On Acting in a Film
Yes, the rumors are true. Along with all my other jobs (and when I am not busy fighting crime) I have been working on auditioning for my friend's movie. On the surface this is not a movie I would have normally gone for as it is PG and a musical of sorts but it's a great comedy about some awesome lesbians. I can't wait to see it filmed! However, my friend was really enthusiastic about getting me involved and so I lept at the chance to do something I have always thought I would enjoy and be good at. I mean, I act everyday (we all do)!
It turns out I do enjoy acting (being the center of attention has never been a problem for me). However, under pressure and when it counts all I can think is about my lines. I over-think, no surprise. I usually don't get nervous around others but then again... I am usually not that far out of my league. I showed up to my casting call in Chicago yesterday and could have melted. Picture me: In casual, yet attractive clothing with lines in hand. Picture them: Skinny, willowy dancers with tons of years and experience over me in their dance clothes and shoes. I feel extremely young, naive, and like a big fat dyke. Yes, me. I was obviously the only lesbian in the whole building (location: St. Alphonsous Dance Academy).
Even though I have no formal dance training I was willing to learn. I like to dance. I'm usually the only one brave enough to get out there and bust it out. Unfortunately, bravery counts for nothing in an audition. I have had to face the fact that I am a very white girl with absolutely no rhythm. While I could pass for a lesbian over them, I could not pass for a dancer.
I also discovered that the playing of many roles in real life doesn't count for squat because film/ theatre is NOT real life. It is the illusion of real life. Much the same way I can not paint very well because I do not know how to translate what I imagine into what I do. I don't have the techniques to create the illusion.
Unfortunately, I suck at being someone else. Fortunately, I really rock at being me. The character I auditioned for seems like a perfect match for me only our interpretations were different. Really I think they need a lesbian liasion. As cliche as it sounds there is more to a realisitic lesbian couple than the two of them being female. There's a whole culture and history that comes with that. It's as complex as any other cultural identity. This is why they have whole classes and college majors devoted to LGBT studies.
Anyway, I am proud of myself for being brave enough to go through something I was obviously not prepared for and really I have learned a lot (about myself and acting). I would like to do try my hand at some local theatre in the future when I am not so bogged down by work. It has the potential to be really rewarding in any other circumstance.
It turns out I do enjoy acting (being the center of attention has never been a problem for me). However, under pressure and when it counts all I can think is about my lines. I over-think, no surprise. I usually don't get nervous around others but then again... I am usually not that far out of my league. I showed up to my casting call in Chicago yesterday and could have melted. Picture me: In casual, yet attractive clothing with lines in hand. Picture them: Skinny, willowy dancers with tons of years and experience over me in their dance clothes and shoes. I feel extremely young, naive, and like a big fat dyke. Yes, me. I was obviously the only lesbian in the whole building (location: St. Alphonsous Dance Academy).
Even though I have no formal dance training I was willing to learn. I like to dance. I'm usually the only one brave enough to get out there and bust it out. Unfortunately, bravery counts for nothing in an audition. I have had to face the fact that I am a very white girl with absolutely no rhythm. While I could pass for a lesbian over them, I could not pass for a dancer.
I also discovered that the playing of many roles in real life doesn't count for squat because film/ theatre is NOT real life. It is the illusion of real life. Much the same way I can not paint very well because I do not know how to translate what I imagine into what I do. I don't have the techniques to create the illusion.
Unfortunately, I suck at being someone else. Fortunately, I really rock at being me. The character I auditioned for seems like a perfect match for me only our interpretations were different. Really I think they need a lesbian liasion. As cliche as it sounds there is more to a realisitic lesbian couple than the two of them being female. There's a whole culture and history that comes with that. It's as complex as any other cultural identity. This is why they have whole classes and college majors devoted to LGBT studies.
Anyway, I am proud of myself for being brave enough to go through something I was obviously not prepared for and really I have learned a lot (about myself and acting). I would like to do try my hand at some local theatre in the future when I am not so bogged down by work. It has the potential to be really rewarding in any other circumstance.