SRS, U GUISES. U GUISES, SRS.
I typically hate acting prematurely, but it seems like my
first thought was the correct thought. I think I got fired for my job today because I got up to get some air when my boss and supervisor was double fucking teaming me. I just don't know what to say about any of this. It was just so unexpected, and I should probably get into the details, but I'm floating between absolute anger and confusion. I don't know how this happened. I don't understand why this happened. I don't get any of this mess. Wow, I'm so ... overwhelmed and underwhelmed by it.
Today I went over to Vons -- partly to meet some coworkers, partly to ask Tony why I was removed from the schedule. I arrived while Tony was still on his lunch, so I had to watch ten or so minutes before I could talk to him. Well, when he arrived, I asked him to talk. He agreed, then stepped out for a hot minute. When he came back he was with Christa, so I knew something was up. So I said, with a hint of confusion, "Did I do something wrong?" And that's when everything shitty began to happen.
He informed me that he had to demote me to a courtesy clerk because I give horrible customer service and the economy is bad right now, so they can't afford to have someone as shitty (he didn't say shitty, btw) as me working the Jamba Juice kiosk. He added that he gave me a year to improve, and he didn't see it. Christa and he started chiming in with examples of customers saying that when they see me they don't want to go to Jamba Juice anymore, and how I always make customers' smoothies incorrectly. They also stated I've been here for two years now, and I should know everyone's orders by heart, never mind that not all customers make an impression on you, some switches their drinks up, and CHRISTA doesn't remember everyone's orders. OKAY, HOLD ME TO THAT UNREALISTIC STANDARD.
Of course I'm not amused with this at all, but I slowly got frustrated. Every time I tried to speak out, they would cut me off with another "example." Then Tony quickly says, "DON'T TRY TO SPIN IT AS A BLACK THING BECAUSE I'M BLACK!" ...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
That was when I lost it. I'm the last person to bring up race when it comes to this shit. Yeah, I always think about it being a damn factor, but I only say it when idk at a limit. And I didn't get to my limit yet. I was going to being up counterpoints about customers playing favoritism. There are quite a few people who prefer me helping them to Christa or Amber or whomever. There were many customers who said they don't like bothering the other Jamba Juices because "they aren't as nice" as me. And, hey, why can't you factor that it's ALWAYS BEEN FUCKING SLOW FROM 7-9AM. Even before the recession became a huge deal, I was bored out of my fucking mind. Sales from my hours weren't the only one down. BUT IT'S APPARENTLY MY FAULT, AMIRITE?
So I started to tear up. I never expected someone to just yell that at me, so I had to walk away. I said, "Excuse me. Excuse me, I just gotta ... I just gotta get out of here." Instead of them being respectful and understanding, they just started yelling "DON'T YOU WANT A JOB? DON'T YOU WANT A JOB?" After I worked there for three or so years, you would think they would know that YELLING AT ME WHEN I'M IN A MIDDLE OF A SLIGHT PANIC ATTACK ISN'T GOING TO GET ME TO COME BACK. Hell, yelling at anyone isn't a good idea. Anyway, I ran off, went outside, and pretty much fell into Michael's (coworker/friend) arms, crying.
Ten minutes later, I was ready to go back inside to talk. I went back inside and said, "Um, do I still have a job at least?" And Tony replied, "While you ran out cursing, and I can't have an employee doing that." ... WUT? When I was too panicked to say anything to anyone until I got outside and sat down with Michael, and I told him that excluding the Michael detail. He was like, "Well, I have people saying you did so I'm going to believe them." O OK. Still, even if I did do that, it shouldn't have matter because (a) I wasn't on the clock, and (b) I wasn't in uniform. For all those people know, I was just a pissed off customer. idk, idk. He ended up asking for my number because he's going to call me tomorrow ... I know he isn't. And I stressed that I didn't believe he would by asking "do you promise" in many different ways. I know he probably tossed out my number when he got the chance. And I'm about to call Jamba to tell me to black out my mobile number because there's no reason why they should have that now.
I haven't decided how I feel about this yet, and I don't understand how they can complain about my customer service when Montana and Christian are still employees. But whatever. What's done is done. I could go to the union for help, but even if I get a resolution, they could just decrease my hours making it worthless to come in. Again, I don't know what I'm going to do. I really don't. I guess I can dance? (Or try for unemployment?)