you gotta close your eyes and leap because it might be worth the fall...
You gotta take some chances, you gotta risk losing it all, you gotta close your eyes and leap because it might be worth the fall.
i don't even know where to start. i've been such a bad judge of character lately, but i'm not too sure that's anything new. i fall so easily, so completely, before i even know the whole story...and that has never ended well for me. so the last couple weeks i've been talking to dave, the guy i met through my friend michele, and he seemed like a great guy, constantly texting me and making plans to hang out and all that. but last weekend i went with michele and her friends to the fire dept chief's house so the fire truck came by with santa haha it was so much fun, drinking with the firefighters and just hanging out...but dave got really drunk so by the time michele and i got back to the fire house, he was all pissed off because his friends took his car keys. so we went to another party (or rather i went with him so he wasnt wondering his drunk ass around the streets of saddle brook) and hung out for a little while, by the time we got back to the fire house a little while later there were only two guys left...so dave and i are hangin out by ourselves and kissing and stuff, when he makes a comment something to the effect of how he was just with me to "get his dick wet"...which completely turned me off to the point where i was like just dont touch me, dont touch me. i asked him uhhh is that how you see this? just a way for you to get laid? and his reply was "how else am i supposed to look at it? im leaving in 90 days" needless to say i was extremelyyy pissed and felt pretty used, but i got him to his friends house and said goodnight. the next day he was too hungover to talk much and slept most of the day haha i wonder why, but the next day i brought up what he said and how offended i felt by what he did...and we talked about it, he apologized for what he said when he was drunk and said basically that he isn't looking for any type of commitment or relationship, so even though i could've pictured myself with him...i guess it is for the better though, because he's going off to basic training in march and even if it did work out now, later i would just end up hurting anyway right? so yea dave and i decided it would be a good idea to just stay friends...
i also texted ben the other day cuz i really missed him and his southern drawl haha...i texted him something innocuous like i wanna play foosball with you again or something silly like that and he texted me back almost immediately saying that he's sure that there are arcades in AC haha i was completely taken aback i was shocked that he still wanted to go with me....so we booked the room and thats where ill be from monday to wednesday next week :) im pretty excited to see him again and it should be a lot of fun, i really am looking forward to it...hes such a sweetheart too, he knows what to say to make me smile :) i dunno whats gonna happen with him, but i've been seeing a lot of assholes lately and i know hes not one of them so that gives me hope <3
just please god, let me know what im supposed to be doing right now...
and thank god my semester is finally over, because i am just so mentally exhausted from all the studying and preparation that i've done the past few weeks for the finals i just took and the papers i just wrote. until next semester, i am free to just work my butt off and who knows, maybe even a trip down to richmond.... <3 we shall see what the future holds <3
i don't even know where to start. i've been such a bad judge of character lately, but i'm not too sure that's anything new. i fall so easily, so completely, before i even know the whole story...and that has never ended well for me. so the last couple weeks i've been talking to dave, the guy i met through my friend michele, and he seemed like a great guy, constantly texting me and making plans to hang out and all that. but last weekend i went with michele and her friends to the fire dept chief's house so the fire truck came by with santa haha it was so much fun, drinking with the firefighters and just hanging out...but dave got really drunk so by the time michele and i got back to the fire house, he was all pissed off because his friends took his car keys. so we went to another party (or rather i went with him so he wasnt wondering his drunk ass around the streets of saddle brook) and hung out for a little while, by the time we got back to the fire house a little while later there were only two guys left...so dave and i are hangin out by ourselves and kissing and stuff, when he makes a comment something to the effect of how he was just with me to "get his dick wet"...which completely turned me off to the point where i was like just dont touch me, dont touch me. i asked him uhhh is that how you see this? just a way for you to get laid? and his reply was "how else am i supposed to look at it? im leaving in 90 days" needless to say i was extremelyyy pissed and felt pretty used, but i got him to his friends house and said goodnight. the next day he was too hungover to talk much and slept most of the day haha i wonder why, but the next day i brought up what he said and how offended i felt by what he did...and we talked about it, he apologized for what he said when he was drunk and said basically that he isn't looking for any type of commitment or relationship, so even though i could've pictured myself with him...i guess it is for the better though, because he's going off to basic training in march and even if it did work out now, later i would just end up hurting anyway right? so yea dave and i decided it would be a good idea to just stay friends...
i also texted ben the other day cuz i really missed him and his southern drawl haha...i texted him something innocuous like i wanna play foosball with you again or something silly like that and he texted me back almost immediately saying that he's sure that there are arcades in AC haha i was completely taken aback i was shocked that he still wanted to go with me....so we booked the room and thats where ill be from monday to wednesday next week :) im pretty excited to see him again and it should be a lot of fun, i really am looking forward to it...hes such a sweetheart too, he knows what to say to make me smile :) i dunno whats gonna happen with him, but i've been seeing a lot of assholes lately and i know hes not one of them so that gives me hope <3
just please god, let me know what im supposed to be doing right now...
and thank god my semester is finally over, because i am just so mentally exhausted from all the studying and preparation that i've done the past few weeks for the finals i just took and the papers i just wrote. until next semester, i am free to just work my butt off and who knows, maybe even a trip down to richmond.... <3 we shall see what the future holds <3