now, it seemed to be the only solution and Yifan was willing to take the chance.
“Mr. Wu?”
Yifan inaudibly sighed at his secretary’s voice and leaned closer to his intercom. “Yes, Jongdae?”
“I’m just confirming, your appointment with Ms. Kim Yoona was canceled, right? The restaurant has just called me and the reservation is still on... Do you want to cancel it? It seems like a nice place...and to be honest I’ve never been there…”
Yifan felt like he knew what Jongdae meant, but he was probably mistaken. “Yeah, you may just cancel it…I have another appointment tonight.”
“Oh, I see…”
“But if you want, you can go with your friend. Go out and have some fun, you need a break too.”
There was a pause before Jongdae continued, “But I want to go there with you, Mr. Wu. If it’s not you…”
Yifan gaped in shock at his intercom. Did his secretary just-?? Or did he hear it wrong?
“It’s okay, I’ll just cancel it. Maybe next time.”
Yifan felt like he had just damaged his brain by thinking of something stupid. Sehun said (or was it just his own conclusion?) that Junmyeon might not be a jealous type, but it really could have something to do with Jongdae. Junmyeon was quiet, yes, but come to think of it…the beautiful male seemed a bit strange ever since Valentine’s day…ever since the incident with the chocolate…
Bring Jongdae home.
Yifan gulped.
Bring him home to dinner tonight, as a proof that you have nothing with him. That way, Junmyeon will realize that no one is more precious than him in your life. Just show Jongdae that Junmyeon is the one for you, and no other.
“Jongdae.”
“Yes, Mr. Wu?”
“Just-just cancel it. And make sure you’ve got no other appointment tonight. I’ll take you to the best restaurant in town.”
The happiness in Jongdae’s voice was clear, but Yifan shrugged it off.
He was more than determined to make things right.
***
More than two pairs of eyes turned to him the minute Yifan stepped into the apartment with Jongdae trailing behind him.
Jongdae’s voice was quiet loud throughout the room, asking Yifan where exactly this was and what plans did he have for him.
Sehun’s smile was instantly replaced by a death glare and Yifan didn’t think he had seen his brother that scary before. The corner of Yixing’s lips twitched and Zitao’s bitter expression didn’t change, while Junmyeon…
Junmyeon looked nonchalant.
Too nonchalant that it hurt.
“Guys, this is Jongdae…”
Jongdae grinned brightly and waved a hand to everyone. “Hi guys!!”
Yixing’s awkward chuckle was the only sound heard after that.
For once, Yifan thought it was good that Jongdae’s personality was (extremely) loud. While everyone else looked constipated in their seats, Jongdae couldn’t stop giggling and complimenting the food, happily stating that ‘Mr. Wu is right, this is the best restaurant in town!’, ignoring the fact (or he was just being too oblivious) that Yixing was the only one being kind to him. Sehun never stopped glowering at Yifan and Zitao looked like he might break the glass any minute. Apart from Yixing, the others just kind of played along to be nice to Jongdae, but not Junmyeon.
Junmyeon didn’t say a word even until everyone went home.
Sehun looked very angry that he only thanked Junmyeon for the nice meals before dragging Yixing outside. Zitao stayed a bit late to help his brother washing the dishes and he hugged Junmyeon briefly before going home like Yifan wasn’t even there.
And then it was just the two of them.
It killed Yifan that Junmyeon was refusing to look at him. Or was it because the smaller male had a lot of things to do, he didn’t know. Nonetheless, Yifan waited almost impatiently by the bed. He knew it seemed off to bring Jongdae home, but if his feeling was right-that Jongdae was actually hitting on him-then the latter would know that he had no intention to leave Junmyeon.
Because Junmyeon was his only one.
Yifan made a mental note to call Sehun the first thing in the morning, because he knew his brother was furious at him.
A sudden movement beside him jolted Yifan out of his thoughts. The Chinese male looked to his left only to find out that Junmyeon had already slipped underneath the blanket with his back facing Yifan. He extended a hand to reach for Junmyeon, but his boyfriend spoke first before he got the chance to.
“Your secretary…is really cute.”
Junmyeon’s words felt like an invisible slap to Yifan’s cheek.
“Goodnight, Yifan.”
There was a click sound when Junmyeon turned off the lamp by the nightstand and then everything went dark.
All of a sudden, Yifan didn’t know if his life was worth living anymore.
***
Junmyeon really didn’t love him.
Not a single ounce of feelings.
Not even slightly.
It was the only thing he could think about. Junmyeon had been saying that Jongdae was nice, and last night he said Jongdae was cute… What did it really mean?
