The boy behind the door [always half of a whole] (2)
Title: The boy behind the door [always half of a whole]
Fandom: Kinki Kids
Pairing: Tsuyoshi/Koichi
Rating: up to NC-17 eventually
Summary: It is Koichi's job to make Tsuyoshi's life go according to plan, but what if he is the very reason that changes everything?
On the other side of the wall, in the big library, Higashiyama awaits him, Hideaki at his side.
Hideaki looks as if he has just bitten into a lemon, and he throws Koichi a glance that is probably supposed to convey honest regret before quickly looking down again.
"It seems you've had... contact with your human," Higashiyama says slowly, his usual friendly smile turning into something barely threatening in case Koichi wasn't aware before that he got himself into trouble.
"Would you care to tell me what happened during your exchange, or why you deemed it necessary in the first place?"
Koichi stays silent. He knows he has broken the rules and he is not going to give Higashiyama any satisfaction in attempting to soften the blow.
The men in suits are not omnipotent. They have the plan and their doors, but the less Koichi tells any of them, the less they will be able to anticipate what is going to happen next now that Tsuyoshi's plan is completely off track.
Higashiyama straightens his suit and his smile finally vanishes for good.
"I didn't think so."
He flicks his wrist and two men step forth, one of them holding Koichi in place while the other one searches him.
"You are here by issued an official warning for breaking the first rule. As per standard procedure, a recalibration will be initiated. Upon the second warning your reassignment will be warranted, as well as a square-one reset of your subject."
Koichi begins to struggle, but the man pulls the paper with Tsuyoshi's number from his jacket pocket and hands it to Higashiyama.
"A phone number? How endearing."
He pulls a lighter out of his pocket and sets fire to it.
"Trust me, Koichi-san," he says when Koichi begins to struggle harder, "This is for the best."
As soon as the note is nothing but a faint heap of ashes on the floor, the man lets go of Koichi, who sags bonelessly to his knees.
Higashiyama signals for Hideaki.
"Take him to your quarters."
They leave, and Hideaki slowly kneels down in front of Koichi.
He attempts to touch the other man's shoulder, but is instantly shrugged off.
"Look, I'm sorry," he tries, "I thought you were in trouble! We all know it's forbidden to make contact, but I saw you and then you were gone for so long and I got worried, so I told him."
Koichi gets up, rubbing a weary hand over his face.
It's when they walk through the halls that Hideaki finally dares to speak up again.
Koichi has tried very hard not to be angry at him because he knows he is telling the truth, that he was just worried and above all, that Hideaki is still one of many who idealistically follow the plan because it is all they know, but even looking at it from this angle doesn't keep the searing pain of betrayal away that he currently feels.
"Why did you make contact with him, though?" Hideaki asks, glancing at him from the side,
"I know you must have wanted to. You are famous for not slipping up in all these years, so I figured you must have done this on purpose. What is your business with him?"
Koichi's head snaps towards him and he stops dead in his tracks, the anger back with a sudden unprecedented force.
"Do you really think you are in any position to ask me this now? Do you really think I trust you enough to discuss anything with you now? Who do you think you are? What do you think this is, a game?!"
He doesn't even bother to keep his voice low, and then proceeds to drag the startled Hideaki towards their quarters by the elbow.
"Why are you so angry?" Hideaki yelps, "How can you even get this angry?"
Anger is one of the emotions the men in suits are not taught. It is not beneficial to their task in any way, dead emotional weight that humans carry around with them, and those who feel it have copied it from their subjects and are often deemed imperfect, biased, broken.
Koichi has been able to feel anger ever since the accident, but he kept it hidden, much like all the other small ways in which he started feeling for Tsuyoshi.
"Now you listen to me," Koichi growls and pushes him into the room,
"You know where your loyalties lie. So tell me now, what are you to Tsubasa? What are you to little Imai Tsubasa currently eight years old, while you hang around here, ageless and useless to him, while he falls off trees and breaks his ankle?"
Hideaki's eyes flit wildly around for a moment before he looks down.
"I am the only person that can take care of him. And he is the only person for me."
"That is what they teach us, every single one of us, and then they teach us pride, and so we watch them and forget that not we are the ones who take care of them, the plan does. We do nothing while they are moved around like pawns on a chess board."
Koichi pauses to look at Hideaki, willing him to understand.
"But Tsubasa is special. He is special, and that's why he's got you. His life is going to be extraordinary, and you are supposed to support him every step of the way.
