The Elkins Classifieds - Part II
"Wanted to Rent: in Belington/Elkins area small house with at least 2 or 3 bedrooms. Suitable for 2 small children."
****Nice try, but I would never rent my house to two small children. Call the orphanage.
"For Sale: guns nef youth model single shot"
****Sounds like someone has some pent up anger at those kids we see in all the catalogs.
"For Sale: 1987 Chevrolet Suburban, 350, automatic, low miles, black w/limo tint, $4200."
****I don't think that saying "limo tint" is going to help you on this one.
"Wanted: Looking for a house to rent. My lease is up in October were i live and wife is going to have baby in september.Desperately needing a house."
****September comes before October. You'll be fine. The kid will be almost old enough to help with the construction of your twig hut in the woods.
"Wanted: FEMALE PUG MUST BE A PUPPY,FAWN WITH BLACK MASK,REASONABLE IN PRICE."
****Haven't seen any pugs lately, but I could put a black Halloween mask on a deer and give it to you if you'll pay me enough.
"For Sale: tea cup chihuahua puppies for sale, parents different colors to choose from, 500.00 males and 600.00 females raised in my home with lots of love."
****Sick people. I'm sure you'd say you raised your kids with lots of love, but would you sell them for $500, as well? Most likely.
"For Sale: Green 2002 Grizzly 660. Comes with wench mounting kit. $5,500 firm."
****To me, this just sounds like an overpriced horny bear. Next time, just advertise the "wench mounting kit" and millions of men will be calling.
****Nice try, but I would never rent my house to two small children. Call the orphanage.
"For Sale: guns nef youth model single shot"
****Sounds like someone has some pent up anger at those kids we see in all the catalogs.
"For Sale: 1987 Chevrolet Suburban, 350, automatic, low miles, black w/limo tint, $4200."
****I don't think that saying "limo tint" is going to help you on this one.
"Wanted: Looking for a house to rent. My lease is up in October were i live and wife is going to have baby in september.Desperately needing a house."
****September comes before October. You'll be fine. The kid will be almost old enough to help with the construction of your twig hut in the woods.
"Wanted: FEMALE PUG MUST BE A PUPPY,FAWN WITH BLACK MASK,REASONABLE IN PRICE."
****Haven't seen any pugs lately, but I could put a black Halloween mask on a deer and give it to you if you'll pay me enough.
"For Sale: tea cup chihuahua puppies for sale, parents different colors to choose from, 500.00 males and 600.00 females raised in my home with lots of love."
****Sick people. I'm sure you'd say you raised your kids with lots of love, but would you sell them for $500, as well? Most likely.
"For Sale: Green 2002 Grizzly 660. Comes with wench mounting kit. $5,500 firm."
****To me, this just sounds like an overpriced horny bear. Next time, just advertise the "wench mounting kit" and millions of men will be calling.