(no subject)

[flavorpurple]

I laid in my bed last night and thought, really thought about what I could do with me life. I've always toyed with the idea to join the Peace Corps, but I've always had excuses. The top of the list is always the time commitment. Twenty seven months is a long time. I will miss a lot of things. My godchildren will age. Relatives may die. The world will change and take no notice that I'm missing out on it. I will miss holidays, birthdays, births, and weddings. Then I realized how selfish I was. I will miss out on these things,yes, but I could be using my time to help people who live in terrible conditions. I could help them learn to farm or teach them about the transmission of AIDS. I could help change a country. Change the world. That's exactly what I've always wanted to do. Change the world. I still have some decision making to do. I've had the application half filled out for over a year. Is it really possible that I could give up my life, temporarily, and ride out into the unknown sunset? Could I pack my bag and leave without knowing exactly where I'll be or what I'll be doing? Thinking about it makes me fall in love with the idea. I've been reading Peace Corps journals and trying to get a balanced opinion of the service. There's a web-seminar this week where I can ask questions. I've got to make a change, I cannot breathe in this town any longer.

There are people that hold me back. People I do not know if I can bear to leave. People who I have lent my heart to and I fear that while I'm gone I will become an afterthought to them. As much as it hurts, I have partially decided that if we were meant to be... we will be. I've been trying to work on having faith. For now, I'm trying to make one of the biggest decisions of my life.
Input welcome. <3