I believed all of this until they forced me to cause Tsuyoshi pain. Him, my only friend! What good did it do him?
Why am I not allowed to be there for him just like any other human is?"
Hideaki's hands are balled up into fists when he finally looks up at Koichi to answer him.
"Because you're not human."
Koichi stops, frozen, but then grabs the book with Tsuyoshi's plan from his bag.
"Look at this. There is no plan any more!" he shouts and throws the book into the air for Hideaki to catch.
"Total chaos, and yet we are all still alive! Nothing has changed!"
Hideaki turns the pages, suddenly gasping loudly.
"I think you're wrong."
He turns the book towards Koichi.
There are no lines any more, no inflection points, only the small black dot that represents Tsuyoshi.
Next to that however, a white dot has appeared on the yellowish paper.
"Koichi... I think you're becoming human."
**
Koichi lies on his bed and thinks about becoming human.
He doesn't know what it means, can't make sense of it - he only knows of humans what he has witnessed, is in no way fit to call himself one and yet there he is, an individual with importance to another man's plan.
He could stop now. Tsuyoshi could be reset and become an entirely new person, a disoriented small speck of dust in the width of the universe, and someone else could take care of him, could do it right this time, while Koichi is reassigned to take care of someone else, someone he would never be able to care for.
No, he thinks to himself, because humans do not exist to be meddled with, to be wiped clean like whiteboards, there is more to each of them, and Tsuyoshi is perfect the way he is.
There are a lot of people on earth who are just generally monitored, either because they are not destined for greatness, or because their decision-making fits seamlessly into the plan, and just like there are two kinds of humans, there are two kinds of the men in suits as well, specialised people like Koichi, and those who are affectionately called the 'office drones', because their world, too, is a structured company.
Unfortunately many of these office workers, despite the fact that they are irreplaceable and highly efficient workers, have a bad reputation.
With too many mistakes, you might be degraded to one, or you might never have made it to Koichi's rank in the first place.
One of these people is Koichi's friend Tomoya.
Tomoya and him had begun training at the same time, and Tomoya had been assigned to now-famous actress Aibu Saki.
Tomoya has always been clumsy, and thus he was caught by her several times until he was finally put into the office.
Tomoya is a cheerful person, but Koichi can tell that he misses Saki, judging by the way he sometimes touches the walls, his ability to see the doors forever lost, or how he sometimes turns and tells Koichi in all confidence and honesty, "I liked her. I wish her the best."
If there is one person who can help Koichi stop the recalibration, it's Tomoya.
**
Recalibration entails not the changing of the subjects mind, but enabling small changes in his environment.
Just one small change of heart can change entire conversations, the way advice might be given or received.
Koichi knows the person Tsuyoshi would go to for advice, and he knows him well, but not enough to figure out where he might go, where they would be waiting for him.
He jogs through the corridors to the massive offices, where people are sitting in cubicles and checked on by a section chief.
Tomoya was recently named one of them, was allowed to swap his cubicle for a large desk and an important-looking badge, but his attitude hasn't changed one bit.
"Koichi!" he exclaims happily when he notices him, "It's been a while since you have visited me down here, how have you been?"
Koichi decides to skip the pleasantries in favour of getting what he came for.
"You know very well that I have been issued a warning this morning," he says offhandedly and sits down on the edge of Tomoya's desk.
He leans forward, his nails scratching the polished wood.
"I need your help."
Tomoya sighs.
"You know I'm not allowed to help you."
"Just tell me where I can find Okada-san. No one watches over him, they won't be able to tell I was involved."
"Koichi, stop it, don't end up like me. It's not worth it."
Koichi leans in even more closely.
"You know better than anyone else that they are worth everything."
Tomoya looks at him as if he is still weighing the truth in Koichi's words, but finally his shoulders sag.
"Odaiba. The TV station. He is already on the way, and so are they."
Koichi starts running.
**
He wrenches open door after door, sometimes picking the wrong one in a hurry.
Umejima, Suidobashi, Edogawa, it is all a blur of subway stations and random buildings, up above, below the ground, close to the sea and farther away again, but he finally finds the right door and sees Okada get out of a car and turn a corner.
Koichi checks his watch.
Time has no meaning for him, but within the human realm, operations need to be timed by the minute, and seeing as it is now five minutes to eleven in the morning, he assumes the recalibration is supposed to begin at eleven, and not a minute later.
Koichi doesn't even have to distract Okada for a long time, and yet he knows him well enough, knows that he really has to capture his interest, otherwise...
