12-30-19 Day 364 Hour of Jupiter 2240-2310 -5
DREAM: Really vivid dream last night. Apparently I was the Antichrist. I was in the woods between Rick's and Lianna's. I stumbled in there I met somebody that tell me what was going on and we lived in these little clearings that were barely big enough for you to sleep in. That immediately started investing in an army some of them look like Squirtle. I left to clear my head That's when the war started. Things got really bad and they started actively searching for us for all the ones that were the Antichrist and I ended up running back just in time some of the demons were nice though and tried to help me get back there. Also do this I had a continuation of that fresh off the boat horror story. They were running a Asian restaurant that was haunted while he's at Asian spirits and they were just now figuring it out and learning how to get it under control. Grandmother was just getting introduced and her Jessica will get it along the youngest was possessed the middle one was figuring out what to do about it the older one in the second part of the dream was out of the house smoking with a priest and working along and ran into a drug dealer at the cemetery and he picked up some drugs and went on mild bender. He felt attached like nothing had any meaning. Then suddenly they were on top of a billboard and he jumps off but the chain on his pants catches the scaffolding so he just drops a few feet and he's laughing his buddy who was scared see really doesn't apply to me. He freaked out everybody there I left the priest was gone by that point but he had been there before they went up to the low hanging billboard. It's only like one story off the ground. The middle kid figured out some of the old Asian banishing techniques the mom was just starting to suspect so now that I was accidentally there and I called some customers to let him know we were closing early or something I don't know why I did that but that's what I did. Once I got back to my little clearing in the woods we gave some of my new Pokemon like things juice boxes and I tried to figure out who my attendant was she was acting like a big sister or like an auntie or something like that. And that's what I woke up.
Today did the warm up I got the vibe set better in the room but it's hard to do anything with that while I'm just copying pasting my entries. No thankfully they picked up pace cuz it went from March to October pretty quickly. Some things I've noticed I've always been a manager. I mean whenever I do a job people will usually defer to me as somebody in command kind of a nice quality to have at least. Secondly I've always been looking for travel opportunities jobs that aren't retail keep trying to get away to get to something. Also I always seem to do a lot for other people and I can't guarantee but there ain't a lot written in my journal about people doing stuff for me. Also women big standout ones was that I can't believe how much I care about everything that nobody else seems to care about. there was a note in there about how it upset me that the college kids in my group after I graduated barely did anything I mean there was no drive there was no passion no fire. Which honestly as a fire sign I really need to learn how to build that up in myself and others. That would also be a good thing to learn if I am going to be a leader or put it into leadership positions is getting other people to follow what I say. Other than that depression wanted to travel I kept trying to engage and go do things without people but it just never seems to pan out. I didn't realize that I don't think I've really slammed the door anybody's faces just saw that the balls drop and nobody ever picks them back up. Kind of sad though you do a lot for other people or even as much as they do and just let us away. It makes me really not want to try and do anything more because in 35 years I can't say I've got a lot out of it. Got this stuff is depressing I hope it gets happier.
Today did the warm up I got the vibe set better in the room but it's hard to do anything with that while I'm just copying pasting my entries. No thankfully they picked up pace cuz it went from March to October pretty quickly. Some things I've noticed I've always been a manager. I mean whenever I do a job people will usually defer to me as somebody in command kind of a nice quality to have at least. Secondly I've always been looking for travel opportunities jobs that aren't retail keep trying to get away to get to something. Also I always seem to do a lot for other people and I can't guarantee but there ain't a lot written in my journal about people doing stuff for me. Also women big standout ones was that I can't believe how much I care about everything that nobody else seems to care about. there was a note in there about how it upset me that the college kids in my group after I graduated barely did anything I mean there was no drive there was no passion no fire. Which honestly as a fire sign I really need to learn how to build that up in myself and others. That would also be a good thing to learn if I am going to be a leader or put it into leadership positions is getting other people to follow what I say. Other than that depression wanted to travel I kept trying to engage and go do things without people but it just never seems to pan out. I didn't realize that I don't think I've really slammed the door anybody's faces just saw that the balls drop and nobody ever picks them back up. Kind of sad though you do a lot for other people or even as much as they do and just let us away. It makes me really not want to try and do anything more because in 35 years I can't say I've got a lot out of it. Got this stuff is depressing I hope it gets happier.