redemption
Court on Thursday didn't go as freakishly awful as expected. It could be considered a colossal waste of time (and money... boo that) almost like the first one, but my sister and I did consent to having email and phone contact with/occasionally visiting our dad when we want to. I talked to him via phone that very same night, and I was amazed at some of the things he said. He wants to get help... truly, really, genuinely wants to and he wants to hold down a job, too. He thinks that in itself will be treatment of some kind; just staying active, doing something he knows and enjoys.
He's realized everything that happened was his fault; he seems genuine in his desire to get better and to, in his words, "rebuild the disaster he created". He wants to win our respect back. I'm impressed; for him, getting to the point at which he ceased to blame everyone else, to lie constantly, to self-medicate was nearly half the battle. That's a giant step, and I believe we need to take it for what it is. I do realize that all that is much easier said than done, that getting treatment and holding down a job at once for him may be a bit of a tall order. Since history mandates that I say I'll believe it when I see it, that's where I stand now. I am overjoyed, though, that he wants to check himself into treatment for both his drug and alcohol addictions as well as depression. He's given me his word on that. I hope I can trust him. I would like nothing more than to be able to trust him again.
Already I feel an immense burden on my shoulders has lifted... although I'm not sure whether to attribute that to Thursday's positive events or to this yoga class G and I have been going to this week. 90 minutes in a 100-degree room... I'm sore as H, but it's amazing! The combination of running again and yoga-ing is doing great things for my body; I feel so much better than I did a month or so ago.
Going to Columbia March 3-5... KT, I better be seeing your fine ass or heads will roll!
Annnnnd that's all she wrote. I apologize for the brevity, although I did make up for it in my last entry... just know that life is good, my friends. I miss and love you all.
He's realized everything that happened was his fault; he seems genuine in his desire to get better and to, in his words, "rebuild the disaster he created". He wants to win our respect back. I'm impressed; for him, getting to the point at which he ceased to blame everyone else, to lie constantly, to self-medicate was nearly half the battle. That's a giant step, and I believe we need to take it for what it is. I do realize that all that is much easier said than done, that getting treatment and holding down a job at once for him may be a bit of a tall order. Since history mandates that I say I'll believe it when I see it, that's where I stand now. I am overjoyed, though, that he wants to check himself into treatment for both his drug and alcohol addictions as well as depression. He's given me his word on that. I hope I can trust him. I would like nothing more than to be able to trust him again.
Already I feel an immense burden on my shoulders has lifted... although I'm not sure whether to attribute that to Thursday's positive events or to this yoga class G and I have been going to this week. 90 minutes in a 100-degree room... I'm sore as H, but it's amazing! The combination of running again and yoga-ing is doing great things for my body; I feel so much better than I did a month or so ago.
Going to Columbia March 3-5... KT, I better be seeing your fine ass or heads will roll!
Annnnnd that's all she wrote. I apologize for the brevity, although I did make up for it in my last entry... just know that life is good, my friends. I miss and love you all.