Comments | flaming_mo: Time for the "full story"...

flaming_mo

Time for the "full story"...

Feb 15, 2010 13:02

A few of you have asked about what transpired last week that necessitated me to overhaul my internet presence. While I have spoken to a couple of folks over the phone about the matter, I felt it would be much more efficient to put it here for all of my friends to view if they so chose ( Read more... )

Comments 12

crevette February 15 2010, 18:21:16 UTC

Yeesh. No one can blame you for cutting ties with that. You need to take care of yourself and your family and your sanity, and if people cannot handle that basic truth you don't need that kind of disruption in your life.

As Maxine says, "Well, aren't you the most adorable black hole of need?"

flaming_mo February 15 2010, 19:16:50 UTC

Tell me about it. I do want to make it clear that I have never belittled or discounted her problems or complaints, large or small, even now. However, it is hurtful to contemplate how much of it may have been a sham, and that my consideration and discretion regarding her personal disclosures were not reciprocated.

I realized the girl had issues, but I thought they could be worked through with a little love and understanding. Boy, what an idiot I was. I never conceived that they were as bone-deep weird as they are. Whew!

joeguppy February 15 2010, 20:14:11 UTC

WWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Oh hon, I'm so sorry. Sadly, it sounds like she is in over her head. But like it or not, she is an adult - maybe not emotionally, but she is still a legal adult. Some people (most of us in fact) can use a helping hand every now and then, or a safety net. Others down and out rely upon that safety net far, far too much. Gods only know, you have your own rough past that you have managed to survive. And I think that part of what makes you a good friend and helper to people is, in a way, your own type of therapy. To help ease the demons of your own past, you help others - and that speaks wonderfully and beautifully of you as a person. But yes, your priorities are, and should be, in other places now. You have a new family that rightfully should take top billing in your universe. Other People's Drama (OPD), is optional. For what it is worth, I admire you for recognizing your limits and for putting your priorities in order. Now, can you teach the rest of us how to do that? :

flaming_mo February 15 2010, 20:58:30 UTC

Good luck on teaching it - I think it's a highly personal, subjective, intuitive, experiential and incremental process ( ... )

joeguppy February 15 2010, 21:12:44 UTC

I think you hit the nail on the head. Some people thrive on the drama and the attention. If they can't get attention on a day-to-day basis, they create drama so that they can get attention. Even negative attention is still attention, right? Sadly, it sucks the life out of the people who try to help. I think you made the right decision.

flaming_mo February 15 2010, 21:38:40 UTC

Yeah, it's all about attention and control. Particularly since she probably feels out of control with everything else, which she wasn't.

I agree that this was probably for the best, but it's just a damn waste. I believed she was a better and smarter person.

syaldia February 15 2010, 21:10:06 UTC

That's rather special...

flaming_mo February 15 2010, 21:35:48 UTC

Yeah, isn't it? So, I'm not imagining things, this IS all out of sorts, right? Or is it just me?

slysidonia February 16 2010, 00:24:09 UTC

That's gratitude,huh? So much for caring and trying to help some folks. *shrugs* She requested you to stay away, so I guess that is that.
Meanwhile, I and your other friends still love you, and you have that.
Hugs, L

flaming_mo February 16 2010, 00:50:08 UTC

I guess. You know, I wasn't looking for gratitude or to have my butt kissed, that's not what friendship is about. A little courtesy would have been nice. If she was initially hurt and upset when I asked for space, fine. I've been there myself in very dark times of my life. HOWEVER, unlike T, I respected the other person's wishes and discreetly left them alone.

BTW, if "...fuck you and the horse you rode in on, I never want to see you again..." is a request (amongst other choice finishing-school language), I guess we have different ideas on how to address others. LOL

Her family must be so proud of their handiwork.

... Wow. libragoddess04 February 20 2010, 17:23:20 UTC

She has absolutely NO idea what a friend/mentor she has lost. You, on the other hand, have only lost a nuisance. I have no sympathy for this girl (I am admittedly rather cold like that). Seriously, 5 kids at early 20s and enable to make sound judgments on behalf of her and her children? She is WEAK and you are the complete antithesis, my dear. You're much better writing these people off as they will only waste your time and bring you emotionally down. I'm surprised you lasted so many years with continuous cycles of disappointment and frustration as her lesson was never learned.

Don't even fret over this. Know that in this newfound spare time not dealing with this wretch, you can continue with your endeavors to be an awesome person following awesome passions. :) I miss ya!

Re: ... Wow. flaming_mo February 20 2010, 20:31:21 UTC

Agreed. Once I realized the duplicity, and even potential outright lying this person engaged in, game over. Here's an example of the crazy talk, apparently through either fabrication or her father's poor listening skills and/or inadequate powers of deduction. Excuse the length of my response, but I think it will have "OMFG" entertainment value for you ( ... )