#36 - Hello.
Hey,
wow, I haven't posted in more than two months. I don't know why, to be honest. I love LJ, I'm on here everyday, most of the day and I don't feel the energy to post. I have so much to tell, heck, I've been to China, goddamnit, but I cannot write about it. I haven't even looked at the pictures I took over there. I haven't showed them to anybody yet.
My room is getting messier, I want to clean it up, but I can't. I write people messages asking if they want to meet up and they answer me, and I never write back. The guy who chatted me up at a party wrote me back and I haven't. That was weeks ago. I haven't seen lots of my friends in forever. I have over a thousand e-mails I should get back to. I have books to read and essays to write. Hell, I even procrastinate going to bed. I procrastinate looking into what I want to do after college.
I just feel so fucking lost. I don't know what to do about it. I hate this feeling. I don't know how to tackle this. What is wrong with me? I'm such a hyprocrite in everything. I feel like such a failure all the time. I just cry and cry. But it isn't fixing anything. Even my family is upset with me. My mom doesn't even talk to me properly anymore. Either I'm too sad or too hyper for her.
It's my birthday on November 14th, and I was planning my birthday party. I couldn't think of one person I would like to have with me. Right now the idea of curling up in bed is the one that is appealing the most to me. I don't have friends. Not close ones anyway.
I'm so sick of my life. I cannot wait to go to Copenhagen and start all over again. I really cannot wait.
I'm so, so sorry that I am putting this upon you guys. Just skip by. I needed to get it off my chest.
♥
wow, I haven't posted in more than two months. I don't know why, to be honest. I love LJ, I'm on here everyday, most of the day and I don't feel the energy to post. I have so much to tell, heck, I've been to China, goddamnit, but I cannot write about it. I haven't even looked at the pictures I took over there. I haven't showed them to anybody yet.
My room is getting messier, I want to clean it up, but I can't. I write people messages asking if they want to meet up and they answer me, and I never write back. The guy who chatted me up at a party wrote me back and I haven't. That was weeks ago. I haven't seen lots of my friends in forever. I have over a thousand e-mails I should get back to. I have books to read and essays to write. Hell, I even procrastinate going to bed. I procrastinate looking into what I want to do after college.
I just feel so fucking lost. I don't know what to do about it. I hate this feeling. I don't know how to tackle this. What is wrong with me? I'm such a hyprocrite in everything. I feel like such a failure all the time. I just cry and cry. But it isn't fixing anything. Even my family is upset with me. My mom doesn't even talk to me properly anymore. Either I'm too sad or too hyper for her.
It's my birthday on November 14th, and I was planning my birthday party. I couldn't think of one person I would like to have with me. Right now the idea of curling up in bed is the one that is appealing the most to me. I don't have friends. Not close ones anyway.
I'm so sick of my life. I cannot wait to go to Copenhagen and start all over again. I really cannot wait.
I'm so, so sorry that I am putting this upon you guys. Just skip by. I needed to get it off my chest.
♥