Yifan wasn’t able to sleep last night. He kept on staring into the darkness, listening to pace of Junmyeon’s breathing, but he didn’t sleep. Yifan didn’t think his heart was whole anymore. It had broken to pieces, too many that Yifan didn’t know how to glue the pieces back.
Was everything a mistake…?
It seemed like he had done a very terrible mistake because even Sehun wouldn’t take his calls.
Yifan flinched in his seat when Jongdae’s cheerful voice echoed through the intercom.
“Mr. Wu, Ms. Victoria has just called and she said she is going to be here in an hour. Is there anything else you need?”
“No, Jongdae…that will be all. Thank you.”
“Mr. Wu?”
“Yes, Jongdae?”
“I just want to say once again that your boyfriend-Junmyeon-ssi, right?-is really beautiful. And he’s a great cook, too! Will you please tell him that I’m really grateful for the dinner the other night?”
“…sure.”
“Thank you, Mr. Wu!”
Yifan decided that he wasn’t really in the mood to hear Jongdae’s cheerful voice anymore. The Chinese male turned his intercom off and shut his eyes as he leaned against his chair.
It was just several hours since he left home, but he already missed Junmyeon badly.
***
Yifan was thinking of how to tell Junmyeon about what Jongdae had said-because Jongdae sounded really sincere about his words and it would be rude not to convey it-when he spotted the shorter male sitting by the dining table.
Junmyeon was probably waiting for him to come home to have dinner together, but the food on the table was only for one person.
Yifan eyed his boyfriend a bit suspiciously as he pried his shoes off.
“Have you eaten?” Junmyeon calmly asked and quickly earned a headshake as a reply. “Do you want me to reheat the food for you?”
“It’s fine. What about you?”
Junmyeon bit his lower lip. “I’ve… I’ve eaten.”
Yifan had a feeling he wouldn’t like what was coming. He then frowned in accusation. “Where have you been?”
Junmyeon’s voice was slightly shaking when he answered. “I’ve been out with a friend.”
It angered Yifan for no reason. The male felt his temper rising and his voice raised an octave. “You’ve been out-Junmyeon, didn’t I tell you that if you ever want to go out, please inform me first?? You promised me!!”
“I’m sorry, it was-“
“Who were you with this time?? Is it your high school friend again?? That Baekhyun??”
“Y-yes, but it was with Jinki-hyung-“
“Goddammit Junmyeon, who the fuck is that??”
It was the first time for Yifan to cuss and it seemed to have shocked Junmyeon terribly. The beautiful male’s eyes widened both in fear and surprise, but Yifan didn’t care anymore. He was hurt and it hurt even more to see Junmyeon like this.
“Why don’t you just leave, Junmyeon?” Yifan said darkly. “Isn’t that what you want? I think it’s a whole lot better than staying, but your heart is somewhere else. If you don’t love me anymore, just say it. I-you know what? To be honest, I never knew how you feel. All this time, I’m fed up with my own assumptions and I think it’s time for us to just end everything. It would be a lot better for me-for you. For us.”
A part of Yifan waited for Junmyeon to say something, anything, but even after he turned around and stepped slowly toward the door to leave, Junmyeon still said nothing. It crossed his mind to tell Junmyeon to just pack while he was gone, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it.
Junmyeon was completely engulfed in his own silence and Yifan…
…he was totally brokenhearted.
***
Sehun seemed to want to throw something at Yifan when the latter showed up at his apartment, but fortunately Yixing was there to prevent it from happening.
Yifan prepared himself to hear the never-ending speech from Sehun about how he should’ve behaved, but it never came. In fact, they let Yifan sat and mourned for the loss of his relationship all alone in the living room until the oldest of the three fell asleep.
When he jolted awake in the middle of the night, Yifan was a bit glad that Sehun and Yixing had decided to sleep with him in the living room (although he had a feeling that Yixing was the one who suggested the idea). The couple slept on the couch across him with Yixing’s head on Sehun’s lap. Yifan’s stomach growled, but he didn’t really want to eat. It still felt horrible after snapping at Junmyeon like that…
Yifan shifted in his seat, and it was then he realized that Sehun was awake. Their eyes met, and it was obvious that his younger brother was judging him.
“I know you’re angry at me, Sehunnie,” Yifan said as quiet as he could, not wanting to wake Yixing up. “But…I have my reasons.”
Sehun licked his lips.
“I just…I wanted Jongdae to know that I won’t be able to leave Junmyeon. Perhaps I was too blind at the fact-or I just didn’t want to admit that my secretary has a thing for me. And even though it got all of you to hate me, it worked.”
