Lose Myself [2/2]
Title: Lose Myself [2/2]
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: If Junmyeon was to lose himself, it would be by Yifan’s side.
[1]
Junmyeon never went back to the hospital to see Hongbin after that.
Jongin sulked at him because apparently, Junmyeon wasn’t home when he said he would be. But Jongin would never be able to stay angry at his beautiful brother. It all vanished when Junmyeon knocked on Jongin’s door, telling him that dinner was ready.
His parents were waiting for Junmyeon on the next morning so that they could go to the hospital together, but the young male turned down the offer politely. His mother sent him a flabbergasted stare, one that was also linked with silent protest because it was important for them to be there for Hongbin. But Junmyeon was stubborn about his decision. He told his family that he wasn’t feeling so well, and going to the hospital would only make his condition worse...
Besides, Yifan had promised him.
And somehow, Junmyeon knew that Yifan wouldn’t let him down.
If he said Hongbin’s leg would heal quickly, then it was the truth.
Yifan.
Junmyeon’s heart ached at the thought of the handsome doctor. His parents had left after telling him to rest and he took the opportunity to bury himself underneath his blanket. Junmyeon’s lower part hurt a bit...but it was nothing compared to the happiness he felt last night.
Can I kiss you?
Junmyeon whimpered as he pulled the blanket over his head.
Why did I let him...?
But Yifan was being so gentle to him. His kisses, his touch, his words...
The kiss started everything.
Junmyeon didn’t know how long they had been kissing last night. All he knew was that his heart skipped a beat-too many beats, in fact, and he thought he was about to die-at the taste of Yifan’s tongue on his. They were kissing for so long that Junmyeon remembered whining internally, wanting to complain that his jaw was actually tired.
But it was all worth the pleasure.
Junmyeon felt comfortable with the way Yifan pressed against him, and-
“Hyung?”
Junmyeon didn’t think he was ready when someone pulled his blanket away. The male covered his face as a reaction to the sudden light, and at the same time still feeling embarrassed for getting caught in the middle of fantasizing-wait. What? No, he did not fantasize!
“Your face is red,” Jongin frowned as he sat on the edge of the bed. Junmyeon couldn’t help but think that his brother seemed to frown a lot lately.
“Are you sick?”
“I just feel a bit dizzy...” Junmyeon replied quietly. “You’re still here? I thought you were coming with Appa and Umma to the hospital...”
“I’m going if you’re going. But,” Jongin paused as he examined Junmyeon’s face briefly. “Umma said you’re not feeling well. And resting seems to be the best option for you now. I do hope the surgery’s going well, though. Let’s just pray?”
“Hongbin’s going to be fine.”
Jongin blinked. He had his gaze on Junmyeon, but the older of the two had his eyes somewhere else. Unconsciously, he continued to stare at his brother, and something within Jongin told him that it was probably the first time in a while since Junmyeon had that kind of face.
“I hope so too.”
“I’m sure.”
“...why?”
Junmyeon’s expression changed and Jongin merely held his breath.
His brother was so damn sure.
“Because his doctor is the best in the hospital...”
***
A week had passed since then.
Junmyeon didn’t go to see Hongbin even after the latter got out of the hospital.
Hongbin had been trying to contact him for days, but Junmyeon didn’t feel like responding. He dismissed the thought that he was being cruel, but...it would be even crueler if he acted like it didn’t bother him. Sometimes Hongbin didn’t give up and usually it ended with Junmyeon (finally) replying with a simple text saying that he was busy or that he couldn’t be reached at the moment.
Besides, Hongbin still needed to rest...
From Jongin and his father, Junmyeon found out that the surgery went very well. Doctor Wu-Yifan-informed the whole family that Hongbin’s leg would heal soon and that he was going to be able to walk again.
Junmyeon couldn’t help but feel proud at that.
Of course.
Because Yifan was the best.
“Are you avoiding Hongbin-hyung?”
Junmyeon froze.
He must’ve been spacing out that he didn’t realize anyone was there in his bedroom.
Jongin looked at him solemnly, and it was then Junmyeon realized his (rebellious) young brother had dyed his hair blond. Again. It suit him, though. Junmyeon absently wondered if such bright color suit him...
“What makes you think like that?”
“Because he’s calling and you just threw your phone aside.”
Junmyeon gasped as he followed Jongin’s line of the sight, because the latter was right, he did throw his phone aside when it vibrated. It must’ve been reflex when he saw Hongbin’s name on the screen, but he certainly didn’t realize Jongin was near.
Jongin took the liberty to snatch the poor phone and offered it to Junmyeon. Fortunately, the moment the device was given to him, it stopped vibrating. Junmyeon reluctantly accepted his phone and smiled sheepishly at Jongin.
“It’s...dead.”
“Aren’t you going to call him?”
“Um. Okay.”
“Like now?”
Junmyeon gulped nervously. He nodded, but he made no move to call Hongbin back.
I don’t want to...
Jongin exhaled loudly. He gently detached the phone from Junmyeon’s palm and placed it on the empty spot beside him. Jongin took a second to breathe before asking,
“Is everything okay?”
Junmyeon forced himself to smile. “Yeah...why is it not?”
“Because it’s been a week.”
Junmyeon flinched.
Jongin pursed his lips. “It’s been a week and you’ve been...reluctant to meet Hongbin-hyung.”
Junmyeon was supposed to retort that no, Jongin was wrong and that he wasn’t reluctant. He was just giving Hongbin some space after the surgery... But who did Junmyeon fool? Even the smallest part of his heart knew that yes, he had been avoiding Hongbin.
But...
“I understand...” Junmyeon said softly. “I’ll call him back soon.”
“That’s not what I-“
“It’s okay. It’s the rightest thing to do.”
Jongin didn’t reply anymore after that.
Junmyeon then patted his brother’s head caringly. Eventually, he knew he wouldn’t have the heart to completely ignore Hongbin. If Hongbin’s injury had healed...it might be just a matter of time until their parents talked about their (arranged) marriage, again. Junmyeon did his best not to feel the huge pang within his chest as he thought about it.
But why does it hurt so bad...?
***
“Junmyeon?”
“H-hi. Um, how’s your leg...?”
“Hi. It’s...great. I mean, I’m not allowed to run just yet, but...it’s progressing. It’s healing.”
“That’s good to hear. I’m...glad. You should be more careful next time...”
“Yeah...I will. What about you? Are you feeling any better?”
“Hm? Me?”
“Yeah. Your parents told me that you weren’t well the other day...and you didn’t pick up my calls, so I just thought...”
“Ah. Yes. I’m better. I’m good... Sorry for ditching your calls, though. You just happened to catch me at the wrong times...”
“I guess. But you know, I’m really happy that you call me back. I...kinda have a favor to ask at the moment. If it’s alright with you...?”
“...what is it?”
“I was wondering if you’re free for tomorrow?”
“T-tomorrow?”
“Yeah. I have one final check-up, and then it’s done. Doctor Wu told me that it would’ve been better if I come with someone... I could come with my parents, but...it’s been a while since we saw each other... I wanted you to come with me. If you don’t mind, of course.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...Junmyeon?”
“Y-yes?”
“Did you hear what I ask you?”
“Uh. Yes...”
“Oh. Are you busy tomorrow? It’s okay if you can’t make it...”
“I...I can. I’m not busy. It’s just that I’m not really fond of hospitals... Can I...can I just wait outside while you’re having that final check...?”
“...you’re willing to come with me? For real? Then yes! Of course you can wait outside. Then I’ll pick you up in the morning? Is nine okay? The appointment with Doctor Wu’s at ten, but we can grab ourselves some nice breakfast first! Crap, sorry I’m rambling. Until tomorrow then, Junmyeon. See you.”
“...see you, Hongbin...”
***
Junmyeon didn’t know why he said yes yesterday.
When Hongbin asked him if he would go with him to see Doctor Wu, his heart almost stopped beating.
What kind of question was that? Of course he didn’t want to. Despite the fact that the doctor was the best in the hospital, what he did toward Junmyeon was actually unforgivable. Threatening him...touching him...kissing him... Heck, if Junmyeon was serious about what happened, he could sue Yifan for blackmailing. But he was so damn kind-hearted so he chose not to. Rejection was already at the tip of his tongue, but Hongbin’s tone was laced with longing that it got him to say yes.
Junmyeon was a bit amazed at how fast Hongbin’s leg healed. It could be from Hongbin himself, but surely there was the effort from Yifan. At the thought of this, Junmyeon pouted. Okay, so he was a bit confused about whether he should loath Yifan or he should feel grateful instead.
Stupid doctor.
Hongbin left with a simple smile and a playful ‘Don’t go anywhere’ before entering the room and Junmyeon almost ran away the minute Hongbin disappeared.
Don’t be panic. Calm down. Yifan is inside. You won’t meet him.
But there was a possibility that Yifan would step outside as soon as Hongbin’s final check-up was done. Junmyeon didn’t want it to happen, so he (kind of) rushed to the backdoor. If he wasn’t there when Hongbin was done, the latter could always call him...
Just when Junmyeon thought he was finally safe, a deep voice called out his name.
“Junmyeon.”
A cold shiver went down his spine because he remembered exactly who the owner of the voice was. Junmyeon craned his neck to the source of the voice and he immediately went pale at the person before him.
Wu Yifan.
“D-Doctor?”
Yifan smirked. “Didn’t I tell you to just call me Yifan? Did I? Did I not?”
