stereotypes exist for a reason
/begin rant and social observation/
a close friend of mine spurred my thoughts on this...and i guess it has grown to the point of needing to say something about it.
the argument is the same...we hear it all the time...but seriously, why in the FUCK do girls love douchebag guys? sure sure, the small percentage of girls will tell me "oh no, don't lump ME into that category..." but whatever. MOST girls. not ALL, but close enough.
or now...just call me bitter and cynical...tell me that it is just ME, that my standards are so high and i project them onto the girls i know...tell me how i will mock and berate any guy that a girl friend of mine dates...or likes...sure. that stance is totally unfounded though...i have plenty of girl friends that date guys that i like. those guys actually treat their girlfriends with respect and are decent dudes, not fucking loser douchebag manipulative asshats.
ok lets cover some of the basics that i hear...
"oh well, he's totally different when it's just me and him alone"
yeah? no shit? you think that's because he's trying to get laid? oh no, it's because he's such a great guy, he wants to be your friend, he really cares about your feelings and what makes you "you" right? yeah, that must be it. his personal interest in you can only take form when you two are alone together, never in public and never around other people. fuck off, get a clue.
"he's just not very affectionate in public"
wait, so, him telling you that you can't touch him in public means that he's not affectionate? you can't hold hands, you can't hug, can't kiss, you have to walk 10 feet behind him....yeah. i see where this is going. your proximity will just embarass him because he's shy, right? yeah, or maybe because he doesn't want anyone to know that he bangs you when no one is looking?
"he did really nice things for me today, he even called me!"
wow...emphasis on "today" huh? why not do nice things for you ALL the time? oh yeah...phone calls and texts don't qualify as markers for liking you. well, not 100% at least. those are typical forms of communication...and should be used on a regular basis, not at 2:30am to say "i wanna see you...." but don't believe me. i know, he was just busy with his friends, he already had plans, but at least he's nice enough to call you after he's done with all that stuff! you're so lucky, he wants to come over and fuck you! that's a perfect relationship...he gets to go out with friends and have fun, you get to sit at home and jump when he calls you!
"oh he's just friends with that girl, she has a crush on him but he doesn't like her that way"
right.....you know, i figured this would be a given, but apparently not. a guy is blowing you off to go see another girl and you think that he doesn't have interest in her? you girls have to know better than that...but please, notice the inclusion of "blowing you off" for her. and of course...he will always tell you how much that girl likes HIM, but he doesn't feel that way. you ever notice that you get a little jealous when you hear that? oh wow...that girl likes him, hmm, maybe i should be a little more aggressive, if SHE likes him, he must have SOMETHING that girls want! such simple manipulation... a guy is allowed to have platonic friendships with girls, but if you're playing second fiddle to those girls...that's a red flag.
"i don't really like him, it's just convenient and we are both having fun"
haha....yeah...sure...pull the other one. you seriously want to tell me you're dwelling over this dude and how you feel like he's mistreating you but you don't "LIKE" him? it's just sex right? you couldn't possibly harbor any emotions toward him, no way. oh you don't? i think they have names for girls like that...the ones that just sleep with dudes because they can.
ughh. sorry, this is a little one-sided toward women being stupid, i know, but trust me...i'm not overlooking the other side. obviously these conversations and situations wouldn't even take place if guys weren't manipulative pricks.
and now, the beauty of this is...the vast majority of girls LOVE guys that are crass, manipulative, demanding, possessive, jerkish, etc. some little button is pressed making you think that you're going to be the one that changes him, the one that tames him, the one that breaks him. so what happens? you try...you get hurt...and you don't learn. again, some of you do, and some of you don't date these guys. but again...MOST of you do. oooh the bad boy attitude...look at how he doesn't even care or call me back! that's so awesome...he has sex with me so that must mean he loves me...even though he'd never say it outloud...he doesn't have to say a word, i can tell by the way he rolls over and falls asleep that he loves me...he just wants his space and doesn't like to cuddle...
but what happens when a girl finds out a guy is a prick? she doesn't run. she tries. he must be complicated and unique if he's that much of a dickhead. oooh i must meet him and get to know him...
honestly, how does one compete? i'd like to think i'm a pretty good person, i tend to hold myself above that stereotypical "guy" attitude and demeanor. i have my moments...but overall, i'm usually quite different than most guys and even most PEOPLE in general. so, what do i do? when our girls are out chasing jerks and complaining that there are no good guys left, what do we do?
i'll tell you what you do...you date the assholes, you get yourself hurt, and you call guys like me and vent. then...you tell us you wish you could meet a guy just like "us."
it's such a lovely pattern...and i'll watch you repeat it until you get it right. well, hopefully you'll get it right. as sarcastic as i may be when you've revealed your repetition, it still hurts to know another guy has gotten away with the game.
don't question why you can't meet a wonderful guy when you have them all around you. you're just too blind to see.
