(no subject)
Okay so it's pretty late. I was laying in bed trying to sleep but I seriously can't even though I've had hardly any sleep at all this week and I'm both physically and mentally exhausted. I have insomnia...mostly because of this whole breakup. Even though i'm doing better now then I was, it still hurts and I always end up thinking about it at night no matter how much fun I had during the day or whatever. I just miss him...or us....I dunno. I love him and you don't just fall out of love over night or get over someone for that matter. The thing I'm worried about the most right now is the fact that any day now we'll end up running into each other and I really don't want that to happen. I don't want to see him. I don't want to talk to him. I don't even want to know that he exists anymore because its going to hurt too much. I have no idea what I would say to him if we did run into each other. Somehow I think we both would just avoid each other which will hurt too but I mean...what can we say to each other? We didn't exactly have a good break up....it was long and painful and he didn't even do it right. Oh well. I have to make a doctors appointment to check on something and thats got me stressed out as well. I can't wait to get out of this city for the weekend. I really need to forget about everything thats going on and just have some fun with my girls. And I definately can't wait until I go to Minneapolis this summer cause that's going to kick so much ass. But that's not until August. At least it's something to look forward to. Regardless of everything thats going on and how down I've been about it I'm still trying to make the best of things and just go on with my life and have fun with my friends. I actually haven't really been home at all this week. I've gone out everynight this week except for wednesday. I went to the Pal with Barb on Monday. That was alot of fun. We danced...I got fought over by some guys...and then at the end of the night I ended up meeting this really nice guy...who called me but we didn't really get the chance to talk...we'll see what happens...I'm definatly not ready for anything serious so if he doesn't call again it's not the end of the world. I finally got to see Eddie's new apartment on Tuesday which was nice. It was just nice being able to hang out with him somewhere other than my room. And I told him I was gonna sue him for his couches cause they're so freaking comfy. I went to Die Machine with Joe on thursday which even though I was super tired was so much fun cause I absolutely LOVE anything to do with the 80's (except mullets cause lets be honest....there's no party in the back happening...just grossness). Friday night I went out with one of my favorite ladies...Heather, to TYC. That was alot of fun. I met two guys...one was from the states which I figured out as soon as I saw him cause no guy in Winnipeg dresses as nice as that guy did. I got his number but I deleted it today cause he lives in Minneapolis and since I didn't go to the party he invited us to later that night I didn't really wanna keep his number. But he was hot thats for sure. And then I met another guy who took me to see a movie tonight. Very nice guy and we get along good so I'm definatly up for just some fun...go see movies, go on dates, hang out...but nooooooooooo sex. I honestly just want to do the whole casual thing again for now just because I'm not ready for anything serious since I'm not over Lomos and probably won't be for a bit but I'm not going to cut myself off from any opportunities to be with someone else. When I'm ready for a relationship, if the right guy comes along at the right time then maybe I'll try again. We'll see. Saturday I went to the Fox for some good ol' karokee. Gooood times. So much fun last night. I'm glad I went. I was pretty tired and was thinking of staying home but I decided that since I never get to see that group of people anymore all together I should at least go for a bit. I ended up staying till the end and had such a good time while I was there. I'm very glad I went. And then today before going to the movie I spent the day with my family for mothers day. It was good but we ate alot as we always seem to do when we're all together and I was so tired from all week and then getting up early this morning. I'm just gonna take it easy this week and not go out after work. Just stay in, relax, do some studying and laundry and all of that crap. That's it for now. I'll update more in a few weeks probably.