Heat + loneliness + sappy feelings + beautiful music = naff poetry?

[flamestone]

Turning Into Dust

It is night again.
The quiet, hypnotic sounds
the gentle twang of an acoustic guitar
seems to stop the world.
Distant city lights
could almost be flashing in time-
and everything seems to close in.

The sky is dark and blue and heavy,
the treeline edging black upwards
frozen, like in a photograph
or a painting.

A breeze across my leg-
the

Comments

[neon_footprint]

You got it BAD :D

The sky is dark and blue and heavy,
the treeline edging black upwards
frozen, like in a photograph
or a painting.

I like this stanza. The first two lines have a lovely rhythm, it falls heavily on the second syllable of the foot, like a heartbeat, until upwards where it inverts. That's a nice touch, the beats coming closer together.

[flamestone]

I figure if I channel it creatively, it won't be so bad :P

Thanks. It got a little sidetracked halfway through, but I couldn't get it back...
Funnily enough >

[neon_footprint]

Have another look at it in the morning. It works surprisingly often for me.

The other thing I find useful, if I have an idea that's being obnoxious or stubborn, is to play around with a form (sonnet, villanelle, terza rima, sestina is my personal favourite). It gives the ideas room to breathe, and you somewhere to go. You can always abandon it later. I've done that plenty of times :)

I got it bad too, and I have no excuse *rolls eyes*

[flamestone]

I will :) Thanks!

I need to research more types of poetry. The last time I tried to work a sonnet I got told off for not being 'on topic' enough, so I sort of gave up... plus I don't write much poetry ><

Excuse? What makes you think *I* have one? :P

[neon_footprint]

Well, feel free to ask me anything :) I'm a total soapboxer for poetry.

Um, the snogging? Perhaps? All I got to was sexual tension that could have caused a forest fire *clenches fists*

[flamestone]

Hehe, I will do! :D There are worse things to be :P

Well YES, but now I've got to spend the summer in a state of will-we-won't-we, like some sort of soap character... :(
And sexual tension isn't all that bad :P But annoying, I know :(

[neon_footprint]

Oh it was far from bad :D

Try to enjoy it. I know that's an odd thing to say, but it's a brilliant stage, and it's over too quickly when you look at it backwards.

[flamestone]

:D Atta girl!

I guess... but it doesn't help that my summer is as boring as a dictionary with all the exciting words cut out :(

[neon_footprint]

Now that we might be able to fix...

*scuttles off to PM*