Junmyeon ignored the question. “B-but what are you doing here? I thought you have an appointment with-”
“-your fiance? Oh, that’s right. I do have an appointment with Lee Hongbin-except for the fact that I’ve asked Doctor Zhoumi to cover for me. Don’t worry, Zhoumi is the second best here.”
Junmyeon’s jaw involuntarily dropped. He merely blinked at Yifan, gazing at the (handsome) doctor from head to toe before realizing that Yifan looked a bit...
...cold.
“Have you...” Junmyeon started unsurely. “Have you been waiting for me...?”
Yifan was taken aback by his sudden question accusation. However, he broke into a smile at that. His smile was so bright that it nearly blinded Junmyeon. “As a matter of fact, I have.”
“But...but why?”
“Are you free tonight?”
“Tonight?“ Junmyeon was dumbfounded.
“Yeah, tonight. There’s this place that I want to take you-“
“What are you talking about??” Junmyeon cried in an unnaturally high voice that his words came as a hiss. “It’s-it’s over, right?”
Yifan narrowed his eyes. “What makes you think so?”
Junmyeon gasped in shock. Subconsciously, he took a step back, but he didn’t manage to get very far because Yifan had grabbed his wrist.
The weather was cold, but Junmyeon felt warm because of Yifan.
It wasn’t their first meeting, but it was the first time Junmyeon acknowledged their magnificent height different. He didn’t bother to measure how tall Yifan was when they were in bed, or even at that dark, unfortunate moment when they were in the janitor’s room. But now...
Junmyeon’s head was on the same level of Yifan’s jaw, and his forehead was completely accessible to the taller male. All of a sudden, the fair-skinned male had difficulties breathing when Yifan leaned closer. It could be just his imagination, but Junmyeon knew he wasn’t imagining things when he felt Yifan’s lips were pressed softly against his forehead.
It was like time had stopped.
“...this.”
Junmyeon had never felt like this toward anyone before. What was it that he felt...? His cheeks must’ve been full with patches of pink when he lifted up his face to stare at Yifan, wondering what the latter was talking about.
Yifan looked troubled with himself for a few seconds, but then he took a deep breath and showed Junmyeon a small device.
A flashdisk.
“I recorded everything.”
Junmyeon’s heartbeat slowed down. Did he hear it right...?
“Obey me, Junmyeon.”
Was Yifan that cruel...?
“Or else... I would send this to your fiance. And if you think I don’t have the back-ups, you’re totally wrong. You wouldn’t want him to suffer, would you? You wouldn’t want him to see how you cried underneath me the other night, would you?”
God.
Yifan shut his eyes for a moment as he facepalmed in desperation. “Right now, Zhoumi is waiting for my text. If you don’t obey, he will not hurt your fiance, but he might give him the wrong medicine...and it won’t result prettily. It would be easier if you say yes, Junmyeon. If you love him...”
Why?
“If you love...Hongbin...”
If I love...
A tear fell to Junmyeon’s cheek as he weakly replied,
“I will...so please, don’t hurt him...”
***
Yifan took Junmyeon back to his apartment that night.
The two of them didn’t talk much on the way there. Which was a bit strange, because Yifan would usually initiate a conversation about anything. But Yifan was just as quiet as Junmyeon that night. The car was filled with awkward silence that Junmyeon wondered if Yifan could hear how loud his heart was beating.
It was just several minutes-thirty-five minutes to be exact and yes, Junmyeon counted-but it seemed like it an eternity when they finally arrived at Yifan’s apartment.
Junmyeon just wanted it to be over soon.
The sooner, the better.
So that was why with trembling hands, he reached for his collar and started unbuttoning his own shirt.
“Whoa,” Yifan said as he caught one of Junmyeon’s slender wrists, a confused look adorned his handsome face. “What are you doing?”
“S-stripping,” Junmyeon stuttered.
“Strip...” Yifan trailed off. The doctor was clearly dumbstruck with what the fair-skinned male had just said. “FYI, Junmyeon, I’m not some kind of teenager who has raging hormones. I can hold myself very well, thank you. If you’re wondering, I’m turning twenty-eight this year. How old are you, by the way?”
Junmyeon blinked. Yifan sure didn’t bother to pause. “I’m...only a year younger than you.”
“Really? You don’t look that old.”
“...you too, actually...”
“See? Now we’re having a conversation.”
Yifan smiled as he gently caressed Junmyeon’s cheek with a thumb. The affectionate gesture happened too fast that Junmyeon found himself still staring when the taller of the two already turned around to head to the kitchen. Yifan cleared his throat before asking,
“Are you hungry, Junmyeon?”
“Not really...”
“Then we shall-ah!” Yifan smacked his forehead. “I forgot to buy dinner for us.”
“Oh. Then I’ll cook...?”
“...you can cook?”
“I should be able to make something simple,” Junmyeon nodded as he walked to the refrigerator. “If you have kimchi and rice, I can make kimchi fried rice for us.”
“You can make kimchi fried rice??”
“I’m sorry if I don’t look like the type who can cook,” Junmyeon retorted in annoyance, almost sarcastically. He opened the cupboard to look for the ingredients and became quiet. Junmyeon shook his head at the amount of instant ramen he found inside. “You know...for a doctor, you sure don’t maintain a healthy life.”
“You mean that? It’s emergency supplies, if I can be honest.”
Junmyeon had his back on Yifan, so the latter couldn’t see him rolling his eyes in response. The beautiful male were in the middle of rolling his sleeves to his elbows when Yifan suddenly grabbed his shoulder. Junmyeon glanced up at Yifan questioningly. “What...?”
“This.”
Yifan then softly kissed him.
The kiss only lasted for two seconds, but it was enough to make Junmyeon confused-and breathless. The weird sensations that he felt when they arrived instantly came back and Junmyeon’s heart started again.
“Um. What’s that...for?”
“Good luck charm?”
Junmyeon blushed. Good luck charm to cook? “...t-thank you?”
“Don’t sweat it. Anyway, I guess I should...” Yifan reluctantly took a step back. “I should leave you then...”
“Right. I-I will call you when I’m done.”
“Right. You do that.”
Yifan stared a bit longer at Junmyeon before turning around. Junmyeon quickly fixed his gaze back to his arms, silently begging for his heart to slow down.
What the hell are you thinking??
It’s just a kiss, Junmyeon! A simple kiss.
You don’t need to get so worked up about it...
But Junmyeon couldn’t lie to himself that there was something different about the way Yifan kissed him.
And it made him happy.
It made him really happy.
Junmyeon mentally scolded himself. He shook his head to snap out of whatever it was on his mind and inhaled deeply. Just when Junmyeon was ready to resume working on his sleeves, Yifan snaked an arm abruptly around his waist. It was too sudden that Junmyeon couldn’t even let out a sound. The doctor took the liberty to turn Junmyeon around as he pressed their lips together for the second time.
It was like all of the oxygen Junmyeon needed were being taken away from him, because he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t react (but to kiss back), he couldn’t move (but to lean forward to Yifan), he couldn’t think (but to feel...) at all.
Junmyeon opened his mouth slightly when Yifan licked his lips. Unlike last time, Yifan was being too eager tonight. Junmyeon tried to catch up with the older male’s pace, but he wasn’t quite used to it so he ended up choking. Yifan hastily pulled away as he watched Junmyeon coughing underneath his palm.
“I’m sorry.”
Junmyeon bashfully looked at Yifan. “Why are you apologizing? It’s okay... But if you keep doing that, I won’t be able to make dinner...”
“Which is why...I’m sorry.”
“Huh?”
“Because,” Yifan paused as he scratched his nape. His face was a bit red, and Junmyeon couldn’t help but think that he was really cute. “I think this might be a good time for you to strip now.”
Junmyeon laughed shyly.
***
Ever since that day, Junmyeon never hesitated when it came to Yifan.
He gave him his number-simply because Yifan had asked.
Yifan seemed cautious enough not to send him a text in daylight, but Junmyeon found himself looking forward to the doctor’s text messages at night. Whether it was just a simple ‘hi’ or ‘good night’, it brightened Junmyeon’s day. The male didn’t know since when he had been treasuring Yifan (and his texts) so much that even the thought of the latter made him happy.
So damn happy.
Going to Yifan’s apartment became some kind of routine to Junmyeon now.
It took a while, but at least now Yifan didn’t have to threaten Junmyeon with anything that had to do with Hongbin. Junmyeon would gladly go there. Yifan had also been buying vegetables and meat and put them in the fridge (just in case if Junmyeon wanted to cook...). Junmyeon giggled to himself whenever he peeked into the refrigerator because the amount of food Yifan bought were too much for the two of them.
Junmyeon felt like he was home whenever he stepped into Yifan’s apartment.
Funny how it was more natural to spend some time with Yifan compared to Hongbin.
Hongbin was nice, but whenever they were together...Junmyeon felt suffocated. It was like he was unable to be his true self, unlike when he was with Yifan. Sometimes all Junmyeon did with Yifan was just talk, but even such simple thing could lighten up his mood.
Perhaps it was because of Yifan was so easy going.
Whatever it was, Junmyeon’s chest was filled with so many feels of Yifan that they felt like they were about to burst.
The worst moment was whenever Yifan turned to him and smiled, because it was exactly at this moment that Junmyeon felt something invisible stabbing his chest.
Maybe...
Just maybe...
This is how it feels like to be head over heels.
***
One night, Junmyeon took a look at the cupboard and he had to say, he felt a bit proud at the fact that he spotted no instant ramen. It had been more than a week since Junmyeon started cooking (healthy) dinner for Yifan. Hopefully, it would continue to be that way...
