Joke of the day.
The pope, a Hasidic Jew mystic and Jesse Jackson are on an airplane at 35,000 feet. Suddenly, the engines start to fail. They go to the back of the plane to locate the parachutes. However, they only find a bunch of books about airline disasters. The plane then crashes. End of joke.
Random punchline: And then the nun says "but i dont like avacado's!!".
This weekend was good and bad. The car show on Saturday was a complete joke, there were like, 5 cars there total. Then, some dude that works at the place decides that we are going to have a PARADE of the 5 cars through the area, and that he is going to lead this parade IN HIS GOLF CART. Works in theory, except the fucking loser is driving the golf cart at a speed slightly slower than walking speed. All 5 cars are having to literally ride the brakes bigtime, and 3 of the 5 cars (mine being one of them) dropped out of the 'parade' shortly into it due to the fact that high perfomance engines aren't made to slow idle in gear, as they tend to overheat. Blah. It sucked.
Sunday was fun, Chris, his friend and I drove down to Ft. Lauderdale for dinner of Chris's choice. Met up with friends and family. Food was decent, only bad thing is we didnt get home till 2 am. Good times otherwise.
Today I came home for lunch at 12:30 and found the new pet (a black kitten we got 2 weeks ago that Chris named "Pussy". Really.) tied tightly to a bunch of wires with monofiliment fishing line. As soon as the cat realized I was there, it started meowing something fierce. It must have been playing with the string in one of the fishing rods, got the line wrapped tightly around its back leg (REAL tight) and then wrapped itself around all the cords under the table behind my computer. I cut the fishing line off of it, and the poor thing was in some real pain, It was dragging the foot around like a dead apendage for a while. The foot also swelled up to about 3 times the normal size of a foot, so I took it to the vet. I am not a cat person, as most cats arent friendly. This one is an attention hog, and loves spending time laying next to Chris and I. Hell, she even crawls into bed with Chris after he goes to sleep. The Vet basically told me that the foot will get better with time, gave the cat its shots, charged me $35 and sent me on my way. I have been to many vets before, but this is the first time I have ever been in a waiting room where the room has an overpowering smell of dog piss. I have worked at dog tracks and the kennels there dont smell near as bad as this place did. I would have suggested an enzyme clener to the guy, but uhm, I dont care.
I also am the proud new owner of a (drum roll) good riding mower! I moved out of my parents house when I was 20. Until I moved to Melbourne 2 years ago, all the places I lived included lawn service with the rent, so I never had to bother with it. Then when I moved to Melbourne, I suddenly had a lawn to mow, so I went and got a used $75 mower that lasted all of 2 lawn mowings before it got rained on and ruined the engine. It was a shitty murray push mower with an aneimic 3 hp engine. The basement of all lawnmowers, short of the old manual ones. Anyway, after it died I paid the kid across the street $20 to mow the lawn for a while, then one day he offers to trade me a nicer push mower with a 8 hp engine, good name, mulching blade, big lawn tires, only thing wrong with it is that you had to hook up vice grips to the side of the bar to get it to run. No biggie, he traded it even for a 12 pack of beer. I used that for the last 6 months in melbourne, and for the first month here. Then it too mysteriously died. So, being a small town where everyone knows everyone, I mentioned my problem to a local person, who then got ahold of someone he knows, who called me. This is still strange to me, people wanting to help people for no reason. Anyway, this guy has one of those commercial 40 inch wide mowers that have the two sticks to steer them, so you can literally, spin in circles if thats what you want to do. Its about 10 years old, runs like a top, so I bought it for $200. Yep, thats right, $200. Seems the guy bought a new one, and he doesnt need two. Whee.
I admit, a 40 inch wide cut with a high speed riding mower is massive overkill for where I am now, but anyone of you who knows me well knows that I am a big fan of massive overkill. You can never have too much power, from an old station wagon, to a little boat that has almost 3x the HP that the manufacturers plate says it should have, to the 10 lb bowling ball I had drilled for my big ass hand just so I can wing the shit out of the ball, to overbooking the hell out of my shows... all massive overkill, and now I have a big honkin commercial riding mower to cut a lawn that takes 12-15 minutes to do with the old pushmower.