Fandom: Kinki Kids
Pairing: Tsuyoshi/Koichi
Rating: up to NC-17 eventually
Summary: It is Koichi's job to make Tsuyoshi's life go according to plan, but what if he is the very reason that changes everything?
On the other side of the wall, in the big library, Higashiyama awaits him, Hideaki at his side.
Hideaki looks as if he has just bitten into a lemon, and he throws Koichi a glance that is probably supposed to convey honest regret before quickly looking down again.
"It seems you've had... contact with your human," Higashiyama says slowly, his usual friendly smile turning into something barely threatening in case Koichi wasn't aware before that he got himself into trouble.
"Would you care to tell me what happened during your exchange, or why you deemed it necessary in the first place?"
Koichi stays silent. He knows he has broken the rules and he is not going to give Higashiyama any satisfaction in attempting to soften the blow.
The men in suits are not omnipotent. They have the plan and their doors, but the less Koichi tells any of them, the less they will be able to anticipate what is going to happen next now that Tsuyoshi's plan is completely off track.
Higashiyama straightens his suit and his smile finally vanishes for good.
"I didn't think so."
He flicks his wrist and two men step forth, one of them holding Koichi in place while the other one searches him.
"You are here by issued an official warning for breaking the first rule. As per standard procedure, a recalibration will be initiated. Upon the second warning your reassignment will be warranted, as well as a square-one reset of your subject."
Koichi begins to struggle, but the man pulls the paper with Tsuyoshi's number from his jacket pocket and hands it to Higashiyama.
"A phone number? How endearing."
He pulls a lighter out of his pocket and sets fire to it.
"Trust me, Koichi-san," he says when Koichi begins to struggle harder, "This is for the best."
As soon as the note is nothing but a faint heap of ashes on the floor, the man lets go of Koichi, who sags bonelessly to his knees.
Higashiyama signals for Hideaki.
"Take him to your quarters."
They leave, and Hideaki slowly kneels down in front of Koichi.
He attempts to touch the other man's shoulder, but is instantly shrugged off.
"Look, I'm sorry," he tries, "I thought you were in trouble! We all know it's forbidden to make contact, but I saw you and then you were gone for so long and I got worried, so I told him."
Koichi gets up, rubbing a weary hand over his face.
It's when they walk through the halls that Hideaki finally dares to speak up again.
Koichi has tried very hard not to be angry at him because he knows he is telling the truth, that he was just worried and above all, that Hideaki is still one of many who idealistically follow the plan because it is all they know, but even looking at it from this angle doesn't keep the searing pain of betrayal away that he currently feels.
"Why did you make contact with him, though?" Hideaki asks, glancing at him from the side,
"I know you must have wanted to. You are famous for not slipping up in all these years, so I figured you must have done this on purpose. What is your business with him?"
Koichi's head snaps towards him and he stops dead in his tracks, the anger back with a sudden unprecedented force.
"Do you really think you are in any position to ask me this now? Do you really think I trust you enough to discuss anything with you now? Who do you think you are? What do you think this is, a game?!"
He doesn't even bother to keep his voice low, and then proceeds to drag the startled Hideaki towards their quarters by the elbow.
"Why are you so angry?" Hideaki yelps, "How can you even get this angry?"
Anger is one of the emotions the men in suits are not taught. It is not beneficial to their task in any way, dead emotional weight that humans carry around with them, and those who feel it have copied it from their subjects and are often deemed imperfect, biased, broken.
Koichi has been able to feel anger ever since the accident, but he kept it hidden, much like all the other small ways in which he started feeling for Tsuyoshi.
"Now you listen to me," Koichi growls and pushes him into the room,
"You know where your loyalties lie. So tell me now, what are you to Tsubasa? What are you to little Imai Tsubasa currently eight years old, while you hang around here, ageless and useless to him, while he falls off trees and breaks his ankle?"
Hideaki's eyes flit wildly around for a moment before he looks down.
"I am the only person that can take care of him. And he is the only person for me."
"That is what they teach us, every single one of us, and then they teach us pride, and so we watch them and forget that not we are the ones who take care of them, the plan does. We do nothing while they are moved around like pawns on a chess board."
Koichi pauses to look at Hideaki, willing him to understand.
"But Tsubasa is special. He is special, and that's why he's got you. His life is going to be extraordinary, and you are supposed to support him every step of the way.
