01-06-20 Day 6 Hour of Moon 2025-2100 4-8
First off I just remembered yesterday somehow my car told me I had something left in the backseat so even though I just emptied it out I managed to check and find a hanger laying there that should have been there. And today something told me to check out front first before I put away the fried chicken and it was already a thing or fried chicken out there. Yes I'm going to start recording all of these little magical moments in my life hopefully they'll be more. Also today I think I kind of figured out a good chunk of my New year's resolution. This is going to be a year of getting back to basics. Mother means to me is doing very simple things outside of my magical time like just remembering to breathe at first then remembering to ground and build up from there. I need to get this to the point it is habit it's so natural it's like breathing. Which is funny because I can't breathe too well lately. Also working on getting better with cycling and more complex magic steering my time in my room. Also the acknowledging small bits of magic. I'm also going to work on going for one push-up sit-up a night as well as 30 seconds trying to touch my toes. I've also started wearing my weights again and I even started a new supplement regimen to help with the weight loss and some bodily functions I wanted to improve. Also I'm dealing with the issue of debating over how to find things outside when they should be inside. what I mean is like going to conventions I'm trying to find my community that's outside of my community which should be inside of my living community. But also like reading these books and stuff should be stuff that is inside and a part of me but I need to read these books to find out about those parts and explore the inside of myself while also adding more information which adds to the landscape inside myself. Also this journal may become more abstract as time goes on focusing on my life in general and not just my magic. Today I did the usual warm-up read my book and finally got to the end of 2008 started 2009. so I got to the point I got fired which I was really happy about actually it seems. and then I got to the first part of 2009 where I went to Pantheon. It was a great experience I wish I followed up on a few things I didn't. also it's amazing how many things were important that I followed up on and how many warrant and like the things I loved are still the same. I still love the gray school and a lot of chaos magic the more the merrier. The older stuff the reconstruction lists and a few of the topics are a little bit more boring and also I'm finding talking about them to be really dull. I would love to go to a convention and have a chance to practice you know like feel it taste it test it. Or even just like hey here's how to lead a ritual and like actually have you get up and do a ritual. you know like a work shopping type thing more than just a sit there and listen to lectures. I want to do more and I just sit there and talk because I feel like when I just talk I'm talking out of my ass. I know later I go back but I also cringe cuz I know some of the things I did later or this time. I know insulted a good friend of mine doing one of these I felt bad about that still do. I don't know why it's been at the least eight years now going on nine. Maybe that's one of the reasons we lost contact oh well.