Aglty
I have been so sick I don't even. I think the proximate cause has been the poor sleep, even though I'm in recovery mode from that, and all of the extra bouncing from a tiggeriffic dog, which I am still getting used to. Walks with him are exhausting and he needs at least two a day instead of one, so it's been quite an adjustment. We're working on getting him to walk easier but this is going to be hard; we're fighting a lifetime of pulling. Unlike Moose and Jack, the head collar was not a three-day fix, but it's early days yet. It's very hard if I am too feeble to walk and Brad isn't home yet and he quite understandably wants a walk; I have been bailing on more of the evening walks than I have been doing, though I am able to stagger around in the yard with him as a sort of pre-walk walk. (Because of his prey drive and because he doesn't have firm recall for us yet, he doesn't get to go outside unless he's firmly attached to a leash, so he is getting the leash on and off more like four or five times a day.)
Totally worth it given how adorable he is the rest of the time, and he's actually quite engaging on the walks, with his visual fixation and utter fascination with squirrels and cats. He's getting some play time with other dogs, and he really runs then, he loves. We need to scout other ways to get him runs, but I've been so tired and Brad's been so busy so here we are. Luckily, in between the walks and the play time he mostly mugs for scritches, snoozes on feet, plays with toys, and is otherwise a very easy-going roommate. He's also quite capable of waking me up if he needs out and I'm crashed, which is good -- I would feel worse if I ignored him due to being asleep, but he'll come and poke me, which is good as I am generally super duper out of it by the time he wants his evening yard break and dinner -- right now I get a few spoons right in the morning and they are generally consumed by the morning walk and it's a good day if I also have breakfast.
I feel like I'm on a plateau on my bipap... I don't get enough air but I still have aerophagia so I am worried that turning the pressure up will get me to wake up even more in the night and kill my ability to do anything even more. Blah. I do sometimes dream again, which is a sign that I'm getting *almost* enough oxygen, but the dreams are about being very tired, or looking for lost things, or suffocating, which are all kind of indicative of this not-enough-air theory. My allergies have been acting up so maybe this will improve if they clear up.
So much to do, and I am still quite the zombie. Completely in water skimmer mode, able to form semi-coherent sentences but unable to do math, follow out plans of more than one step, or use logic. I know it'll get better if I just keep on sleeping, and get better at using my bipap during day crashes, but it's really very sleep-deprived right now. Aglty.
Totally worth it given how adorable he is the rest of the time, and he's actually quite engaging on the walks, with his visual fixation and utter fascination with squirrels and cats. He's getting some play time with other dogs, and he really runs then, he loves. We need to scout other ways to get him runs, but I've been so tired and Brad's been so busy so here we are. Luckily, in between the walks and the play time he mostly mugs for scritches, snoozes on feet, plays with toys, and is otherwise a very easy-going roommate. He's also quite capable of waking me up if he needs out and I'm crashed, which is good -- I would feel worse if I ignored him due to being asleep, but he'll come and poke me, which is good as I am generally super duper out of it by the time he wants his evening yard break and dinner -- right now I get a few spoons right in the morning and they are generally consumed by the morning walk and it's a good day if I also have breakfast.
I feel like I'm on a plateau on my bipap... I don't get enough air but I still have aerophagia so I am worried that turning the pressure up will get me to wake up even more in the night and kill my ability to do anything even more. Blah. I do sometimes dream again, which is a sign that I'm getting *almost* enough oxygen, but the dreams are about being very tired, or looking for lost things, or suffocating, which are all kind of indicative of this not-enough-air theory. My allergies have been acting up so maybe this will improve if they clear up.
So much to do, and I am still quite the zombie. Completely in water skimmer mode, able to form semi-coherent sentences but unable to do math, follow out plans of more than one step, or use logic. I know it'll get better if I just keep on sleeping, and get better at using my bipap during day crashes, but it's really very sleep-deprived right now. Aglty.