Junmyeon smiled bitterly to himself as he started washing the dishes.
Hopefully.
“Junmyeon?”
Junmyeon turned his head to Yifan. “Yes?”
Yifan looked thoughtful before clearing his throat. “I was just wondering... You’re not the type of guy who goes out much, are you? Do any of your family members usually ask where you go?”
Junmyeon glanced at Yifan questioningly. He had a strange feeling about it. “Not really. ...just Jongin.”
“Jongin? Ah, your brother?” Yifan earned a simple nod in return. “And what did you usually tell him?”
“...nowhere.”
Yifan chuckled earnestly as he leaned against the counter. “And what about your parents?”
“My parents don’t really ask me. They probably just assume I go out with Hongbin or something...”
“Ah.”
Junmyeon turned off the water and dried his hands with paper towels. He crushed the towels in his fists and recklessly threw them to the nearest trash can. Junmyeon missed, and Yifan knelt to toss them properly where they belonged. He waited for Yifan to get up, but the latter stayed still in his position for a moment longer.
“...you’re going to marry Hongbin, aren’t you?”
Junmyeon raised his brows. His feelings were right. Something felt off... Was it a mistake to mention Hongbin’s name? He waited for Yifan to lift up his face and look at him, but the doctor was clearly avoiding his eyes. Junmyeon wasn’t sure of what to reply, so he replied what he (probably) should.
“...can’t help it. It’s arranged.”
Yifan’s expression turned sour.
“But a lot of things have happened, and they haven’t talked about it in a long time...” Junmyeon didn’t finish his sentence on purpose. Yifan was still silent. After a moment, the taller of the two finally stood up, but his eyes were anywhere but Junmyeon. “Yifan...?”
“Hm.”
“Do you still want to send Hongbin...the flashdisk?”
“What flash-oh.” Yifan grimaced as he unconsciously gritted his teeth. He smiled sadly at Junmyeon. “Junmyeon... You love him that much, don’t you?”
Junmyeon blinked in confusion.
Huh?
“Wait, that’s stupid for me to ask. You don’t need to say anything. I understand,” Yifan quickly held up a hand, causing Junmyeon to swallow back whatever it was that he was about to say. He intentionally tried to change the subject by glancing at his wristwatch. “Look at the time. It’s late... Come on, I’ll drive you home.”
Yifan didn’t bother to look at Junmyeon as he shuffled toward the door.
Junmyeon gasped mutely as he clutched his chest with a hand.
Yifan...?
***
Yifan stopped contacting Junmyeon after that.
At first Junmyeon assumed that Yifan was busy-because it seemed to be the only logical reason. The male could be facing countless of surgeries and having new patients...
It took a few days until Junmyeon finally admitted that he felt a bit empty without Yifan’s texts. He became nervous whenever his phone vibrated, but would end up sighing heavily when he found out it wasn’t Yifan.
More days had passed in a blink of an eye.
And still, no news from Yifan.
Junmyeon was just...curious. No, he meant...worried. Yeah, that must be it. He was just worried and wanted to know if Yifan had been eating well...sleeping well... But Junmyeon didn’t have any courage to be the first one to contact Yifan. All this time, it was always Yifan who contacted him first...
Because the life of a doctor is unpredictable.
What if I call him and he’s right in the middle of a surgery?
That would certainly be a disaster...
Junmyeon couldn’t stop himself from thinking about the other male and the next thing he knew, he was already in front of Yifan’s apartment. He certainly didn’t expect his feet to bring him there, moreover dropping by at the nearest grocery store earlier to buy vegetables (what if Yifan forgot to restock his food?)-it must’ve been reflex.
Junmyeon nervously fidgeted.
Stop it.
You’re just worried...
You just want to know how he’s doing...
With that in mind, Junmyeon raised a hand to knock on Yifan’s door, but after minutes of knocking, no one answered it. The fair-skinned male stole a (hopeless) glance at the watch on his cellphone screen.
Is Yifan sleeping?
Or...is Yifan not home?
Junmyeon was close to giving up when a very handsome blond-haired male appeared from the elevator. The male was so good-looking with his hair color that Junmyeon absently wondered, for the umpteenth time, if blond would suit him.
Unexpectedly, the male frowned at Junmyeon and it somehow reminded him of Jongin.
“Are you...waiting for Yifan?”
Junmyeon straightened in his track. “You-you are...?”
“Wu Sehun, his brother,” Sehun introduced himself as he offered his free hand for a handshake. The male stared at Junmyeon in amusement-and a lot of curiosity. “I have the keys. Do you want to come inside...?”
“May I...?”
“Why not?”
Junmyeon dropped his gaze at the grocery bags. “Then that would be lovely. Thank you...”
Sehun muttered ‘no problem’ as he unlocked the door. He let Junmyeon walk in first before following closely behind the older male. Sehun went to turn on some lights while Junmyeon went straight to the refrigerator to put the vegetables. When Junmyeon was done, it was then he realized that Sehun had been staring.
“...what?”
“Are you the one that he’s going to marry?”
Junmyeon slightly gaped. “Ex-excuse me?”
“Oh,” Sehun pressed his lips together upon seeing Junmyeon’s reaction. “Nevermind. You’re his type, so I just assumed...anyway, how long have you been waiting? Why didn’t you call him? My brother, I mean.”
Junmyeon looked away. “Wouldn’t it be a bother if I call him...?”
Sehun frowned. “Why do you think so? You can always send a text first if you’re unsure. You’re lucky that I happen to drop by, because if I don’t...who knows when Yifan-hyung will go home?”
Junmyeon stared blankly at Sehun. “What do you mean, when he will go home...?”
“He hasn’t come home lately. Too busy overworking himself at the hospital. It’s unlikely for Yifan to be like this, though...he seems to have a problem
but he wouldn’t tell me what it is.”
He hasn’t...come home?
“Anyway, I’m going home now. Are you going to wait for him here? I can leave the keys with you.”
“That’s...really something you shouldn’t say to someone you just met,” Junmyeon said. “What if I’m a bad person or something and I’m here to rob Yifan?”
“That’s a possibility, but seeing you walk straight to the refrigerator the minute we came in-moreover you know where the refrigerator is-eases me. You’re probably someone important.” Sehun smiled innocently. “Your choice, Hyung.”
Junmyeon blushed slightly. “No, I’m... I’m going home.”
“Okay. Then, shall we...?”
Junmyeon nodded and slowly stepped toward the front door. Sehun also had a magnificent height like Yifan, which Junmyeon noticed when he walked past him. It must’ve run in their family-and good genes, apparently, because both of them were gorgeous. Junmyeon patiently waited for Sehun to lock the door and fished his hands into his pockets.
“By the way, you haven’t told me your name.”
“Me? I’m Kim Junmyeon...”
The door was locked with a click sound and Sehun turned around with a smug grin. “Then I’ll tell my brother that you stopped by, Junmyeon-hyung.”
“Sehun...?”
“Hm?”
“You said...you said I’m Yifan’s type. Just...what’s his type...?”
Sehun paused momentarily as he looked into Junmyeon’s eyes. The blond-haired male looked a bit like Yifan when he examined Junmyeon closely like that. Junmyeon held his breath as Sehun opened his mouth to speak and he realized how much he wanted to meet Yifan.
“Angelic...”
Desperately.
“...and so goddamn beautiful.”
***
Even so, Junmyeon’s courage to contact Yifan never grew.
In a breeze, days turned to weeks, and if Junmyeon didn’t do something about it, it would turn to months.
But...why would he do something about it?
What was his relationship with Yifan, anyway? Did he expect something about it? But he had Hongbin...
Junmyeon yanked his hair in frustration. Ever since Junmyeon came across Sehun the other day, he couldn’t stop thinking about everything. And the question that had slipped out of Sehun’s mouth bothered him the most...
Are you the one that he’s going to marry?
Just thinking about it made Junmyeon’s heart ache.
“Hyung.”
Jongin’s stern voice pulled Junmyeon out of his thoughts. His brother seemed to invade his personal space lately...but not that he minded. Junmyeon quickly put on a smile, but Jongin’s expression didn’t change.
“Umma said she wants to talk to you. She’s waiting in the living room.”
Junmyeon’s smile faltered at that.
Umma...?
Junmyeon thanked Jongin quietly before half dragging himself to the living room. Jongin said nothing but to follow Junmyeon, as if to make sure that his brother wouldn’t run away. It was only going to be a conversation with his mother, but Junmyeon didn’t like what he felt. Fear increased greatly within him the moment he saw his mother, even though she was smiling kindly at him.
“Sweetheart, have a seat.”
Junmyeon obeyed heavily with a nod.
“How’s everything with Hongbin?”
Hongbin.
Jongin didn’t miss the way Junmyeon flinched at the question.
“Um. Okay...”
“Really? I’m glad to hear that, then.” His mother placed her hands on her lap and smoothed the end of her skirt. “Hongbin’s parents called us last night... It was such an unfortunate event for Hongbin to have that accident, but he’s completely healed now. And Junmyeon, I know how fond Hongbin is towards you. He truly cares about you and I think that’s what’s important. I haven’t asked for your opinion, but honestly, it would be even better to hold the wedding sooner than planned...”
Junmyeon shut his eyes for a few seconds. His fingers unconsciously curled into a fist and his eyes were burnt with unshed tears. Junmyeon’s throat went dry like he was in the middle of a desert. Everything seemed blurry and the walls seemed to spin around him.
But he was prepared for this, right?