Forgot my digital camera today, and saw LOTS of roadkill. I will take the pics tomorrow and put them on the site www.roadkillguide.com, also, please feel free to send me pics of local roadkill that you see. Thats all I have kids, see ya on the flipside.
Random punchline: And then the nun says "but i dont like avacado's!!".
This weekend was good and bad. The car show on Saturday was a complete joke, there were like, 5 cars there total. Then, some dude that works at the place decides that we are going to have a PARADE of the 5 cars through the area, and that he is going to lead this parade IN HIS GOLF CART. Works in theory, except the fucking loser is driving the golf cart at a speed slightly slower than walking speed. All 5 cars are having to literally ride the brakes bigtime, and 3 of the 5 cars (mine being one of them) dropped out of the 'parade' shortly into it due to the fact that high perfomance engines aren't made to slow idle in gear, as they tend to overheat. Blah. It sucked.
Sunday was fun, Chris, his friend and I drove down to Ft. Lauderdale for dinner of Chris's choice. Met up with friends and family. Food was decent, only bad thing is we didnt get home till 2 am. Good times otherwise.
Today I came home for lunch at 12:30 and found the new pet (a black kitten we got 2 weeks ago that Chris named "Pussy". Really.) tied tightly to a bunch of wires with monofiliment fishing line. As soon as the cat realized I was there, it started meowing something fierce. It must have been playing with the string in one of the fishing rods, got the line wrapped tightly around its back leg (REAL tight) and then wrapped itself around all the cords under the table behind my computer. I cut the fishing line off of it, and the poor thing was in some real pain, It was dragging the foot around like a dead apendage for a while. The foot also swelled up to about 3 times the normal size of a foot, so I took it to the vet. I am not a cat person, as most cats arent friendly. This one is an attention hog, and loves spending time laying next to Chris and I. Hell, she even crawls into bed with Chris after he goes to sleep. The Vet basically told me that the foot will get better with time, gave the cat its shots, charged me $35 and sent me on my way. I have been to many vets before, but this is the first time I have ever been in a waiting room where the room has an overpowering smell of dog piss. I have worked at dog tracks and the kennels there dont smell near as bad as this place did. I would have suggested an enzyme clener to the guy, but uhm, I dont care.
I also am the proud new owner of a (drum roll) good riding mower! I moved out of my parents house when I was 20. Until I moved to Melbourne 2 years ago, all the places I lived included lawn service with the rent, so I never had to bother with it. Then when I moved to Melbourne, I suddenly had a lawn to mow, so I went and got a used $75 mower that lasted all of 2 lawn mowings before it got rained on and ruined the engine. It was a shitty murray push mower with an aneimic 3 hp engine. The basement of all lawnmowers, short of the old manual ones. Anyway, after it died I paid the kid across the street $20 to mow the lawn for a while, then one day he offers to trade me a nicer push mower with a 8 hp engine, good name, mulching blade, big lawn tires, only thing wrong with it is that you had to hook up vice grips to the side of the bar to get it to run. No biggie, he traded it even for a 12 pack of beer. I used that for the last 6 months in melbourne, and for the first month here. Then it too mysteriously died. So, being a small town where everyone knows everyone, I mentioned my problem to a local person, who then got ahold of someone he knows, who called me. This is still strange to me, people wanting to help people for no reason. Anyway, this guy has one of those commercial 40 inch wide mowers that have the two sticks to steer them, so you can literally, spin in circles if thats what you want to do. Its about 10 years old, runs like a top, so I bought it for $200. Yep, thats right, $200. Seems the guy bought a new one, and he doesnt need two. Whee.
I admit, a 40 inch wide cut with a high speed riding mower is massive overkill for where I am now, but anyone of you who knows me well knows that I am a big fan of massive overkill. You can never have too much power, from an old station wagon, to a little boat that has almost 3x the HP that the manufacturers plate says it should have, to the 10 lb bowling ball I had drilled for my big ass hand just so I can wing the shit out of the ball, to overbooking the hell out of my shows... all massive overkill, and now I have a big honkin commercial riding mower to cut a lawn that takes 12-15 minutes to do with the old pushmower.
Forgot my digital camera today, and saw LOTS of roadkill. I will take the pics tomorrow and put them on the site www.roadkillguide.com, also, please feel free to send me pics of local roadkill that you see. Thats all I have kids, see ya on the flipside.