Heat + loneliness + sappy feelings + beautiful music = naff poetry?

[flamestone]

Turning Into Dust

It is night again.
The quiet, hypnotic sounds
the gentle twang of an acoustic guitar
seems to stop the world.
Distant city lights
could almost be flashing in time-
and everything seems to close in.

The sky is dark and blue and heavy,
the treeline edging black upwards
frozen, like in a photograph
or a painting.

A breeze across my leg-
the

Comments

[neon_footprint]

You got it BAD :D

The sky is dark and blue and heavy,
the treeline edging black upwards
frozen, like in a photograph
or a painting.

I like this stanza. The first two lines have a lovely rhythm, it falls heavily on the second syllable of the foot, like a heartbeat, until upwards where it inverts. That's a nice touch, the beats coming closer together.

[flamestone]

I figure if I channel it creatively, it won't be so bad :P

Thanks. It got a little sidetracked halfway through, but I couldn't get it back...
Funnily enough >

[neon_footprint]

Have another look at it in the morning. It works surprisingly often for me.

The other thing I find useful, if I have an idea that's being obnoxious or stubborn, is to play around with a form (sonnet, villanelle, terza rima, sestina is my personal favourite). It gives the ideas room to breathe, and you somewhere to go. You can always abandon it later. I've done that plenty of times :)

I got it bad too, and I have no excuse *rolls eyes*

[flamestone]

I will :) Thanks!

I need to research more types of poetry. The last time I tried to work a sonnet I got told off for not being 'on topic' enough, so I sort of gave up... plus I don't write much poetry ><

Excuse? What makes you think *I* have one? :P

[flamestone]

It is dusk again.
It is your time
our time.
Nocturnal so we meet,
time and time again,
with the darkness-
our darkness-
freeing us with a turn of the world.

Wind caresses the leaves
and light dapples them.
I remember lying back with you,
the stars above framed
with dusk-dappled trees.

The dusk, the night will always remind me.

This is our time.