What did he expect...?
Junmyeon knew eventually it would happen. It was just a matter of time.
Was there any other option than to say yes...?
Junmyeon pressed his palm against his face in exasperation.
There was nothing he could do.
He was going to marry Hongbin...
...someone he didn’t even love.
Love?
“Hyung?”
Junmyeon sniffled as he lifted up his face. Jongin was kneeling before him with a serious expression. Junmyeon was confused and so was his mother.
“Hyung,” Jongin repeated gently. “Is there anything you want to say, Hyung?”
Junmyeon’s eyes widened.
“Is there someone else for you...?”
Junmyeon gasped as he pulled away from Jongin. Breathlessly, he gazed at his mother, who seemed as shock as him by the statement.
“Because it’s okay,” Jongin reached to touch Junmyeon’s cheek. “You deserve to be happy...”
Junmyeon whimpered painfully as he covered his face with his palms. "I'm sorry..."
Because there was really someone else for him.
His name is Wu Yifan.
***
Junmyeon had never felt so sure in his life before.
He wanted to see Yifan.
He wanted to be with Yifan.
So when Junmyeon knocked hopelessly on the handsome male’s door and no one answered it, without thinking, he took his cellphone. His thumb shivered as it hovered above Yifan’s number. He was going to call him. He was going to call him. He was-
“Junmyeon?”
The cellphone almost slipped out of Junmyeon’s grip due to shock because of Yifan’s voice. It must’ve been a long time since they saw each other because Yifan’s hair looked longer than before. “Yifan, I-“
“Yifan, who’s that?”
Junmyeon fell silent. A black-haired male peeked from behind Yifan to take a look at Junmyeon, and their height difference... His heart immediately sank because what Junmyeon witnessed before him was a very well-matched couple. Yifan was handsome and tall, while the other male...
...he was very beautiful and angelic.
Junmyeon winced. Was he deceived?
“Yixing,” Yifan said, but his tone didn’t sound happy. “This is Junmyeon.”
Perhaps Sehun was referring Yifan’s type to Yixing, and not Junmyeon.
“Ah, before I forgot...” Yifan snatched something from his pocket and offhandedly gave it to Junmyeon. “This is for you.”
It was the flashdisk.
Junmyeon stared mutely at the device, but he did nothing to take it. Yifan then took the initiative to shove it to Junmyeon’s hand and it caused the latter to gasp.
“You can have it. I don’t need it anymore. I assure you, you don’t need to worry, I don’t have the back-up. You can...get married peacefully now.”
Junmyeon gazed at the flashdisk in disbelief. His eyes were teary as he looked up at Yifan. “Yifan...”
“Goodbye, Junmyeon.”
Just as simple as that, Yifan closed the door. It was the cruelest way to say goodbye, because Junmyeon wasn’t even given the chance to say anything.
Yifan didn’t feel the same way, that much was obvious.
Junmyeon’s heart shattered to pieces as he held tightly to the flashdisk.
***
Yixing opened his mouth to protest, but Yifan quickly pressed a finger against his lips, not wanting to hear any comment right now. The Chinese male rested his forehead against the wooden door. It wasn’t easy to do, acting like he didn’t care.
But it must be done.
So why did Yifan’s heart hurt terribly?
He had no idea that goodbyes were this painful...
“Stupid.”
Yifan groaned. “I know.”
“Sehun will be very angry if I tell him this.”
“I don’t care.”
“I came here to check on you and this is what I get. You’re in love with him, aren’t you? The reason why you looked so happy this past few weeks-it’s because of him, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Then why?”
“He has a fiance. Even before we met.”
Yixing pulled Yifan backward by the shoulder so that the older of the two faced him. “Since when this kind of thing discourages you from trying, Yifan? Where is that brave, shameless Wu Yifan that I know? When they told you they weren’t going to give you the position at the hospital because it was supposed to be for Siwon, did you give up?”
“This and that are different, Yixing! And please don’t touch me so much or else Sehun will-“
“Whatever it is that Sehun’s going to do to you, you surely deserve it! You just broke a person’s heart by lying to him!”
“You don’t know anything! I did bad things to him! I made him cry!”
“Then apologize to him and make up for it for the rest of your life!!” Yixing snapped indignantly and he blatantly opened the door. “Go chase him and tell him that-hiiiiiii!!!”
Yifan followed Yixing’s line of sight and both of them froze because Junmyeon was still standing in front of the door.
“Um. Hi,” Yixing repeated dumbly with a wave of hand. “I’m Yixing, but I’m not this guy’s boyfriend. Nope, never was, never will. And I believe Yifan here has something to say-“
“Keep this,” Junmyeon interrupted as he shove the flashdisk back to Yifan. “Please.”
Both Yixing and Yifan gawked dumbly.
“H-huh?”
“I told my mother that I don’t want to marry Hongbin...”
Yifan’s heart skipped a beat. “You...did?”
Junmyeon nodded. The male looked extremely sad and his expression bothered Yifan. Junmyeon wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and he started crying.
Yixing mercilessly kicked Yifan’s leg.
“Please, don’t push me away...” Junmyeon cried between his tears. “You can send Hongbin that flashdisk... You can threaten me anything... But please, don’t push me away, Yifan... Don’t leave me... Please...”
Yifan was certain that Yixing was glowering at him when Junmyeon mentioned ‘threaten’ but he could deal with that later. Right now, Junmyeon’s tears pained him and he just wanted to see the beautiful male bloomed into a smile.
“Junmyeon...”
Junmyeon sobbed.
“Junmyeon, are you serious with what you said...?” Yifan took a step closer and placed a hand on Junmyeon’s nape. “You don’t...hate me?”
Junmyeon looked at Yifan with a confused expression. “Of-of course not. Why would I...?”
Yifan sighed in relief as he took Junmyeon in his arms.
“Then I will take the responsibility.”
***
Yifan came home with a black eye.
Junmyeon became panicked at that but the doctor said not to worry, he wasn’t hurt elsewhere.
Yifan had gone to see Hongbin. His original plan was to apologize and ask for his blessing (and of course leaving the flashdisk part out). Yifan had expected for Hongbin to be (really) angry because he had the right to be, but (un)fortunately his leg had completely healed so he had no difficulty jumping forward to punch Yifan in the face.
Junmyeon’s parents were surprised when Junmyeon told them the truth. That he had been in love with Yifan all along, and that his heart didn’t have any space left for anyone else. Surprised was probably an understatement because his mother actually fainted from the news (“Doctor Wu? That handsome doctor?”) while Jongin only shrugged and muttered something along the lines of ‘as long as he makes you happy’.
Yifan pressed a pack of ice against his face with a loud sigh.
“Are you okay?” Junmyeon asked worriedly.
“Yeah. I deserve this. Besides, you’re worth the pain.”
Junmyeon nudged Yifan’s ribs, feeling both happy and unhappy at the same time. He carefully took the pack of ice before pressing a soft kiss against his boyfriend’s swollen skin. Junmyeon wrinkled his face in distaste. “Cold.”
“Of course it is,” Yifan playfully poked Junmyeon’s nose. “Are you cooking anything?”
“Yeah. It should be done soon. I’ll call you when it’s ready to be served.”
Junmyeon left Yifan alone in the living room. It had only been a few days since the two of them realized their true feelings, but Yifan couldn’t wait to ask Junmyeon to move in. It would be a lot easier because Junmyeon had been coming back and forth to his apartment on dinner time. All he needed to do was to find a perfect timing...and a perfect choice of words.
Yifan leaned his back against the cushion, his eyes wandering around the ceiling.
Anytime was a perfect time.
Yifan really lost himself when it came to Junmyeon.
Yifan rose to his feet and entered the kitchen. Junmyeon had his back on him, and without thinking, he hugged Junmyeon tightly from behind. His boyfriend giggled slightly when Yifan pressed a kiss on his nape.
“Kim Junmyeon...”
“Hm?”
“How about cooking for me until death do us part?”
End.
“Can I see our sex tape?”
Yifan choked violently on his coffee and hastily reached for the nearest napkin. It was a bit too early in the morning to be talking about the s word. “S-sex what?”
“Sex tape,” Junmyeon answered innocently. “You know, the one you saved in the flashdisk?”
“Oh,” Yifan wiped his mouth with the napkin as he breathed in relief. That. “I lied. I didn’t record anything.”
There was a terrifying pregnant pause in the air that made Yifan shiver.
“You...what?” Junmyeon said slowly yet deathly.
“Well, you see, people in love do stupid things, and I am one of them. I know it may not make sense to you, and it’s a bad thing to do, but I’m sorry. I just thought if...I didn’t do that, you wouldn’t want to come with me...”
“Yifan!” Junmyeon cried. “You evil, evil doctor!”
“You forgot to mention handsome! But yes, I know and I’m sorry about that!”
Junmyeon was so angry at his boyfriend but he couldn’t bring himself to retort, worse, curse. So he merely glared at Yifan and puffed his cheeks in annoyance. Junmyeon was obviously angry, but somehow for Yifan, he looked like a sulking puppy and dammit his boyfriend was being very cute. However, Junmyeon growled when Yifan was about to touch him.
“Nu-uh! Don’t touch me! You have to be punished!”
“Fine, fine,” Yifan sighed in resignation as he held his hands up. “I’ll accept your punishment.”
“There are two things! First, you have to live with me forever!”
Yifan grinned approvingly. “That is a price I’m willing to pay, babe.”
“And I’m gonna bleach my hair!”
Yifan went horror.
