01-04-19 Day 4 Hour of Saturn 1325-1355 3-7
Today I did my warm up and then I read my book. Next I pulled a few more entries. My typos are still bad. I've not had a good time with jobs the honey moon is short. I used to have dreams about my extravagant life I would have. But they were unfocused. Thing is they are hard to imagine when you need to fix things like your income today. *
Also today I went to a men's group at the Asheville witch shop. It was getting good and then someone threw some shade at me. They had been sharing for apparently an hour and this guy that had been swallowing back tears the whole time looks at me and says you looked like you were about to talk. And I said do I have to? no, so I said "no, thank you" in what I felt was my most scathing tone. But that fuck ruined the whole event for me. Then at 10 minutes till the end these two guys joined in and one was all about the Jesus damn near proselytizing. I doubt I'll ever go back to that group. On the way home that night I had a panic attack and the car practically it took every resource I had to bring myself down from it but I did. I don't know why but being on small back roads in the snow and ice really gets to me. I can do the highway at really dangerous speeds and I'm fine but get me on the little roads with oncoming traffic and it freaks me the fuck out.
Also today I went to a men's group at the Asheville witch shop. It was getting good and then someone threw some shade at me. They had been sharing for apparently an hour and this guy that had been swallowing back tears the whole time looks at me and says you looked like you were about to talk. And I said do I have to? no, so I said "no, thank you" in what I felt was my most scathing tone. But that fuck ruined the whole event for me. Then at 10 minutes till the end these two guys joined in and one was all about the Jesus damn near proselytizing. I doubt I'll ever go back to that group. On the way home that night I had a panic attack and the car practically it took every resource I had to bring myself down from it but I did. I don't know why but being on small back roads in the snow and ice really gets to me. I can do the highway at really dangerous speeds and I'm fine but get me on the little roads with oncoming traffic and it freaks me the fuck out.