last night's dream, etc
I got on the treadmill yesterday, I found that I can jog about a quarter mile, okay - not my best, but a start. it's nice to feel my legs a little achey today. a good start. now I just need a scale.
I dreampt I was going back to Geneseo for a one a year pow-wow with former and future studies. When I arrived I knew no one but had a big blue box of what I've been working on in graduate school. I was at a bench waiting, the box was heavy and I needed to put it down somewhere - and just then I saw Peri who was wearing the crest on a long sleeved navy blue shirt and Dana who were happy to greet me; but as we all walked together to our buildings to reconvene and build on our knowledge, I was left alone at the back of the pack. I had my schedule in front of me, but it was difficult to know if I was supposed to go back to the Foreign Language classroom or to a sociology classroom. I started in building C in classroom 117, and Karen was there and Logan showed up about the same time I did. There was an unknown male instructor and a bunch of kids sitting on the opposite side of the room who I didn't recognize. By the time Dr Evans arrived in the classroom I knew I needed to go to the sociology class and turned my back to her so she couldn't/wouldn't see me and I put on my long coat over my two layers, hiked up my big blue box and took off. It was raining so slightly as Geneseo is wont to do and the skies were gray and overcast, no sunlight, but enough light so that lamp posts weren't lit. I walked laboriously through some classes, most notable was the music reunion with one professor on a headset/microphone and kids who were upset that they couldn't get into Syracuse because they weren't popular or pretty enough. I walked past one overweight girl who dressed awkwardly and was starting to ask an obnoxious question and then arrived at a ramp where a young couple was descending it with their small chihuahua-esque dog. I tried to ascend the ramp and slid down it on my belly; it was slick. After removing my shoes and socks I did it, always laboriously as I had to carry that big blue box filled with my work and everything I was bringing to the table. I got outside, back into the rain, and took out my light blue map with the different buildings and room assignments and learned that I had to find building A, room 110. It took quite some time to get there, in getting lost between mislettered buildings, [A]BCE all in one; B perpendicular to that and covered in green moss. I got the hint from a group of three of four people smoking that I did want to be in the building in front of me with the letter A in brackets and on its side. I walked in, upset that I was now late, pissed that I was missing valuable information and feeling like an outcasted failure because I felt like the only one who didn't carry through with my undergrad major. It took a few frantic minutes to race down the brown hall with the burnt sienna carpets and at the end I turned left (only way to go) and walked down the stairs into the classroom - a man had just walked in before me and I was excited to think that he was also a student who was late, but he was one of the professors. I entered, found that the seats were big couches, some black leather in 6in by 6in pleated squares, others just large with the 'worn in' comfortable look. While I wanted to choose the open leather seat right on my left, I chose a more worn in seat and found myself looking at the professor who was reading a passage from a book the class was discussing. I didn't have the book or the courage to ask to look on with someone or have my own copy. As the professor read the phallic nature popped right out of the book (quite literally became a cartoon in my head) and I looked around the room to see one gay man and an androgynous girl or two and felt instantly at home. It almost made me forget my regret for not being with my foreign language friends, but not quite. We had a great discussion in class, and five minutes later it was over. The male professor who had entered just before me came over with what looked like the light blue lined paper that I'd written notes/an essay on and I said prematurely, "oh yeah that's mine" but it was actually his paper with my name on it, Logan's name on it and someone else. And I thought to myself, "oh how funny, Logan's supposed to be here and he's not." So class ended, the student's spoke with their former professor and I wanted to stick around and be known as the new, up and coming student with great potential, but instead I left to go home. By this time the box was too heavy to lift and it was slushy snowing. So I put it down and started pushing it towards my car. I wasn't looking forward to driving home at night, in the dark, even though it was just daytime. A man in a car followed me and tried to talk to me, but I ignored him. At the last stoplight that I needed to be at before heading towards my car, a bunch of my foreign language friends were there and the professor and they offered an encore class. I accepted. This time Karen and Kristy were there and I was talking to them seeing how the first session went, if they'd learned anything, knowing that Dr Evans was behind me and wondering if she'd noticed that the black sheep was in front of her, anxious to have one more lecture with her. Instead of slick high heels, I had roller blades on this time - it was certainly more fun, and my blue box was gone, left elsewhere, perhaps at the last light but the heavy, damp layers of clothing remained. We worked our way up to the second story and I squeezed myself between a railing and this new selection of cd's and continued up to another ramp where I got stuck as my roller blades couldn't handle going up in such a fashion. I asked Jenny to pull me up and she helped, then we all trodded back to room 117 where I was excited to see how it would play out with the professor. I sat behind Kristy and Karen, and the professor looked just as she did when I first started at Geneseo, hair slightly grey and pulled back in a headband. It eneded up being too much for me and so I left, and as I drove away I saw her counseling students in her office, leading them to the next level...