Author: FloweryMisha
Pairing: KrisHo
Warning: BoyxBoy love. Enough said.
Summary: If Junmyeon was to lose himself, it would be by Yifan’s side.
[1]
Junmyeon never went back to the hospital to see Hongbin after that.
Jongin sulked at him because apparently, Junmyeon wasn’t home when he said he would be. But Jongin would never be able to stay angry at his beautiful brother. It all vanished when Junmyeon knocked on Jongin’s door, telling him that dinner was ready.
His parents were waiting for Junmyeon on the next morning so that they could go to the hospital together, but the young male turned down the offer politely. His mother sent him a flabbergasted stare, one that was also linked with silent protest because it was important for them to be there for Hongbin. But Junmyeon was stubborn about his decision. He told his family that he wasn’t feeling so well, and going to the hospital would only make his condition worse...
Besides, Yifan had promised him.
And somehow, Junmyeon knew that Yifan wouldn’t let him down.
If he said Hongbin’s leg would heal quickly, then it was the truth.
Yifan.
Junmyeon’s heart ached at the thought of the handsome doctor. His parents had left after telling him to rest and he took the opportunity to bury himself underneath his blanket. Junmyeon’s lower part hurt a bit...but it was nothing compared to the happiness he felt last night.
Can I kiss you?
Junmyeon whimpered as he pulled the blanket over his head.
Why did I let him...?
But Yifan was being so gentle to him. His kisses, his touch, his words...
The kiss started everything.
Junmyeon didn’t know how long they had been kissing last night. All he knew was that his heart skipped a beat-too many beats, in fact, and he thought he was about to die-at the taste of Yifan’s tongue on his. They were kissing for so long that Junmyeon remembered whining internally, wanting to complain that his jaw was actually tired.
But it was all worth the pleasure.
Junmyeon felt comfortable with the way Yifan pressed against him, and-
“Hyung?”
Junmyeon didn’t think he was ready when someone pulled his blanket away. The male covered his face as a reaction to the sudden light, and at the same time still feeling embarrassed for getting caught in the middle of fantasizing-wait. What? No, he did not fantasize!
“Your face is red,” Jongin frowned as he sat on the edge of the bed. Junmyeon couldn’t help but think that his brother seemed to frown a lot lately.
“Are you sick?”
“I just feel a bit dizzy...” Junmyeon replied quietly. “You’re still here? I thought you were coming with Appa and Umma to the hospital...”
“I’m going if you’re going. But,” Jongin paused as he examined Junmyeon’s face briefly. “Umma said you’re not feeling well. And resting seems to be the best option for you now. I do hope the surgery’s going well, though. Let’s just pray?”
“Hongbin’s going to be fine.”
Jongin blinked. He had his gaze on Junmyeon, but the older of the two had his eyes somewhere else. Unconsciously, he continued to stare at his brother, and something within Jongin told him that it was probably the first time in a while since Junmyeon had that kind of face.
“I hope so too.”
“I’m sure.”
“...why?”
Junmyeon’s expression changed and Jongin merely held his breath.
His brother was so damn sure.
“Because his doctor is the best in the hospital...”
***
A week had passed since then.
Junmyeon didn’t go to see Hongbin even after the latter got out of the hospital.
Hongbin had been trying to contact him for days, but Junmyeon didn’t feel like responding. He dismissed the thought that he was being cruel, but...it would be even crueler if he acted like it didn’t bother him. Sometimes Hongbin didn’t give up and usually it ended with Junmyeon (finally) replying with a simple text saying that he was busy or that he couldn’t be reached at the moment.
Besides, Hongbin still needed to rest...
From Jongin and his father, Junmyeon found out that the surgery went very well. Doctor Wu-Yifan-informed the whole family that Hongbin’s leg would heal soon and that he was going to be able to walk again.
Junmyeon couldn’t help but feel proud at that.
Of course.
Because Yifan was the best.
“Are you avoiding Hongbin-hyung?”
Junmyeon froze.
He must’ve been spacing out that he didn’t realize anyone was there in his bedroom.
Jongin looked at him solemnly, and it was then Junmyeon realized his (rebellious) young brother had dyed his hair blond. Again. It suit him, though. Junmyeon absently wondered if such bright color suit him...
“What makes you think like that?”
“Because he’s calling and you just threw your phone aside.”
Junmyeon gasped as he followed Jongin’s line of the sight, because the latter was right, he did throw his phone aside when it vibrated. It must’ve been reflex when he saw Hongbin’s name on the screen, but he certainly didn’t realize Jongin was near.
Jongin took the liberty to snatch the poor phone and offered it to Junmyeon. Fortunately, the moment the device was given to him, it stopped vibrating. Junmyeon reluctantly accepted his phone and smiled sheepishly at Jongin.
“It’s...dead.”
“Aren’t you going to call him?”
“Um. Okay.”
“Like now?”
Junmyeon gulped nervously. He nodded, but he made no move to call Hongbin back.
I don’t want to...
Jongin exhaled loudly. He gently detached the phone from Junmyeon’s palm and placed it on the empty spot beside him. Jongin took a second to breathe before asking,
“Is everything okay?”
Junmyeon forced himself to smile. “Yeah...why is it not?”
“Because it’s been a week.”
Junmyeon flinched.
Jongin pursed his lips. “It’s been a week and you’ve been...reluctant to meet Hongbin-hyung.”
Junmyeon was supposed to retort that no, Jongin was wrong and that he wasn’t reluctant. He was just giving Hongbin some space after the surgery... But who did Junmyeon fool? Even the smallest part of his heart knew that yes, he had been avoiding Hongbin.
But...
“I understand...” Junmyeon said softly. “I’ll call him back soon.”
“That’s not what I-“
“It’s okay. It’s the rightest thing to do.”
Jongin didn’t reply anymore after that.
Junmyeon then patted his brother’s head caringly. Eventually, he knew he wouldn’t have the heart to completely ignore Hongbin. If Hongbin’s injury had healed...it might be just a matter of time until their parents talked about their (arranged) marriage, again. Junmyeon did his best not to feel the huge pang within his chest as he thought about it.
But why does it hurt so bad...?
***
“Junmyeon?”
“H-hi. Um, how’s your leg...?”
“Hi. It’s...great. I mean, I’m not allowed to run just yet, but...it’s progressing. It’s healing.”
“That’s good to hear. I’m...glad. You should be more careful next time...”
“Yeah...I will. What about you? Are you feeling any better?”
“Hm? Me?”
“Yeah. Your parents told me that you weren’t well the other day...and you didn’t pick up my calls, so I just thought...”
“Ah. Yes. I’m better. I’m good... Sorry for ditching your calls, though. You just happened to catch me at the wrong times...”
“I guess. But you know, I’m really happy that you call me back. I...kinda have a favor to ask at the moment. If it’s alright with you...?”
“...what is it?”
“I was wondering if you’re free for tomorrow?”
“T-tomorrow?”
“Yeah. I have one final check-up, and then it’s done. Doctor Wu told me that it would’ve been better if I come with someone... I could come with my parents, but...it’s been a while since we saw each other... I wanted you to come with me. If you don’t mind, of course.”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...Junmyeon?”
“Y-yes?”
“Did you hear what I ask you?”
“Uh. Yes...”
“Oh. Are you busy tomorrow? It’s okay if you can’t make it...”
“I...I can. I’m not busy. It’s just that I’m not really fond of hospitals... Can I...can I just wait outside while you’re having that final check...?”
“...you’re willing to come with me? For real? Then yes! Of course you can wait outside. Then I’ll pick you up in the morning? Is nine okay? The appointment with Doctor Wu’s at ten, but we can grab ourselves some nice breakfast first! Crap, sorry I’m rambling. Until tomorrow then, Junmyeon. See you.”
“...see you, Hongbin...”
***
Junmyeon didn’t know why he said yes yesterday.
When Hongbin asked him if he would go with him to see Doctor Wu, his heart almost stopped beating.
What kind of question was that? Of course he didn’t want to. Despite the fact that the doctor was the best in the hospital, what he did toward Junmyeon was actually unforgivable. Threatening him...touching him...kissing him... Heck, if Junmyeon was serious about what happened, he could sue Yifan for blackmailing. But he was so damn kind-hearted so he chose not to. Rejection was already at the tip of his tongue, but Hongbin’s tone was laced with longing that it got him to say yes.
Junmyeon was a bit amazed at how fast Hongbin’s leg healed. It could be from Hongbin himself, but surely there was the effort from Yifan. At the thought of this, Junmyeon pouted. Okay, so he was a bit confused about whether he should loath Yifan or he should feel grateful instead.
Stupid doctor.
Hongbin left with a simple smile and a playful ‘Don’t go anywhere’ before entering the room and Junmyeon almost ran away the minute Hongbin disappeared.
Don’t be panic. Calm down. Yifan is inside. You won’t meet him.
But there was a possibility that Yifan would step outside as soon as Hongbin’s final check-up was done. Junmyeon didn’t want it to happen, so he (kind of) rushed to the backdoor. If he wasn’t there when Hongbin was done, the latter could always call him...
Just when Junmyeon thought he was finally safe, a deep voice called out his name.
“Junmyeon.”
A cold shiver went down his spine because he remembered exactly who the owner of the voice was. Junmyeon craned his neck to the source of the voice and he immediately went pale at the person before him.
Wu Yifan.
“D-Doctor?”
Yifan smirked. “Didn’t I tell you to just call me Yifan? Did I? Did I not?”