Yifan exhaled deeply.
“But…even if I did it to show that Junmyeon’s the only one for me…it doesn’t seem like I’m the only one for him. So I told him to leave.”
Yifan pressed his palm to his face desperately.
“I told him to leave…”
Neither of them said anything after that, but Yifan thought he heard a murmur from Sehun.
“You are the dumbest person I know.”
***
Yifan went straight to the office from Sehun’s apartment in the morning.
He was afraid to drop by at his own apartment first to change, because he didn’t think he would be able to face the fact that Junmyeon wasn’t there anymore-if Junmyeon wasn’t there anymore. The Chinese male ignored the look his colleagues sent him when they acknowledged him still in yesterday’s outfit and dashed into his office.
His secretary wasn’t there when Yifan walked by, but some time after he entered his room, Jongdae called out his name through the intercom.
“Mr. Wu?”
“Yes, Jongdae?” Yifan grunted in dismay as he checked his phone, half hoping, but there was nothing.
“Someone has called earlier this morning and he left a message, but…may I come in? I need to talk to you…”
Yifan trapped his tongue between his lips momentarily before shrugging. “Sure.”
The door swung open and whatever it was that Jongdae was about to say had gone to god-knew-where. The younger male’s jaw dropped and he seemed a bit speechless at Yifan’s clothes. “Uh…you really didn’t come home, Mr. Wu?”
“Something came up,” Yifan retorted with a dismissive wave of hand, hoping that Jongdae would probe no further. “What is it, Jongdae?”
Jongdae glanced down and played with his fingers for a while. “Mr. Wu… Today is my last day.”
Yifan was stunned. “What?”
Jongdae grinned sheepishly as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m quitting. I know that it’s not three months yet and Sunny-noona is still on maternity leave, but… I have bigger dreams than just to be a secretary, you know? And I don’t mean to insult you-don’t get me wrong, Mr. Wu, you’re really a great boss, but…but I feel unhappy working here. So…”
“Ah…” Yifan slowly came to realization. Jongdae quitting was one thing he didn’t expect, but…did it mean that he was able to show him that Junmyeon was the only one for him? YIfan pondered of what to say for a moment. “If that’s what you feel, then I guess you should follow what your heart says. And do everything you love.”
“Yes,” Jongdae smiled. “Just like Junmyeon-ssi. He must really love you and cooking so that he can make such delicious food for you. I envy him, to be honest.”
Yifan’s heart dropped at the mention of Junmyeon and he forced himself to smile. “Yes, but who knows, maybe cooking is the only thing he loves…”
“What are you talking about? He loves you, Mr. Wu.”
Those words stunned Yifan as he fixed his eyes on Jongdae. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Junmyeon…loved him? Wait, was Jongdae trolling because it was his last day here? But as Yifan examined, no, his secretary’s expression was serious.
“It must’ve happened whenever you’re not looking,” Jongdae said softly. “But that night, I caught him staring at you with this…indescribable emotion. If only you’ve seen the way he stared at you…and trust me, that’s love.” His expression dimmed slightly as he threw his gaze to the carpeted floor. “And I knew right away that I’ll never win, no matter what I do…”
“Do you…” Yifan paused in uncertainty. “Do you really think he loves me?”
Jongdae vigorously nodded, and his smile really made Yifan believe. “I think that’s all, Mr. Wu. I’m so sorry for the sudden notice, but Sunny-noona has arranged for another secretary for you. She’s really something, isn’t she? And please…don’t ever let Junmyeon-ssi go or you’ll be sorry for life. And thank you for everything, Mr. Wu.” Jongdae bowed ninety degree to Yifan and when he looked up, he looked cheerful as usual. “And please do inform me when you are getting married!!”
Jongdae hastily left the room before Yifan got the chance to say anything, but then the former barged in again and recklessly waved a crumpled piece of paper.
“Oh, I almost forgot! This is a message for you!”
Yifan took the piece of paper and his heart almost stopped beating at the message.
Come home, Yifan.
***
Yifan sped home in anxiety.
He didn’t even need to ask Jongdae from who the message was. His heart was beating so fast at the thought. Yifan was so full with hope that he wouldn’t know what to do if the apartment was empty when he got home.
Yifan almost couldn’t calm down when he reached his door. The male had to close his eyes as he inserted the key into the keyhole. Please… Yifan stepped into the room with a ragged breath, breathless from all the running from the parking lot.
It was quiet.
Nothing seemed to change.
