State of the Me

[flit]

I've just been hitting a wall lately with the fatigue, and it bums me out. I have missed lots and lots of scheduled stuff, and this after significantly scaling back on what I was scheduling! The RP drought is making me very sad, and since my steady evening crashes are combined with a general lack of people around on my favorite servers when I'm

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[flit]

I'm pretty sure that my mask is actually decently comfortable; though actually that makes me think I should try sleeping with *just the mask* and see if the mask causes me any problems. This mask is definitely way more comfortable than the mask I had on the CPAP (well they're all the nose type really, rather than the masks) and it's more comfortable than a few other masks I test drove. But yeah, I should make sure it's not the mask.

I think what's really getting me is psychological: I hate hate hate the feeling of having something breathing into me. I switched from a cpap to a bipap (which relaxes pressure when you're breathing out) to try to remedy that, but at my pressure setting it is still extremely obtrusive. So I lie awake feeling it breathe for me for about an hour, then become extremely tired and cranky, realize that I want to do something tomorrow, and turn it off and go to sleep. That's why I think I need to commit to some time where I'm willing to lose the sleep while I get over my aversion to having something breathe into me. I think I will, because part of the reason for it is because I can't breathe through my nose really well normally (allergies mean it's always been at least somewhat stuffed up since I was... well since I was 12, probably). However I *can* actually breathe through my nose with the bipap on, so hopefully I'll learn at a deeper level that no, it's not suffocating me, it's just *helping me breathe properly* for the first time in, oh, ever.