Junmyeon ignored the question. “B-but what are you doing here? I thought you have an appointment with-”
“-your fiance? Oh, that’s right. I do have an appointment with Lee Hongbin-except for the fact that I’ve asked Doctor Zhoumi to cover for me. Don’t worry, Zhoumi is the second best here.”
Junmyeon’s jaw involuntarily dropped. He merely blinked at Yifan, gazing at the (handsome) doctor from head to toe before realizing that Yifan looked a bit...
...cold.
“Have you...” Junmyeon started unsurely. “Have you been waiting for me...?”
Yifan was taken aback by his sudden question accusation. However, he broke into a smile at that. His smile was so bright that it nearly blinded Junmyeon. “As a matter of fact, I have.”
“But...but why?”
“Are you free tonight?”
“Tonight?“ Junmyeon was dumbfounded.
“Yeah, tonight. There’s this place that I want to take you-“
“What are you talking about??” Junmyeon cried in an unnaturally high voice that his words came as a hiss. “It’s-it’s over, right?”
Yifan narrowed his eyes. “What makes you think so?”
Junmyeon gasped in shock. Subconsciously, he took a step back, but he didn’t manage to get very far because Yifan had grabbed his wrist.
The weather was cold, but Junmyeon felt warm because of Yifan.
It wasn’t their first meeting, but it was the first time Junmyeon acknowledged their magnificent height different. He didn’t bother to measure how tall Yifan was when they were in bed, or even at that dark, unfortunate moment when they were in the janitor’s room. But now...
Junmyeon’s head was on the same level of Yifan’s jaw, and his forehead was completely accessible to the taller male. All of a sudden, the fair-skinned male had difficulties breathing when Yifan leaned closer. It could be just his imagination, but Junmyeon knew he wasn’t imagining things when he felt Yifan’s lips were pressed softly against his forehead.
It was like time had stopped.
“...this.”
Junmyeon had never felt like this toward anyone before. What was it that he felt...? His cheeks must’ve been full with patches of pink when he lifted up his face to stare at Yifan, wondering what the latter was talking about.
Yifan looked troubled with himself for a few seconds, but then he took a deep breath and showed Junmyeon a small device.
A flashdisk.
“I recorded everything.”
Junmyeon’s heartbeat slowed down. Did he hear it right...?
“Obey me, Junmyeon.”
Was Yifan that cruel...?
“Or else... I would send this to your fiance. And if you think I don’t have the back-ups, you’re totally wrong. You wouldn’t want him to suffer, would you? You wouldn’t want him to see how you cried underneath me the other night, would you?”
God.
Yifan shut his eyes for a moment as he facepalmed in desperation. “Right now, Zhoumi is waiting for my text. If you don’t obey, he will not hurt your fiance, but he might give him the wrong medicine...and it won’t result prettily. It would be easier if you say yes, Junmyeon. If you love him...”
Why?
“If you love...Hongbin...”
If I love...
A tear fell to Junmyeon’s cheek as he weakly replied,
“I will...so please, don’t hurt him...”
***
Yifan took Junmyeon back to his apartment that night.
The two of them didn’t talk much on the way there. Which was a bit strange, because Yifan would usually initiate a conversation about anything. But Yifan was just as quiet as Junmyeon that night. The car was filled with awkward silence that Junmyeon wondered if Yifan could hear how loud his heart was beating.
It was just several minutes-thirty-five minutes to be exact and yes, Junmyeon counted-but it seemed like it an eternity when they finally arrived at Yifan’s apartment.
Junmyeon just wanted it to be over soon.
The sooner, the better.
So that was why with trembling hands, he reached for his collar and started unbuttoning his own shirt.
“Whoa,” Yifan said as he caught one of Junmyeon’s slender wrists, a confused look adorned his handsome face. “What are you doing?”
“S-stripping,” Junmyeon stuttered.
“Strip...” Yifan trailed off. The doctor was clearly dumbstruck with what the fair-skinned male had just said. “FYI, Junmyeon, I’m not some kind of teenager who has raging hormones. I can hold myself very well, thank you. If you’re wondering, I’m turning twenty-eight this year. How old are you, by the way?”
Junmyeon blinked. Yifan sure didn’t bother to pause. “I’m...only a year younger than you.”
“Really? You don’t look that old.”
“...you too, actually...”
“See? Now we’re having a conversation.”
Yifan smiled as he gently caressed Junmyeon’s cheek with a thumb. The affectionate gesture happened too fast that Junmyeon found himself still staring when the taller of the two already turned around to head to the kitchen. Yifan cleared his throat before asking,
“Are you hungry, Junmyeon?”
“Not really...”
“Then we shall-ah!” Yifan smacked his forehead. “I forgot to buy dinner for us.”
“Oh. Then I’ll cook...?”
“...you can cook?”
“I should be able to make something simple,” Junmyeon nodded as he walked to the refrigerator. “If you have kimchi and rice, I can make kimchi fried rice for us.”
“You can make kimchi fried rice??”
“I’m sorry if I don’t look like the type who can cook,” Junmyeon retorted in annoyance, almost sarcastically. He opened the cupboard to look for the ingredients and became quiet. Junmyeon shook his head at the amount of instant ramen he found inside. “You know...for a doctor, you sure don’t maintain a healthy life.”
“You mean that? It’s emergency supplies, if I can be honest.”
Junmyeon had his back on Yifan, so the latter couldn’t see him rolling his eyes in response. The beautiful male were in the middle of rolling his sleeves to his elbows when Yifan suddenly grabbed his shoulder. Junmyeon glanced up at Yifan questioningly. “What...?”
“This.”
Yifan then softly kissed him.
The kiss only lasted for two seconds, but it was enough to make Junmyeon confused-and breathless. The weird sensations that he felt when they arrived instantly came back and Junmyeon’s heart started again.
“Um. What’s that...for?”
“Good luck charm?”
Junmyeon blushed. Good luck charm to cook? “...t-thank you?”
“Don’t sweat it. Anyway, I guess I should...” Yifan reluctantly took a step back. “I should leave you then...”
“Right. I-I will call you when I’m done.”
“Right. You do that.”
Yifan stared a bit longer at Junmyeon before turning around. Junmyeon quickly fixed his gaze back to his arms, silently begging for his heart to slow down.
What the hell are you thinking??
It’s just a kiss, Junmyeon! A simple kiss.
You don’t need to get so worked up about it...
But Junmyeon couldn’t lie to himself that there was something different about the way Yifan kissed him.
And it made him happy.
It made him really happy.
Junmyeon mentally scolded himself. He shook his head to snap out of whatever it was on his mind and inhaled deeply. Just when Junmyeon was ready to resume working on his sleeves, Yifan snaked an arm abruptly around his waist. It was too sudden that Junmyeon couldn’t even let out a sound. The doctor took the liberty to turn Junmyeon around as he pressed their lips together for the second time.
It was like all of the oxygen Junmyeon needed were being taken away from him, because he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t react (but to kiss back), he couldn’t move (but to lean forward to Yifan), he couldn’t think (but to feel...) at all.
Junmyeon opened his mouth slightly when Yifan licked his lips. Unlike last time, Yifan was being too eager tonight. Junmyeon tried to catch up with the older male’s pace, but he wasn’t quite used to it so he ended up choking. Yifan hastily pulled away as he watched Junmyeon coughing underneath his palm.
“I’m sorry.”
Junmyeon bashfully looked at Yifan. “Why are you apologizing? It’s okay... But if you keep doing that, I won’t be able to make dinner...”
“Which is why...I’m sorry.”
“Huh?”
“Because,” Yifan paused as he scratched his nape. His face was a bit red, and Junmyeon couldn’t help but think that he was really cute. “I think this might be a good time for you to strip now.”
Junmyeon laughed shyly.
***
Ever since that day, Junmyeon never hesitated when it came to Yifan.
He gave him his number-simply because Yifan had asked.
Yifan seemed cautious enough not to send him a text in daylight, but Junmyeon found himself looking forward to the doctor’s text messages at night. Whether it was just a simple ‘hi’ or ‘good night’, it brightened Junmyeon’s day. The male didn’t know since when he had been treasuring Yifan (and his texts) so much that even the thought of the latter made him happy.
So damn happy.
Going to Yifan’s apartment became some kind of routine to Junmyeon now.
It took a while, but at least now Yifan didn’t have to threaten Junmyeon with anything that had to do with Hongbin. Junmyeon would gladly go there. Yifan had also been buying vegetables and meat and put them in the fridge (just in case if Junmyeon wanted to cook...). Junmyeon giggled to himself whenever he peeked into the refrigerator because the amount of food Yifan bought were too much for the two of them.
Junmyeon felt like he was home whenever he stepped into Yifan’s apartment.
Funny how it was more natural to spend some time with Yifan compared to Hongbin.
Hongbin was nice, but whenever they were together...Junmyeon felt suffocated. It was like he was unable to be his true self, unlike when he was with Yifan. Sometimes all Junmyeon did with Yifan was just talk, but even such simple thing could lighten up his mood.
Perhaps it was because of Yifan was so easy going.
Whatever it was, Junmyeon’s chest was filled with so many feels of Yifan that they felt like they were about to burst.
The worst moment was whenever Yifan turned to him and smiled, because it was exactly at this moment that Junmyeon felt something invisible stabbing his chest.
Maybe...
Just maybe...
This is how it feels like to be head over heels.
***
One night, Junmyeon took a look at the cupboard and he had to say, he felt a bit proud at the fact that he spotted no instant ramen. It had been more than a week since Junmyeon started cooking (healthy) dinner for Yifan. Hopefully, it would continue to be that way...
Junmyeon smiled bitterly to himself as he started washing the dishes.
Hopefully.
“Junmyeon?”
Junmyeon turned his head to Yifan. “Yes?”
Yifan looked thoughtful before clearing his throat. “I was just wondering... You’re not the type of guy who goes out much, are you? Do any of your family members usually ask where you go?”
Junmyeon glanced at Yifan questioningly. He had a strange feeling about it. “Not really. ...just Jongin.”
“Jongin? Ah, your brother?” Yifan earned a simple nod in return. “And what did you usually tell him?”
“...nowhere.”
Yifan chuckled earnestly as he leaned against the counter. “And what about your parents?”
“My parents don’t really ask me. They probably just assume I go out with Hongbin or something...”
“Ah.”
Junmyeon turned off the water and dried his hands with paper towels. He crushed the towels in his fists and recklessly threw them to the nearest trash can. Junmyeon missed, and Yifan knelt to toss them properly where they belonged. He waited for Yifan to get up, but the latter stayed still in his position for a moment longer.
“...you’re going to marry Hongbin, aren’t you?”
Junmyeon raised his brows. His feelings were right. Something felt off... Was it a mistake to mention Hongbin’s name? He waited for Yifan to lift up his face and look at him, but the doctor was clearly avoiding his eyes. Junmyeon wasn’t sure of what to reply, so he replied what he (probably) should.
“...can’t help it. It’s arranged.”
Yifan’s expression turned sour.
“But a lot of things have happened, and they haven’t talked about it in a long time...” Junmyeon didn’t finish his sentence on purpose. Yifan was still silent. After a moment, the taller of the two finally stood up, but his eyes were anywhere but Junmyeon. “Yifan...?”
“Hm.”
“Do you still want to send Hongbin...the flashdisk?”
“What flash-oh.” Yifan grimaced as he unconsciously gritted his teeth. He smiled sadly at Junmyeon. “Junmyeon... You love him that much, don’t you?”
Junmyeon blinked in confusion.
Huh?
“Wait, that’s stupid for me to ask. You don’t need to say anything. I understand,” Yifan quickly held up a hand, causing Junmyeon to swallow back whatever it was that he was about to say. He intentionally tried to change the subject by glancing at his wristwatch. “Look at the time. It’s late... Come on, I’ll drive you home.”
Yifan didn’t bother to look at Junmyeon as he shuffled toward the door.
Junmyeon gasped mutely as he clutched his chest with a hand.
Yifan...?
***
Yifan stopped contacting Junmyeon after that.
At first Junmyeon assumed that Yifan was busy-because it seemed to be the only logical reason. The male could be facing countless of surgeries and having new patients...
It took a few days until Junmyeon finally admitted that he felt a bit empty without Yifan’s texts. He became nervous whenever his phone vibrated, but would end up sighing heavily when he found out it wasn’t Yifan.
More days had passed in a blink of an eye.
And still, no news from Yifan.
Junmyeon was just...curious. No, he meant...worried. Yeah, that must be it. He was just worried and wanted to know if Yifan had been eating well...sleeping well... But Junmyeon didn’t have any courage to be the first one to contact Yifan. All this time, it was always Yifan who contacted him first...
Because the life of a doctor is unpredictable.
What if I call him and he’s right in the middle of a surgery?
That would certainly be a disaster...
Junmyeon couldn’t stop himself from thinking about the other male and the next thing he knew, he was already in front of Yifan’s apartment. He certainly didn’t expect his feet to bring him there, moreover dropping by at the nearest grocery store earlier to buy vegetables (what if Yifan forgot to restock his food?)-it must’ve been reflex.
Junmyeon nervously fidgeted.
Stop it.
You’re just worried...
You just want to know how he’s doing...
With that in mind, Junmyeon raised a hand to knock on Yifan’s door, but after minutes of knocking, no one answered it. The fair-skinned male stole a (hopeless) glance at the watch on his cellphone screen.
Is Yifan sleeping?
Or...is Yifan not home?
Junmyeon was close to giving up when a very handsome blond-haired male appeared from the elevator. The male was so good-looking with his hair color that Junmyeon absently wondered, for the umpteenth time, if blond would suit him.
Unexpectedly, the male frowned at Junmyeon and it somehow reminded him of Jongin.
“Are you...waiting for Yifan?”
Junmyeon straightened in his track. “You-you are...?”
“Wu Sehun, his brother,” Sehun introduced himself as he offered his free hand for a handshake. The male stared at Junmyeon in amusement-and a lot of curiosity. “I have the keys. Do you want to come inside...?”
“May I...?”
“Why not?”
Junmyeon dropped his gaze at the grocery bags. “Then that would be lovely. Thank you...”
Sehun muttered ‘no problem’ as he unlocked the door. He let Junmyeon walk in first before following closely behind the older male. Sehun went to turn on some lights while Junmyeon went straight to the refrigerator to put the vegetables. When Junmyeon was done, it was then he realized that Sehun had been staring.
“...what?”
“Are you the one that he’s going to marry?”
Junmyeon slightly gaped. “Ex-excuse me?”
“Oh,” Sehun pressed his lips together upon seeing Junmyeon’s reaction. “Nevermind. You’re his type, so I just assumed...anyway, how long have you been waiting? Why didn’t you call him? My brother, I mean.”
Junmyeon looked away. “Wouldn’t it be a bother if I call him...?”
Sehun frowned. “Why do you think so? You can always send a text first if you’re unsure. You’re lucky that I happen to drop by, because if I don’t...who knows when Yifan-hyung will go home?”
Junmyeon stared blankly at Sehun. “What do you mean, when he will go home...?”
“He hasn’t come home lately. Too busy overworking himself at the hospital. It’s unlikely for Yifan to be like this, though...he seems to have a problem
but he wouldn’t tell me what it is.”
He hasn’t...come home?
“Anyway, I’m going home now. Are you going to wait for him here? I can leave the keys with you.”
“That’s...really something you shouldn’t say to someone you just met,” Junmyeon said. “What if I’m a bad person or something and I’m here to rob Yifan?”
“That’s a possibility, but seeing you walk straight to the refrigerator the minute we came in-moreover you know where the refrigerator is-eases me. You’re probably someone important.” Sehun smiled innocently. “Your choice, Hyung.”
Junmyeon blushed slightly. “No, I’m... I’m going home.”
“Okay. Then, shall we...?”
Junmyeon nodded and slowly stepped toward the front door. Sehun also had a magnificent height like Yifan, which Junmyeon noticed when he walked past him. It must’ve run in their family-and good genes, apparently, because both of them were gorgeous. Junmyeon patiently waited for Sehun to lock the door and fished his hands into his pockets.
“By the way, you haven’t told me your name.”
“Me? I’m Kim Junmyeon...”
The door was locked with a click sound and Sehun turned around with a smug grin. “Then I’ll tell my brother that you stopped by, Junmyeon-hyung.”
“Sehun...?”
“Hm?”
“You said...you said I’m Yifan’s type. Just...what’s his type...?”
Sehun paused momentarily as he looked into Junmyeon’s eyes. The blond-haired male looked a bit like Yifan when he examined Junmyeon closely like that. Junmyeon held his breath as Sehun opened his mouth to speak and he realized how much he wanted to meet Yifan.
“Angelic...”
Desperately.
“...and so goddamn beautiful.”
***
Even so, Junmyeon’s courage to contact Yifan never grew.
In a breeze, days turned to weeks, and if Junmyeon didn’t do something about it, it would turn to months.
But...why would he do something about it?
What was his relationship with Yifan, anyway? Did he expect something about it? But he had Hongbin...
Junmyeon yanked his hair in frustration. Ever since Junmyeon came across Sehun the other day, he couldn’t stop thinking about everything. And the question that had slipped out of Sehun’s mouth bothered him the most...
Are you the one that he’s going to marry?
Just thinking about it made Junmyeon’s heart ache.
“Hyung.”
Jongin’s stern voice pulled Junmyeon out of his thoughts. His brother seemed to invade his personal space lately...but not that he minded. Junmyeon quickly put on a smile, but Jongin’s expression didn’t change.
“Umma said she wants to talk to you. She’s waiting in the living room.”
Junmyeon’s smile faltered at that.
Umma...?
Junmyeon thanked Jongin quietly before half dragging himself to the living room. Jongin said nothing but to follow Junmyeon, as if to make sure that his brother wouldn’t run away. It was only going to be a conversation with his mother, but Junmyeon didn’t like what he felt. Fear increased greatly within him the moment he saw his mother, even though she was smiling kindly at him.
“Sweetheart, have a seat.”
Junmyeon obeyed heavily with a nod.
“How’s everything with Hongbin?”
Hongbin.
Jongin didn’t miss the way Junmyeon flinched at the question.
“Um. Okay...”
“Really? I’m glad to hear that, then.” His mother placed her hands on her lap and smoothed the end of her skirt. “Hongbin’s parents called us last night... It was such an unfortunate event for Hongbin to have that accident, but he’s completely healed now. And Junmyeon, I know how fond Hongbin is towards you. He truly cares about you and I think that’s what’s important. I haven’t asked for your opinion, but honestly, it would be even better to hold the wedding sooner than planned...”
Junmyeon shut his eyes for a few seconds. His fingers unconsciously curled into a fist and his eyes were burnt with unshed tears. Junmyeon’s throat went dry like he was in the middle of a desert. Everything seemed blurry and the walls seemed to spin around him.