The furniture, the decoration, the scent of the room…
Yifan weakly dropped his bag to the floor. Was anyone even home…? Yifan had the urge to check just how many shoes in the shoe rack, but…it was probably better to just walk quietly to the bedroom and check how many clothes left in the dresser…
A faint smell of soup lingered in the air, and Yifan felt like he was home.
Only that he was alone.
Yifan smiled bitterly to himself. What did he wish for? It was probably a wishful thinking… Why would Junmyeon still want to stay after everything that happened? And perhaps Jongdae was wrong about the message. All of his thoughts drained Yifan and he felt thirsty all of a sudden. He casually turned around to head to the kitchen…
…and his knees went weak at the sight of Junmyeon’s slender back in front of the stove.
Was it a dream?
Yifan’s whole body was trembling greatly that he couldn’t even lift up a hand to slap himself. Instead of doing so, he gathered his strength to take few giant steps forward and without thinking, pulling Junmyeon into a tight embrace-so tight that it might choke Junmyeon-from behind.
Junmyeon’s terrified gasp indicated just how fucking real he was. “Yifan? Wait, dinner-“
“Dinner later,” Yifan breathed against Junmyeon’s nape and the latter shuddered slightly in response. “I’m sorry, babe, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”
Yifan held Junmyeon’s lithe body so tight in his arms from behind and he swore he wouldn’t let him go no matter what happened. Junmyeon struggled weakly to free himself, but it did no good, Yifan was still stronger than him. He then gave up struggling and leaned back to Yifan, pressing their bodies together. Junmyeon brought his hands up to cover Yifan’s big ones and caressed the back of the latter’s hands with his thumbs. The Chinese male kept on enchanting he was sorry and he didn’t stop, even when Junmyeon’s shoulders shook, as a sign that he was crying.
Yifan felt his heart breaking upon hearing Junmyeon’s soft sobs.
But this time, he knew that he would never make him cry again for the rest of his life.
End.
Yifan silently watched Junmyeon as the latter cuddled against him.
He still couldn’t get over the fact that Junmyeon was here beside him. The male could’ve left, but he chose to stay… What did he do in the past life so that he deserved someone like Junmyeon?
Yifan was grateful that Junmyeon didn’t fight him at all when he took the initiative to strip the beautiful male. And dear god, it felt like heaven when he was able to taste Junmyeon’s lips again. And to be able to have him close…crying his name underneath him, Yifan couldn’t ask for more.
Junmyeon was all he ever needed.
Yifan ran his thumb on Junmyeon’s soft lips, and he instinctively smiled back when Junmyeon smiled shyly at him. They were still embraced in silence, but this time, it was comfortable.
Junmyeon trailed his fingers to Yifan’s. For a moment, Yifan didn’t care if all they did was staring at each other. Yifan would be able to look at Junmyeon’s beautiful face forever. They still had time to talk and perhaps, right now would be the perfect time to rest. However, Junmyeon didn’t seem to think the same because he spoke.
“Baekhyun is my close friend in high school.”
Yifan shifted slightly as he gazed down at Junmyeon. If it was a few days ago, he might’ve snapped upon hearing other person’s name, but not anymore. He felt like he could accept whatever explanation his boyfriend was about to say. Yifan nodded, encouraging Junmyeon to go on.
“He was in town for a meeting. I swear it was nothing like what you thought.” Junmyeon brought his palm to cover his mouth as he yawned. “And I was about to shop when Jinki-hyung called me. He was confused of what to buy for his anniversary and since I know his girlfriend, he thought I might have a good idea of what to give to her…” The beautiful male sighed sadly. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you…and to think that I promised you...”
“It’s okay, babe,” Yifan shook his head. “There are a lot of things I didn’t get to tell you, too. And if anything, it’s me who owe you countless apologize.”
“I forgive you, Yifan. I always forgive you because I know you didn’t mean to do those things on purpose. And I missed Valentine, gosh, how could I forget about that?” Junmyeon rubbed his temple in exasperation and glanced up at the taller male with a cute pout. “I’m sorry, I’m very bad at expressing myself…and to be honest, I was really jealous at your secretary…”
“You are?”
A nod. “He really is cute…”
“No one is going to beat you, Junmyeon,” Yifan sighed in relief and planted a chaste kiss on Junmyeon’s pink lips. “You should know that. And no matter how much I’m glad about finding out about your jealousy toward Jongdae, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for doubting you…but if I can be honest, I’m really happy to know that you actually love me…”
“I love you, Yifan. I really do.”
Yifan couldn’t bring himself to say anything else because his chest was so full like it was about to burst. He pulled Junmyeon closer to him and sighed in content.
Yifan might have made the mistake of letting Junmyeon go once.
But let it be that one time only.