(no subject)
i will never eat mushrooms again. i was tripping so fucking hard and the begining was awesome! laughing smiling enjoying my friends company. staring at the grass, the grass was growing into flowers right underneath me! Was ridiculous!
Then it completly went downhill. I was fucking crying hysterically i felt so fucking alone the trip became fucking miserable. All i could think about was how shitty everything was. My mind could not handle the intensity anymore. Everything became negative I could not stop crying because i felt so fucking alone I was tripping so fucking hard i really thought i was going to die i really really wanted to fucking die right then mushrooms compltely took over my head. and i had no control over my emotions or feelings everything was Shit the worst fucking feeling in my life. And i was so fucking scared and everyone just kept saying mann how can you feel like this you should be feeling fucking happy. and that just upset me even more. I cant describe at all in words how i felt but i guess it was something like completly honestly wanting to kill yourself so bad standing at the edge of a cliff inching off second by second but never falling instead just realizing more and more shitty shit and crying hysterically and never being able to come to a conclusion just stayed in the moment for what felt like hours of truly wanting to die. i felt like life had no fucking meaning and i had no meaning everyone is truly shit. And the worst part is i could not stop myself. i was calling everyone on my phone and everything everyone said to me did not help me get out of that state of mind. they helped me through it im sure...stayed beside me but nothing made it go away.
It was fucking terrible and so fucking sad. i could not snap out of it not for a fucking second. All i wanted to do that whole time was leave the place i was in...which was the park...But i dint know how and finally someone mentioned leaving and i couldnt believe it thats all i wanted to do that whole time that enviroment was terrible for me and i dont even know why. So we get in the car i get in the passanger seat and all i can say is "just drive just drive not go anywhere i just need to be riding in the car" So while my friend is driving all the windows are down we put on music really loud and the sky is really stormy and everything became really beautiful and i couldnt get the smile off my face.
So ill never eat acid i should never eat acid because it would be a terrifying fucking experience for me.
Then it completly went downhill. I was fucking crying hysterically i felt so fucking alone the trip became fucking miserable. All i could think about was how shitty everything was. My mind could not handle the intensity anymore. Everything became negative I could not stop crying because i felt so fucking alone I was tripping so fucking hard i really thought i was going to die i really really wanted to fucking die right then mushrooms compltely took over my head. and i had no control over my emotions or feelings everything was Shit the worst fucking feeling in my life. And i was so fucking scared and everyone just kept saying mann how can you feel like this you should be feeling fucking happy. and that just upset me even more. I cant describe at all in words how i felt but i guess it was something like completly honestly wanting to kill yourself so bad standing at the edge of a cliff inching off second by second but never falling instead just realizing more and more shitty shit and crying hysterically and never being able to come to a conclusion just stayed in the moment for what felt like hours of truly wanting to die. i felt like life had no fucking meaning and i had no meaning everyone is truly shit. And the worst part is i could not stop myself. i was calling everyone on my phone and everything everyone said to me did not help me get out of that state of mind. they helped me through it im sure...stayed beside me but nothing made it go away.
It was fucking terrible and so fucking sad. i could not snap out of it not for a fucking second. All i wanted to do that whole time was leave the place i was in...which was the park...But i dint know how and finally someone mentioned leaving and i couldnt believe it thats all i wanted to do that whole time that enviroment was terrible for me and i dont even know why. So we get in the car i get in the passanger seat and all i can say is "just drive just drive not go anywhere i just need to be riding in the car" So while my friend is driving all the windows are down we put on music really loud and the sky is really stormy and everything became really beautiful and i couldnt get the smile off my face.
So ill never eat acid i should never eat acid because it would be a terrifying fucking experience for me.