AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I really want to scream right now. I tried to call to talk it through with my therapist but she's not answering. I just got into it with my dad and I can't calm down. I'm only getting angrier and angrier. I'm shaking, I'm full anxiety and the tears and just right there. I'm running on raw emotion right now. I told my dad a while back I could use some help getting a new laptop. He didn't have it right then, so I picked one out and told him that I needed a new one right away, so not to worry about it and Justin and I would just make it work. He OFFERED in that moment very nicely "Oh, well for $500 I can pay for half." I asked him probably three or four times if he was sure and thanked him profusely for the favor. The next day I get a call from my mom "So, you're selling your old laptop to Dad so you can buy a new one." I told her there was no way I would sell a dying laptop to them, but if they wanted it in its final days I would gladly give it to them. Note, my dad and I never had a conversation about him taking my 5-year-old dying laptop. EVER. That was born between him and mom. Anyway, that became the deal. I'd GIVE them my old lap top. My dad would pay for half of the new one.
For the last week they've been asking for the laptop. I've been asking Justin to format it, and he just hasn't made the time. This isn't why I'm angry though. I'm angry because Justin and I were enjoying our early afternoon, and decided we would call Dad to find out where the new house is so we could take a drive out and look at it. He says "Well, have you formatted the laptop yet?" "No dad, but we will I promise." and that's when all hell broke loose, to the tune of "I gave you the fucking money, why haven't you give us the computer!?" When I clarified that I had I made it crystal clear to mom that I was not selling them a DYING computer, that I was giving to it them, he replied with "So what, you think I should be grateful?!?" Which wasn't my freaking point at all. He was just looking for a fight. So I hung up on him.
I called mom, told her we'd bring her the computer today with a check for $250 to make it clear that we were NOT SELLING THEM MY COMPUTER. She told me to "knock it off." And right then my head blew up.
She called back and I didn't answer, but I did check her message. She was trying very hard to be nice and tell me that Dad was just upset because he's been waiting so long for the computer but that they absolutely did not want the money back. I called her back and told her that I understood he wanted the computer, but that it didn't give him the right be a giant dick, to which she told me to calm down. SHE TOLD ME TO CALM DOWN. The only response I had for her was "DON'T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!" Then she had the nerve to say "everyone has their days.." and I said "Yep, but I'm not 16 anymore so I don't have to take it." Then I pointed out that every favor my dad has EVER done for Glenn and I has been held over our heads for MONTHS, if not longer, by my Dad. Without fail. The day after Glenn got fired from Red Lotus my dad had him to come in to work at the worm farm, only to tell him that afternoon that he wouldn't be paid because he owed him money. MONEY THAT HAS BEEN OWED FOR MONTHS! And this comes up the day after Glenn loses his job. Because when my dad wants to be a giant dick, he goes all the way. They paid to have Glenn's engine rebuilt about two years ago, and we hear about it at every other family gathering. STILL. This is just how he rolls. And I'm done with it. Unless we are in serious need, and I'm talking about a blown engine, I'm not asking them for money ever again. NEVER.
Reading this, you might think it comes up often, but it doesn't. I did sit down with them about six months ago that we may need help with school, and even though he started with "YOU'RE ALMOST 30!" he finished with "No problem, we'll cover half." The only other time I asked them for cash was about four years ago. I wanted to quit Starbucks, but I new doing so would cost us $200, so I called him and asked if he had $200 worth of work for me. He said he did, but I ended up sick and never worked, so of course, I never got the money. So, in the last six years that I've been out of the house, I've asked them to give me money twice, and only took them up on it once, which was this $250 to help with the laptop. And it turned into this horrible situation that today looked like we had an agreement in which I would sell them A DYING laptop for $250 to help fund my new one. Which was NEVER the agreement. Ever.
I was hoping getting all this out would curb the anger, but it didn't. I'm still angry. Perhaps angrier. I have been totally raw lately, everything sitting right at the surface, and they just tapped my buttons.
And then told me it was okay because Dad wants his computer and his having an off day.
And then told me to calm down.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa
For the last week they've been asking for the laptop. I've been asking Justin to format it, and he just hasn't made the time. This isn't why I'm angry though. I'm angry because Justin and I were enjoying our early afternoon, and decided we would call Dad to find out where the new house is so we could take a drive out and look at it. He says "Well, have you formatted the laptop yet?" "No dad, but we will I promise." and that's when all hell broke loose, to the tune of "I gave you the fucking money, why haven't you give us the computer!?" When I clarified that I had I made it crystal clear to mom that I was not selling them a DYING computer, that I was giving to it them, he replied with "So what, you think I should be grateful?!?" Which wasn't my freaking point at all. He was just looking for a fight. So I hung up on him.
I called mom, told her we'd bring her the computer today with a check for $250 to make it clear that we were NOT SELLING THEM MY COMPUTER. She told me to "knock it off." And right then my head blew up.
She called back and I didn't answer, but I did check her message. She was trying very hard to be nice and tell me that Dad was just upset because he's been waiting so long for the computer but that they absolutely did not want the money back. I called her back and told her that I understood he wanted the computer, but that it didn't give him the right be a giant dick, to which she told me to calm down. SHE TOLD ME TO CALM DOWN. The only response I had for her was "DON'T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!" Then she had the nerve to say "everyone has their days.." and I said "Yep, but I'm not 16 anymore so I don't have to take it." Then I pointed out that every favor my dad has EVER done for Glenn and I has been held over our heads for MONTHS, if not longer, by my Dad. Without fail. The day after Glenn got fired from Red Lotus my dad had him to come in to work at the worm farm, only to tell him that afternoon that he wouldn't be paid because he owed him money. MONEY THAT HAS BEEN OWED FOR MONTHS! And this comes up the day after Glenn loses his job. Because when my dad wants to be a giant dick, he goes all the way. They paid to have Glenn's engine rebuilt about two years ago, and we hear about it at every other family gathering. STILL. This is just how he rolls. And I'm done with it. Unless we are in serious need, and I'm talking about a blown engine, I'm not asking them for money ever again. NEVER.
Reading this, you might think it comes up often, but it doesn't. I did sit down with them about six months ago that we may need help with school, and even though he started with "YOU'RE ALMOST 30!" he finished with "No problem, we'll cover half." The only other time I asked them for cash was about four years ago. I wanted to quit Starbucks, but I new doing so would cost us $200, so I called him and asked if he had $200 worth of work for me. He said he did, but I ended up sick and never worked, so of course, I never got the money. So, in the last six years that I've been out of the house, I've asked them to give me money twice, and only took them up on it once, which was this $250 to help with the laptop. And it turned into this horrible situation that today looked like we had an agreement in which I would sell them A DYING laptop for $250 to help fund my new one. Which was NEVER the agreement. Ever.
I was hoping getting all this out would curb the anger, but it didn't. I'm still angry. Perhaps angrier. I have been totally raw lately, everything sitting right at the surface, and they just tapped my buttons.
And then told me it was okay because Dad wants his computer and his having an off day.
And then told me to calm down.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa