Time for the "full story"...

[flaming_mo]

A few of you have asked about what transpired last week that necessitated me to overhaul my internet presence. While I have spoken to a couple of folks over the phone about the matter, I felt it would be much more efficient to put it here for all of my friends to view if they so chose

Comments

[flaming_mo]

Good luck on teaching it - I think it's a highly personal, subjective, intuitive, experiential and incremental process.
The sad thing was that I the big lesson I had been trying to impart to her was priorotizing and establishing boundaries. I had told her on several occasions that since she was having so many difficulties connecting in a healthy way with others on-base and within her family that she needed to concentrate on creating her own familial traditions and nurturing her children. When she was having marital problems, I told her it was a "shit or get off the pot" scenario, where if she chose to stay there, she had to make a genuine effort and/or negotiate livable, workable accomodations for everyone involved. If she had issues with certain conversational topics and expressed them to me, I respected those boundaries.

I think the big problems here is that she has most likely NOT been honest with everyone, including myself. I think she has manipulated everyone in her orbit like a bunch of spinning plates. All of the reasons why are not clear, but I suspect some of them are: to avoid conflict with her spouse, to play up her martyr persona to others, to deflect responsibility from her own bad choices and the lurid thrill of being in the center of drama. Fine, she wants to be loved, I get it; who doesn't? But is all this "attention" LOVE? And is it worth the collateral damage?

Sorry Joe, I'm still reeling and bewildered at why anyone would seek this kind of B.S., even after everything I've witnessed and experienced.

[joeguppy]

I think you hit the nail on the head. Some people thrive on the drama and the attention. If they can't get attention on a day-to-day basis, they create drama so that they can get attention. Even negative attention is still attention, right? Sadly, it sucks the life out of the people who try to help. I think you made the right decision.

[flaming_mo]

Yeah, it's all about attention and control. Particularly since she probably feels out of control with everything else, which she wasn't.

I agree that this was probably for the best, but it's just a damn waste. I believed she was a better and smarter person.