But he was prepared for this, right?
What did he expect...?
Junmyeon knew eventually it would happen. It was just a matter of time.
Was there any other option than to say yes...?
Junmyeon pressed his palm against his face in exasperation.
There was nothing he could do.
He was going to marry Hongbin...
...someone he didn’t even love.
Love?
“Hyung?”
Junmyeon sniffled as he lifted up his face. Jongin was kneeling before him with a serious expression. Junmyeon was confused and so was his mother.
“Hyung,” Jongin repeated gently. “Is there anything you want to say, Hyung?”
Junmyeon’s eyes widened.
“Is there someone else for you...?”
Junmyeon gasped as he pulled away from Jongin. Breathlessly, he gazed at his mother, who seemed as shock as him by the statement.
“Because it’s okay,” Jongin reached to touch Junmyeon’s cheek. “You deserve to be happy...”
Junmyeon whimpered painfully as he covered his face with his palms. "I'm sorry..."
Because there was really someone else for him.
His name is Wu Yifan.
***
Junmyeon had never felt so sure in his life before.
He wanted to see Yifan.
He wanted to be with Yifan.
So when Junmyeon knocked hopelessly on the handsome male’s door and no one answered it, without thinking, he took his cellphone. His thumb shivered as it hovered above Yifan’s number. He was going to call him. He was going to call him. He was-
“Junmyeon?”
The cellphone almost slipped out of Junmyeon’s grip due to shock because of Yifan’s voice. It must’ve been a long time since they saw each other because Yifan’s hair looked longer than before. “Yifan, I-“
“Yifan, who’s that?”
Junmyeon fell silent. A black-haired male peeked from behind Yifan to take a look at Junmyeon, and their height difference... His heart immediately sank because what Junmyeon witnessed before him was a very well-matched couple. Yifan was handsome and tall, while the other male...
...he was very beautiful and angelic.
Junmyeon winced. Was he deceived?
“Yixing,” Yifan said, but his tone didn’t sound happy. “This is Junmyeon.”
Perhaps Sehun was referring Yifan’s type to Yixing, and not Junmyeon.
“Ah, before I forgot...” Yifan snatched something from his pocket and offhandedly gave it to Junmyeon. “This is for you.”
It was the flashdisk.
Junmyeon stared mutely at the device, but he did nothing to take it. Yifan then took the initiative to shove it to Junmyeon’s hand and it caused the latter to gasp.
“You can have it. I don’t need it anymore. I assure you, you don’t need to worry, I don’t have the back-up. You can...get married peacefully now.”
Junmyeon gazed at the flashdisk in disbelief. His eyes were teary as he looked up at Yifan. “Yifan...”
“Goodbye, Junmyeon.”
Just as simple as that, Yifan closed the door. It was the cruelest way to say goodbye, because Junmyeon wasn’t even given the chance to say anything.
Yifan didn’t feel the same way, that much was obvious.
Junmyeon’s heart shattered to pieces as he held tightly to the flashdisk.
***
Yixing opened his mouth to protest, but Yifan quickly pressed a finger against his lips, not wanting to hear any comment right now. The Chinese male rested his forehead against the wooden door. It wasn’t easy to do, acting like he didn’t care.
But it must be done.
So why did Yifan’s heart hurt terribly?
He had no idea that goodbyes were this painful...
“Stupid.”
Yifan groaned. “I know.”
“Sehun will be very angry if I tell him this.”
“I don’t care.”
“I came here to check on you and this is what I get. You’re in love with him, aren’t you? The reason why you looked so happy this past few weeks-it’s because of him, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Then why?”
“He has a fiance. Even before we met.”
Yixing pulled Yifan backward by the shoulder so that the older of the two faced him. “Since when this kind of thing discourages you from trying, Yifan? Where is that brave, shameless Wu Yifan that I know? When they told you they weren’t going to give you the position at the hospital because it was supposed to be for Siwon, did you give up?”
“This and that are different, Yixing! And please don’t touch me so much or else Sehun will-“
“Whatever it is that Sehun’s going to do to you, you surely deserve it! You just broke a person’s heart by lying to him!”
“You don’t know anything! I did bad things to him! I made him cry!”
“Then apologize to him and make up for it for the rest of your life!!” Yixing snapped indignantly and he blatantly opened the door. “Go chase him and tell him that-hiiiiiii!!!”
Yifan followed Yixing’s line of sight and both of them froze because Junmyeon was still standing in front of the door.
“Um. Hi,” Yixing repeated dumbly with a wave of hand. “I’m Yixing, but I’m not this guy’s boyfriend. Nope, never was, never will. And I believe Yifan here has something to say-“
“Keep this,” Junmyeon interrupted as he shove the flashdisk back to Yifan. “Please.”
Both Yixing and Yifan gawked dumbly.
“H-huh?”
“I told my mother that I don’t want to marry Hongbin...”
Yifan’s heart skipped a beat. “You...did?”
Junmyeon nodded. The male looked extremely sad and his expression bothered Yifan. Junmyeon wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and he started crying.
Yixing mercilessly kicked Yifan’s leg.
“Please, don’t push me away...” Junmyeon cried between his tears. “You can send Hongbin that flashdisk... You can threaten me anything... But please, don’t push me away, Yifan... Don’t leave me... Please...”
Yifan was certain that Yixing was glowering at him when Junmyeon mentioned ‘threaten’ but he could deal with that later. Right now, Junmyeon’s tears pained him and he just wanted to see the beautiful male bloomed into a smile.
“Junmyeon...”
Junmyeon sobbed.
“Junmyeon, are you serious with what you said...?” Yifan took a step closer and placed a hand on Junmyeon’s nape. “You don’t...hate me?”
Junmyeon looked at Yifan with a confused expression. “Of-of course not. Why would I...?”
Yifan sighed in relief as he took Junmyeon in his arms.
“Then I will take the responsibility.”
***
Yifan came home with a black eye.
Junmyeon became panicked at that but the doctor said not to worry, he wasn’t hurt elsewhere.
Yifan had gone to see Hongbin. His original plan was to apologize and ask for his blessing (and of course leaving the flashdisk part out). Yifan had expected for Hongbin to be (really) angry because he had the right to be, but (un)fortunately his leg had completely healed so he had no difficulty jumping forward to punch Yifan in the face.
Junmyeon’s parents were surprised when Junmyeon told them the truth. That he had been in love with Yifan all along, and that his heart didn’t have any space left for anyone else. Surprised was probably an understatement because his mother actually fainted from the news (“Doctor Wu? That handsome doctor?”) while Jongin only shrugged and muttered something along the lines of ‘as long as he makes you happy’.
Yifan pressed a pack of ice against his face with a loud sigh.
“Are you okay?” Junmyeon asked worriedly.
“Yeah. I deserve this. Besides, you’re worth the pain.”
Junmyeon nudged Yifan’s ribs, feeling both happy and unhappy at the same time. He carefully took the pack of ice before pressing a soft kiss against his boyfriend’s swollen skin. Junmyeon wrinkled his face in distaste. “Cold.”
“Of course it is,” Yifan playfully poked Junmyeon’s nose. “Are you cooking anything?”
“Yeah. It should be done soon. I’ll call you when it’s ready to be served.”
Junmyeon left Yifan alone in the living room. It had only been a few days since the two of them realized their true feelings, but Yifan couldn’t wait to ask Junmyeon to move in. It would be a lot easier because Junmyeon had been coming back and forth to his apartment on dinner time. All he needed to do was to find a perfect timing...and a perfect choice of words.
Yifan leaned his back against the cushion, his eyes wandering around the ceiling.
Anytime was a perfect time.
Yifan really lost himself when it came to Junmyeon.
Yifan rose to his feet and entered the kitchen. Junmyeon had his back on him, and without thinking, he hugged Junmyeon tightly from behind. His boyfriend giggled slightly when Yifan pressed a kiss on his nape.
“Kim Junmyeon...”
“Hm?”
“How about cooking for me until death do us part?”
End.
“Can I see our sex tape?”
Yifan choked violently on his coffee and hastily reached for the nearest napkin. It was a bit too early in the morning to be talking about the s word. “S-sex what?”
“Sex tape,” Junmyeon answered innocently. “You know, the one you saved in the flashdisk?”
“Oh,” Yifan wiped his mouth with the napkin as he breathed in relief. That. “I lied. I didn’t record anything.”
There was a terrifying pregnant pause in the air that made Yifan shiver.
“You...what?” Junmyeon said slowly yet deathly.
“Well, you see, people in love do stupid things, and I am one of them. I know it may not make sense to you, and it’s a bad thing to do, but I’m sorry. I just thought if...I didn’t do that, you wouldn’t want to come with me...”
“Yifan!” Junmyeon cried. “You evil, evil doctor!”
“You forgot to mention handsome! But yes, I know and I’m sorry about that!”
Junmyeon was so angry at his boyfriend but he couldn’t bring himself to retort, worse, curse. So he merely glared at Yifan and puffed his cheeks in annoyance. Junmyeon was obviously angry, but somehow for Yifan, he looked like a sulking puppy and dammit his boyfriend was being very cute. However, Junmyeon growled when Yifan was about to touch him.
“Nu-uh! Don’t touch me! You have to be punished!”
“Fine, fine,” Yifan sighed in resignation as he held his hands up. “I’ll accept your punishment.”
“There are two things! First, you have to live with me forever!”
Yifan grinned approvingly. “That is a price I’m willing to pay, babe.”
“And I’m gonna bleach my hair!”
Yifan went horror.