you're not the only one.
its not what you think.
there was a person from my past that meant a lot to me, which is hard for me to say considering the circumstances, but she did. it was little time spent, but the time was great for what it was. and in that time, there were things i had said that were true...real...meaningful...whatever. some of the things i said were dramatic, some of it possibly "too good to be true" type statements. maybe they were. point is, they were all true. i never said an untrue thing to this person, and at the end of the sojourn we had together, i was told that it was all a lie. i was accused of saying what she wanted to hear. i was condemned for not "posting it online" which therefore made it untrue. i write everything online, i have for several years now. every thought, every emotion, every little thing that is meaningful to me....i post about it. this one instance though, i didn't. regretful? no. i know that what i said was true, but i'll never convince her otherwise. and...no, right now i don't care. doesn't matter. but...i'm not letting it happen again...my thoughts are going to be posted, although some may be masked or generalized.
the things i say are not meant to queer friendships, they aren't professions of love and adoration, and they are by no means holding direct intention of alluring someone or changing their minds.
you're allowed to see a glimpse of my soul. it's fragile...but no more than anyone elses. probably less than anyone elses. i keep my heart fractured, i never let it heal. don't think that any of you are going to damage me or break me down, and don't any of you start acting weird or different just because i express some fancy or interest in you beyond friendship. those things are fleeting. i'll change my mind tomorrow and find some passing lust in another face.
several of my closest friends have been girls i've found to shine, it doesn't change a thing about my attitude and friendship toward them. there are more than one of you right now, and one that is holding my heart above all others. sadly, she's one that doens't even read my words and doesn't know about the few subtle and hidden things i've said about her. i know that my feelings aren't unappreciated. i know my words don't fall on empty souls and deaf ears. everything i say impacts everyone in some small fashion, and that's all that matters to me. i'm not holding back and i'm not pulling away from anything anymore. it's pointless and wasteful. i'm not going to keep any secrets about anyone if a beautiful thought of them crosses my mind. does it mean i'll act on it? no. does it mean i'm looking for a reaction to my words? no. just be who you are, and i'll be who i am.
i'd never ask anyone to change because of me or because of words i've said.
there was a person from my past that meant a lot to me, which is hard for me to say considering the circumstances, but she did. it was little time spent, but the time was great for what it was. and in that time, there were things i had said that were true...real...meaningful...whatever. some of the things i said were dramatic, some of it possibly "too good to be true" type statements. maybe they were. point is, they were all true. i never said an untrue thing to this person, and at the end of the sojourn we had together, i was told that it was all a lie. i was accused of saying what she wanted to hear. i was condemned for not "posting it online" which therefore made it untrue. i write everything online, i have for several years now. every thought, every emotion, every little thing that is meaningful to me....i post about it. this one instance though, i didn't. regretful? no. i know that what i said was true, but i'll never convince her otherwise. and...no, right now i don't care. doesn't matter. but...i'm not letting it happen again...my thoughts are going to be posted, although some may be masked or generalized.
the things i say are not meant to queer friendships, they aren't professions of love and adoration, and they are by no means holding direct intention of alluring someone or changing their minds.
you're allowed to see a glimpse of my soul. it's fragile...but no more than anyone elses. probably less than anyone elses. i keep my heart fractured, i never let it heal. don't think that any of you are going to damage me or break me down, and don't any of you start acting weird or different just because i express some fancy or interest in you beyond friendship. those things are fleeting. i'll change my mind tomorrow and find some passing lust in another face.
several of my closest friends have been girls i've found to shine, it doesn't change a thing about my attitude and friendship toward them. there are more than one of you right now, and one that is holding my heart above all others. sadly, she's one that doens't even read my words and doesn't know about the few subtle and hidden things i've said about her. i know that my feelings aren't unappreciated. i know my words don't fall on empty souls and deaf ears. everything i say impacts everyone in some small fashion, and that's all that matters to me. i'm not holding back and i'm not pulling away from anything anymore. it's pointless and wasteful. i'm not going to keep any secrets about anyone if a beautiful thought of them crosses my mind. does it mean i'll act on it? no. does it mean i'm looking for a reaction to my words? no. just be who you are, and i'll be who i am.
i'd never ask anyone to change because of me or because of words i've said.