I dreampt I was going back to Geneseo for a one a year pow-wow with former and future studies. When I arrived I knew no one but had a big blue box of what I've been working on in graduate school. I was at a bench waiting, the box was heavy and I needed to put it down somewhere - and just then I saw Peri who was wearing the crest on a long sleeved navy blue shirt and Dana who were happy to greet me; but as we all walked together to our buildings to reconvene and build on our knowledge, I was left alone at the back of the pack. I had my schedule in front of me, but it was difficult to know if I was supposed to go back to the Foreign Language classroom or to a sociology classroom. I started in building C in classroom 117, and Karen was there and Logan showed up about the same time I did. There was an unknown male instructor and a bunch of kids sitting on the opposite side of the room who I didn't recognize. By the time Dr Evans arrived in the classroom I knew I needed to go to the sociology class and turned my back to her so she couldn't/wouldn't see me and I put on my long coat over my two layers, hiked up my big blue box and took off. It was raining so slightly as Geneseo is wont to do and the skies were gray and overcast, no sunlight, but enough light so that lamp posts weren't lit. I walked laboriously through some classes, most notable was the music reunion with one professor on a headset/microphone and kids who were upset that they couldn't get into Syracuse because they weren't popular or pretty enough. I walked past one overweight girl who dressed awkwardly and was starting to ask an obnoxious question and then arrived at a ramp where a young couple was descending it with their small chihuahua-esque dog. I tried to ascend the ramp and slid down it on my belly; it was slick. After removing my shoes and socks I did it, always laboriously as I had to carry that big blue box filled with my work and everything I was bringing to the table. I got outside, back into the rain, and took out my light blue map with the different buildings and room assignments and learned that I had to find building A, room 110. It took quite some time to get there, in getting lost between mislettered buildings, [A]BCE all in one; B perpendicular to that and covered in green moss. I got the hint from a group of three of four people smoking that I did want to be in the building in front of me with the letter A in brackets and on its side. I walked in, upset that I was now late, pissed that I was missing valuable information and feeling like an outcasted failure because I felt like the only one who didn't carry through with my undergrad major. It took a few frantic minutes to race down the brown hall with the burnt sienna carpets and at the end I turned left (only way to go) and walked down the stairs into the classroom - a man had just walked in before me and I was excited to think that he was also a student who was late, but he was one of the professors. I entered, found that the seats were big couches, some black leather in 6in by 6in pleated squares, others just large with the 'worn in' comfortable look. While I wanted to choose the open leather seat right on my left, I chose a more worn in seat and found myself looking at the professor who was reading a passage from a book the class was discussing. I didn't have the book or the courage to ask to look on with someone or have my own copy. As the professor read the phallic nature popped right out of the book (quite literally became a cartoon in my head) and I looked around the room to see one gay man and an androgynous girl or two and felt instantly at home. It almost made me forget my regret for not being with my foreign language friends, but not quite. We had a great discussion in class, and five minutes later it was over. The male professor who had entered just before me came over with what looked like the light blue lined paper that I'd written notes/an essay on and I said prematurely, "oh yeah that's mine" but it was actually his paper with my name on it, Logan's name on it and someone else. And I thought to myself, "oh how funny, Logan's supposed to be here and he's not." So class ended, the student's spoke with their former professor and I wanted to stick around and be known as the new, up and coming student with great potential, but instead I left to go home. By this time the box was too heavy to lift and it was slushy snowing. So I put it down and started pushing it towards my car. I wasn't looking forward to driving home at night, in the dark, even though it was just daytime. A man in a car followed me and tried to talk to me, but I ignored him. At the last stoplight that I needed to be at before heading towards my car, a bunch of my foreign language friends were there and the professor and they offered an encore class. I accepted. This time Karen and Kristy were there and I was talking to them seeing how the first session went, if they'd learned anything, knowing that Dr Evans was behind me and wondering if she'd noticed that the black sheep was in front of her, anxious to have one more lecture with her. Instead of slick high heels, I had roller blades on this time - it was certainly more fun, and my blue box was gone, left elsewhere, perhaps at the last light but the heavy, damp layers of clothing remained. We worked our way up to the second story and I squeezed myself between a railing and this new selection of cd's and continued up to another ramp where I got stuck as my roller blades couldn't handle going up in such a fashion. I asked Jenny to pull me up and she helped, then we all trodded back to room 117 where I was excited to see how it would play out with the professor. I sat behind Kristy and Karen, and the professor looked just as she did when I first started at Geneseo, hair slightly grey and pulled back in a headband. It eneded up being too much for me and so I left, and as I drove away I saw her counseling students in her office, leading them to the next level...