I'm so angry today! At mitra, at trusha at myself! I AM SO MAD AT MYSELF FOR MISSING MITRA! So mad that I ever thought or still think that we could still make it work! WE CAN'T! It's so over, the fat lady sang! SANG LOUD! It's not fair. It's not fair what she did to me. She chose trusha, DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE! She didn't even CARE! How DARE ( Read more... )

Well, maybe closure. I'm confused about it. So weird. It was like the end of a movie, like the end of all of these stupid things I've been feeling. Basically mitra came to this persian performance thing and mateen didn't tell her I was going to be there and he didn't tell me she was going. He's like "I just wanted to see what would happen." All of ( Read more... )

It's 1:12 in the morning, and I stupidly looked at my facebook updates about mitra's birthday. I cried. I fucking miss her. What the hell even happened?

There are people who may not make in into your future but they'll always define who you are. And I would write a poem and post it on facebook but I feel like I just need to use names and vent. In 3 days, it would have been 2 years since I knew mitra. 2 years. We couldn't even make it. But my friend Christina had a good theory. One day I was super ( Read more... )

Reading back on all of the posts I wrote makes me so sad for some reason. People tend to forget things and having them documented on paper brings it all back. You go back and read it and think...why was I so stupid? I dunno, weird. Just wanted to give a quick hello to the future me and say that, you are amazing! lol. Always make good choices, and ( Read more... )

Tomorrow I'm having lunch with mitra, and I want to tell her some things and I decided to gather my thoughts here. ::exhales:: Here goes ( Read more... )

Well, Stupid Boy called today. And it was weird because I didn't care. lol. And not that I didn't care. It's just MITRA CALLED AND WAS ON HER WAY HOME! And I was too excited about that and as I was saying goodbye to her, he was calling. So, I was already too excited to not answer his call. lol. But it was short and sweet. I acted like I was ( Read more... )

So he came home. On Saturday. And I pretended not to care. And I suddenly realize that saturday was only 2 days ago. But he didn't call! I mean, who comes back from a one month trip and doesn't call?! WHAT?! I am, so....dissapointed. So, I've been struggling about this situation ever since my mini feed first told me of his return. If I call him, it ( Read more... )

So, My Ryan came home this week. I MISSED HIM SO MUCH! We had a nice 2 hour lunch where I listened to him talk about china and then his friend called and then I threw chips at him. lol. He's still totally Ryan though. If you knew him, you'd know what that means. The stupid boy didn't come home this week. STUPID BOY. I mean, I was so over him. It ( Read more... )

So, While talking to the boy today I found out that someone had told him what i was going to tell him prior to me talking to him. WHAT?! I mean, I have a right to be upset here right? They never even gave me a chance to get up the nerve to do it. And what if I later decided to not do it. HMMMM. What then? Why would that information need to be ( Read more... )