(no subject)
This past week and a bit has been awful...
Stupid hospital/radiation, its draining me like you wouldn't believe. I'm done radiation in 3 weeks. Then life becomes more normal. Tuesday is cycle 7. Which is big news because its the half way mark. End of August..life is mine again. And everyone knows that after March time flies...and its already starting to.
negative
- missing GROWTH: and a major negative at that. I wanted to go so badly...I can't even put it into words. I've looked at the pictures like 10 times, possibly in tears each time. I feel like I could have made such a difference there, working with special needs kids isnt new to me and I love it so much. But I couldn't go. The year I have my priorities straight, the year I am at my best as a leader, the year I needed to make a difference to still feel like myself I couldnt go. Last year I wasted the opportunity..I could have gone, I just chose not to. But this year was different..this year I'm different, and its just not fair. I want to believe that I did something to deserve to miss out on this, but I know I didn't. I know it's not fair...I know I will forever feel like I should have been there...and I know it absolutly kills me.
- falling behind: in a lot of things. I need to get a grip and get something accomplished
- I feel like crappp. yeah I admit it...sorta.
positives/stuff to look forward to
+ Skillbuilding retreat is in a month
+ Edge: 42 days. holy "thats not a lot of time at all" batman! I can't say I'm ready for conference yet....but I sure am pumped.
+ driving course after I'm done radiation
+ summer/car