(no subject)
"Stay here with Cordelia," Faith said before marching towards the door.
The axe was heavy in my hand as I watched her slam the door behind her.
Stay here with Cordelia. Stay here with Cordelia?
Was she fucking kidding? Buffy got Wesley. I mean it's not like I was ever really a big fan of Mr. Giles-wanna-be but the last couple of days it was obvious that he hadn't had it easy. Things had changed, not just for him but for all of us. You live with someone, you mourn with someone and you're not about to sit pretty when a vamp with your best friend's face comes calling to take him away.
I could feel my blood pumping through my veins as I struggled to hold back from throwing this axe at the front door or kicking over the coffee table. Damaging anything about Buffy's house would be sacrilege. I'd spent more time here than at my own house growing up and even though Joyce had been gone for a while I still thought about her when I saw her curtains or her artsy things strewn around the room for decoration.
This family had seen enough destruction, it didn't need me to help it along by destroying their home.
I stood absolutely still and for the first time I can understand how Willow must have felt when she went all black eyed on us. Because if I had any kind of power, any kind at all I think I'd be lashing out right about now.
But I don't.
And that's why I'm here and Buffy's dead and Dawn's heartbroken and Wesley's probably a dead man and Faith...
Faith doesn't want my help.
Somethings just don't change, do they.
* * * * *
I spend the next couple of hours holed up in the basement, fixing the window that Buffy must have broke trying to lure Wesley out. Making a never ending supply of stakes and wondering what the hell is happening outside of this house. Was Wesley dead? Was Faith? Maybe they'd turned them too, just to have one happy super vamp family.
If that was the case we'd might as well just pack up and leave town now. Maybe if we ran far enough they wouldn't find us.
That's not going to happen though. I'm not running.
I ran when I thought there was even a chance that I could hurt Anya and look where that'd gotten me.
Now I didn't even know who I was anymore.
Stupid, definitely. But not a coward.
Whatever was headed our way I'd be right here in the middle of it. And I wasn't going to be staying on the sidelines, no matter what Faith or Wesley or whoever said. I had just as much of a right to fight as they did. No Anya, no Buffy, no Dawn, no Tara, no Willow...I had nothing to loose.
I heard the phone ringing above my head but I ignored it. Let Cordelia get it. I had more important things to do.
I pick up another stick and begin to sharpen the edge.
I'm in this fight, if it's the last thing I ever do.
[Open for Anya]
The axe was heavy in my hand as I watched her slam the door behind her.
Stay here with Cordelia. Stay here with Cordelia?
Was she fucking kidding? Buffy got Wesley. I mean it's not like I was ever really a big fan of Mr. Giles-wanna-be but the last couple of days it was obvious that he hadn't had it easy. Things had changed, not just for him but for all of us. You live with someone, you mourn with someone and you're not about to sit pretty when a vamp with your best friend's face comes calling to take him away.
I could feel my blood pumping through my veins as I struggled to hold back from throwing this axe at the front door or kicking over the coffee table. Damaging anything about Buffy's house would be sacrilege. I'd spent more time here than at my own house growing up and even though Joyce had been gone for a while I still thought about her when I saw her curtains or her artsy things strewn around the room for decoration.
This family had seen enough destruction, it didn't need me to help it along by destroying their home.
I stood absolutely still and for the first time I can understand how Willow must have felt when she went all black eyed on us. Because if I had any kind of power, any kind at all I think I'd be lashing out right about now.
But I don't.
And that's why I'm here and Buffy's dead and Dawn's heartbroken and Wesley's probably a dead man and Faith...
Faith doesn't want my help.
Somethings just don't change, do they.
* * * * *
I spend the next couple of hours holed up in the basement, fixing the window that Buffy must have broke trying to lure Wesley out. Making a never ending supply of stakes and wondering what the hell is happening outside of this house. Was Wesley dead? Was Faith? Maybe they'd turned them too, just to have one happy super vamp family.
If that was the case we'd might as well just pack up and leave town now. Maybe if we ran far enough they wouldn't find us.
That's not going to happen though. I'm not running.
I ran when I thought there was even a chance that I could hurt Anya and look where that'd gotten me.
Now I didn't even know who I was anymore.
Stupid, definitely. But not a coward.
Whatever was headed our way I'd be right here in the middle of it. And I wasn't going to be staying on the sidelines, no matter what Faith or Wesley or whoever said. I had just as much of a right to fight as they did. No Anya, no Buffy, no Dawn, no Tara, no Willow...I had nothing to loose.
I heard the phone ringing above my head but I ignored it. Let Cordelia get it. I had more important things to do.
I pick up another stick and begin to sharpen the edge.
I'm in this fight, if it's the last thing I ever do.
[Open for Anya]