/end rant and social observation/
a close friend of mine spurred my thoughts on this...and i guess it has grown to the point of needing to say something about it.
the argument is the same...we hear it all the time...but seriously, why in the FUCK do girls love douchebag guys? sure sure, the small percentage of girls will tell me "oh no, don't lump ME into that category..." but whatever. MOST girls. not ALL, but close enough.
or now...just call me bitter and cynical...tell me that it is just ME, that my standards are so high and i project them onto the girls i know...tell me how i will mock and berate any guy that a girl friend of mine dates...or likes...sure. that stance is totally unfounded though...i have plenty of girl friends that date guys that i like. those guys actually treat their girlfriends with respect and are decent dudes, not fucking loser douchebag manipulative asshats.
ok lets cover some of the basics that i hear...
"oh well, he's totally different when it's just me and him alone"
yeah? no shit? you think that's because he's trying to get laid? oh no, it's because he's such a great guy, he wants to be your friend, he really cares about your feelings and what makes you "you" right? yeah, that must be it. his personal interest in you can only take form when you two are alone together, never in public and never around other people. fuck off, get a clue.
"he's just not very affectionate in public"
wait, so, him telling you that you can't touch him in public means that he's not affectionate? you can't hold hands, you can't hug, can't kiss, you have to walk 10 feet behind him....yeah. i see where this is going. your proximity will just embarass him because he's shy, right? yeah, or maybe because he doesn't want anyone to know that he bangs you when no one is looking?
"he did really nice things for me today, he even called me!"
wow...emphasis on "today" huh? why not do nice things for you ALL the time? oh yeah...phone calls and texts don't qualify as markers for liking you. well, not 100% at least. those are typical forms of communication...and should be used on a regular basis, not at 2:30am to say "i wanna see you...." but don't believe me. i know, he was just busy with his friends, he already had plans, but at least he's nice enough to call you after he's done with all that stuff! you're so lucky, he wants to come over and fuck you! that's a perfect relationship...he gets to go out with friends and have fun, you get to sit at home and jump when he calls you!
"oh he's just friends with that girl, she has a crush on him but he doesn't like her that way"
right.....you know, i figured this would be a given, but apparently not. a guy is blowing you off to go see another girl and you think that he doesn't have interest in her? you girls have to know better than that...but please, notice the inclusion of "blowing you off" for her. and of course...he will always tell you how much that girl likes HIM, but he doesn't feel that way. you ever notice that you get a little jealous when you hear that? oh wow...that girl likes him, hmm, maybe i should be a little more aggressive, if SHE likes him, he must have SOMETHING that girls want! such simple manipulation... a guy is allowed to have platonic friendships with girls, but if you're playing second fiddle to those girls...that's a red flag.
"i don't really like him, it's just convenient and we are both having fun"
haha....yeah...sure...pull the other one. you seriously want to tell me you're dwelling over this dude and how you feel like he's mistreating you but you don't "LIKE" him? it's just sex right? you couldn't possibly harbor any emotions toward him, no way. oh you don't? i think they have names for girls like that...the ones that just sleep with dudes because they can.
ughh. sorry, this is a little one-sided toward women being stupid, i know, but trust me...i'm not overlooking the other side. obviously these conversations and situations wouldn't even take place if guys weren't manipulative pricks.
and now, the beauty of this is...the vast majority of girls LOVE guys that are crass, manipulative, demanding, possessive, jerkish, etc. some little button is pressed making you think that you're going to be the one that changes him, the one that tames him, the one that breaks him. so what happens? you try...you get hurt...and you don't learn. again, some of you do, and some of you don't date these guys. but again...MOST of you do. oooh the bad boy attitude...look at how he doesn't even care or call me back! that's so awesome...he has sex with me so that must mean he loves me...even though he'd never say it outloud...he doesn't have to say a word, i can tell by the way he rolls over and falls asleep that he loves me...he just wants his space and doesn't like to cuddle...
but what happens when a girl finds out a guy is a prick? she doesn't run. she tries. he must be complicated and unique if he's that much of a dickhead. oooh i must meet him and get to know him...
honestly, how does one compete? i'd like to think i'm a pretty good person, i tend to hold myself above that stereotypical "guy" attitude and demeanor. i have my moments...but overall, i'm usually quite different than most guys and even most PEOPLE in general. so, what do i do? when our girls are out chasing jerks and complaining that there are no good guys left, what do we do?
i'll tell you what you do...you date the assholes, you get yourself hurt, and you call guys like me and vent. then...you tell us you wish you could meet a guy just like "us."
it's such a lovely pattern...and i'll watch you repeat it until you get it right. well, hopefully you'll get it right. as sarcastic as i may be when you've revealed your repetition, it still hurts to know another guy has gotten away with the game.
don't question why you can't meet a wonderful guy when you have them all around you. you're just too blind to see.
/end rant and social observation/