I am crap.
Having a crap couple of days, no reason.
Lots of horrible things coming up - research group social gathering (was supposed to be going to mum's that day, probably don't have to but she'll make me feel guilty), maths conference, the ongoing lack of a job. People keep hassling me about that and about my research, nobody seems to believe me that I just can't do it any more.
I keep forgetting things. Forgot to go to a seminar. Forgot to take cake out of oven (was baking for a church event, what am I supposed to do now?) I can't play music from memory like I always used to. A couple of times this year I've even forgotten to teach or turned up at totally the wrong time. Also forget to pass on information, announce stuff to classes. Forget people's birthdays. (s**t I think my mum was rambling something about a stepfamily birthday and I should send a card.... who was it? Do I have the address? Do I know these people? Do I have to care?) I agree to do things and then forget that something clashes. I miss deadlines.
Conference soon, dreading that.
Flatmate going away soon, for 5 weeks. Didn't cope too well last time he went away for only 3. Hmmm.
I wish people would stop hassling me. And that they would stop saying hurtful things in my hearing, that I ought to respond to only I haven't the energy. I just let them do stuff cos it's the easier route.
I want to hibernate.
Lots of horrible things coming up - research group social gathering (was supposed to be going to mum's that day, probably don't have to but she'll make me feel guilty), maths conference, the ongoing lack of a job. People keep hassling me about that and about my research, nobody seems to believe me that I just can't do it any more.
I keep forgetting things. Forgot to go to a seminar. Forgot to take cake out of oven (was baking for a church event, what am I supposed to do now?) I can't play music from memory like I always used to. A couple of times this year I've even forgotten to teach or turned up at totally the wrong time. Also forget to pass on information, announce stuff to classes. Forget people's birthdays. (s**t I think my mum was rambling something about a stepfamily birthday and I should send a card.... who was it? Do I have the address? Do I know these people? Do I have to care?) I agree to do things and then forget that something clashes. I miss deadlines.
Conference soon, dreading that.
Flatmate going away soon, for 5 weeks. Didn't cope too well last time he went away for only 3. Hmmm.
I wish people would stop hassling me. And that they would stop saying hurtful things in my hearing, that I ought to respond to only I haven't the energy. I just let them do stuff cos it's the easier route.
I want to hibernate.