we might as well be strangers in a different town
i soon realize that being his friend is no different than being his boyfriend. he continues to regard me with the same amount of impatience and disinterest that preceded the break-up, as though there were other things he'd rather be doing instead of interacting with me. the simplest of conversations have become burdensome and trying, and i consider it lucky if he responds with more than an impatient nod or a mono-syllabic grunt. he makes me feel as if i am constantly in the way, and it appears as though he is eager to get rid of me.
i don't know what will become of our friendship once the last of my belongings are packed and i close the door behind me. i struggle to keep from breaking down as i think about the weeks ahead and the likelihood that our relationship will slowly deteriorate until the day when we are no longer friends, but merely passing acquaintances who greet each other with quick hellos and goodbyes. the possibility upsets me, and i cannot keep the tears at bay.
i don't know what i did to deserve this.