Just in time for Mandy's shin-dig...

May 14, 2004 17:34

I just love the "latest health news." Check this one out:

"Old news: A glass of red wine with dinner is good for your heart.

New news: Moderate consumption of any alcoholic beverage can be good for you.

Moderate consumption of alcohol - 1 - 2 drinks per day - has been shown to support good health, not just diminish the risk of heart disease.

A study referenced in the April 2001 issue of JAMA suggests alcohol may reduce heart-related death risk by raising the levels of "good" HDL cholesterol in the blood and by thinning the blood modestly by inhibiting clotting factors."

Well, in that case, I'll start having a couple shots of vodka with lunch each day. Goodness. Why even bother trying to be healthy? You'll have to be healthy and unhealthy at the same time, if that makes any sense.
Here are MY "latest health news" predictions for the next couple months. You wait, they'll be on the covers of magazines everywhere...

"Some studies are showing that eating extracted beef fat with olive oil prevents heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure!"

"Donuts have been proven to slim your waistline!"
(according to studies conducted by the Krispy Kreme research team)

"Smoking cigarettes can actually PREVENT lung cancer!"

It'll happen, if it hasn't already. Keep your eyes open.
Previous post Next post
Up