I believed all of this until they forced me to cause Tsuyoshi pain. Him, my only friend! What good did it do him?
Why am I not allowed to be there for him just like any other human is?"
Hideaki's hands are balled up into fists when he finally looks up at Koichi to answer him.
"Because you're not human."
Koichi stops, frozen, but then grabs the book with Tsuyoshi's plan from his bag.
"Look at this. There is no plan any more!" he shouts and throws the book into the air for Hideaki to catch.
"Total chaos, and yet we are all still alive! Nothing has changed!"
Hideaki turns the pages, suddenly gasping loudly.
"I think you're wrong."
He turns the book towards Koichi.
There are no lines any more, no inflection points, only the small black dot that represents Tsuyoshi.
Next to that however, a white dot has appeared on the yellowish paper.
"Koichi... I think you're becoming human."
**
Koichi lies on his bed and thinks about becoming human.
He doesn't know what it means, can't make sense of it - he only knows of humans what he has witnessed, is in no way fit to call himself one and yet there he is, an individual with importance to another man's plan.
He could stop now. Tsuyoshi could be reset and become an entirely new person, a disoriented small speck of dust in the width of the universe, and someone else could take care of him, could do it right this time, while Koichi is reassigned to take care of someone else, someone he would never be able to care for.
No, he thinks to himself, because humans do not exist to be meddled with, to be wiped clean like whiteboards, there is more to each of them, and Tsuyoshi is perfect the way he is.
There are a lot of people on earth who are just generally monitored, either because they are not destined for greatness, or because their decision-making fits seamlessly into the plan, and just like there are two kinds of humans, there are two kinds of the men in suits as well, specialised people like Koichi, and those who are affectionately called the 'office drones', because their world, too, is a structured company.
Unfortunately many of these office workers, despite the fact that they are irreplaceable and highly efficient workers, have a bad reputation.
With too many mistakes, you might be degraded to one, or you might never have made it to Koichi's rank in the first place.
One of these people is Koichi's friend Tomoya.
Tomoya and him had begun training at the same time, and Tomoya had been assigned to now-famous actress Aibu Saki.
Tomoya has always been clumsy, and thus he was caught by her several times until he was finally put into the office.
Tomoya is a cheerful person, but Koichi can tell that he misses Saki, judging by the way he sometimes touches the walls, his ability to see the doors forever lost, or how he sometimes turns and tells Koichi in all confidence and honesty, "I liked her. I wish her the best."
If there is one person who can help Koichi stop the recalibration, it's Tomoya.
**
Recalibration entails not the changing of the subjects mind, but enabling small changes in his environment.
Just one small change of heart can change entire conversations, the way advice might be given or received.
Koichi knows the person Tsuyoshi would go to for advice, and he knows him well, but not enough to figure out where he might go, where they would be waiting for him.
He jogs through the corridors to the massive offices, where people are sitting in cubicles and checked on by a section chief.
Tomoya was recently named one of them, was allowed to swap his cubicle for a large desk and an important-looking badge, but his attitude hasn't changed one bit.
"Koichi!" he exclaims happily when he notices him, "It's been a while since you have visited me down here, how have you been?"
Koichi decides to skip the pleasantries in favour of getting what he came for.
"You know very well that I have been issued a warning this morning," he says offhandedly and sits down on the edge of Tomoya's desk.
He leans forward, his nails scratching the polished wood.
"I need your help."
Tomoya sighs.
"You know I'm not allowed to help you."
"Just tell me where I can find Okada-san. No one watches over him, they won't be able to tell I was involved."
"Koichi, stop it, don't end up like me. It's not worth it."
Koichi leans in even more closely.
"You know better than anyone else that they are worth everything."
Tomoya looks at him as if he is still weighing the truth in Koichi's words, but finally his shoulders sag.
"Odaiba. The TV station. He is already on the way, and so are they."
Koichi starts running.
**
He wrenches open door after door, sometimes picking the wrong one in a hurry.
Umejima, Suidobashi, Edogawa, it is all a blur of subway stations and random buildings, up above, below the ground, close to the sea and farther away again, but he finally finds the right door and sees Okada get out of a car and turn a corner.
Koichi checks his watch.
Time has no meaning for him, but within the human realm, operations need to be timed by the minute, and seeing as it is now five minutes to eleven in the morning, he assumes the recalibration is supposed to begin at eleven, and not a minute later.
Koichi doesn't even have to distract Okada for a long time, and yet he knows him well enough, knows that he really has to capture his interest, otherwise...