(no subject)
Unlike most students of college age, when presented with a sheet of sprawling blank paper and clutching a carefully sharpened number two pencil in hand, Junsu faced the great white bull with a tenacious kind of masochism that generated actual productivity, much to the contempt of his artistically-inclined peers. It was the kind of determination that a select few like Jaebum, who was a freak about health (sans sleep) and exercise and doing one thousand repetitions for each set, could appreciate; and Park Jinyoung had always said that even if he couldn’t sing, it was the kind of focus that would have propelled him into success in the entertainment world. Conversely, Junsu had always thought that it did matter that he could sing, it mattered a lot, and he was lucky that he sang well and had discovered it in time. But then he had nodded in agreement with Park Jinyoung, about Focus and Determination, because there was something quiet the company had not discovered about him quite yet: that while he was ambitiously diligent, there was always an underlying need to watch himself. In reality, the paper was his two-dimensional practice room and if he could not sing circles and strokes there, then the only other hidden dimension was inside his head. So that was his secret. Junsu prepared everything, in the privacy of his own space, as to present himself maybe not perfectly, but at least somewhat eye-catchingly, smartly, and, above all, uniquely.
After debut, creative meticulousness was nearly impossible in their noisy, tight apartment. During the filming of Idol Army, Junsu learned how to compensate; when discussion lulled and the guys drifted off into unconsciousness, he tucked impromptu melodies and text messages into his cell phone, one little thought after another. At that time, his themes revolved around a contrast between perseverance and disappointment, and waiting (still, after debut.) After winning the Mutizen though, he thought more hopefully that maybe this could be something, that it wasn’t only him and 2PM, but him and Jay and Chan and Ho and Taec and Khun and Woo-and it wasn’t until a whole year finally perfected that Junsu found himself back at square one alone in his room, only it was more like square negative one hundred and two for Jay next door.
It broke inevitably, unfailingly, four days later. September 4th, 2009 was when Jaebum left the outside world. September 8th was when Jaebum left the inside one too. And all the September dates after that-Junsu didn’t care to remember and 2PM wasn’t 2PM and Jaebum wasn’t Jaebum ’cause the Jaebummie that he knew-
Jay-
who was huddled away somewhere in a sleepy forest with no telephone lines, Jay who was away from Korea, Jay who was away from everyone who mattered, Jay who was away from them…
So it was through a natural course of events that Junsu stopped writing for the next few weeks.
After debut, creative meticulousness was nearly impossible in their noisy, tight apartment. During the filming of Idol Army, Junsu learned how to compensate; when discussion lulled and the guys drifted off into unconsciousness, he tucked impromptu melodies and text messages into his cell phone, one little thought after another. At that time, his themes revolved around a contrast between perseverance and disappointment, and waiting (still, after debut.) After winning the Mutizen though, he thought more hopefully that maybe this could be something, that it wasn’t only him and 2PM, but him and Jay and Chan and Ho and Taec and Khun and Woo-and it wasn’t until a whole year finally perfected that Junsu found himself back at square one alone in his room, only it was more like square negative one hundred and two for Jay next door.
It broke inevitably, unfailingly, four days later. September 4th, 2009 was when Jaebum left the outside world. September 8th was when Jaebum left the inside one too. And all the September dates after that-Junsu didn’t care to remember and 2PM wasn’t 2PM and Jaebum wasn’t Jaebum ’cause the Jaebummie that he knew-
Jay-
who was huddled away somewhere in a sleepy forest with no telephone lines, Jay who was away from Korea, Jay who was away from everyone who mattered, Jay who was away from them…
So it was through a natural course of events that Junsu stopped writing for the next few weeks.