I'm not a slut - what is wrong!?!?!?!
It's funny when i'm talking to people about sex. It's not a subject that I think should be overtalked about in civilized conversations; but I see no reason to deny people the ability to work things out in their own sex lives through bouncing ideas and stories off other people. It's how we learn about things. I expect parents to give the initial idea to the kids. "Daddy's snake goes in mommy's cavernous temple" and so on. But apart from that it's bouncing around stories and having people define terms for you that allow a person to grow sexually and experiment in their own lives until they figure out what it is they like exactly. I would be horrified if during the first initial sex talk, a kid's parents introduced the idea of fisting to someone. Some people just aren't ready for stuff like that...things of that nature are reserved for level 12 sex maniacs, hehhe.
But here in Killeen, Texas people have really limited themselves to what they experience sexually. A girl was talking to me about how she wants to spice up her sex life by using a pair of handcuffs. And I said "that's fine, but you guys have done that before right?" and they had. So I suggested that while she was doing whatever she was doing for her boyfriend, she lube up her finger and put it in his ass. She was absolutely horrified and said she would do no such thing, but later she said she did exactly that and her boyfriend proposed to her. I mean that literally, he bought a ring and proposed to her. Hehehe.
And another girl was very depressed one day because she came into work and the previous night she had been involved in her first one night stand. And she didn't know how to feel about that because (1) he just left after they had sex and (2) she told me she felt like a slut because counting that man she'd been with exactly 9 people. NINE!!!!! So I told her that the definition of a one night stand is that he DOES leave after the sex, that's the point. So he did exactly what he was supposed to and it's doubtful that he felt bad about leaving so she certainly should not. And as for being a slut because you've been with nine people? I said "honey i've been with more men than exists in most church congregations and i'm not talking about the little churches either so nine people is nothing compared to some of the numbers that are being thrown around there these days" and she felt better.
Here in Killeen though, I've redefined what it is i'm looking for. Because of the way people act out here and the fact that I had established such a huge friendship base back in Huntsville, it made me appreciate the people in my life a lot more. Fuck buddies aren't really going to bail you out of jail, or make you soup when you're sick or give you rides to work when your car breaks. They're not going to ask you for help when they need it because they have friends for that, or they should. And when I realized at one point that everyone in my phone was a fuck buddy I started calming down on the sex and making more friends, which led to boyfriends and then ex-boyfriends and I got to experience all of that fun mess.
In Killeen i've had sex with pretty much no one (except this one doctor, and he's a doctor so go me) and everyone is all about sex out here. There is no hanging out, and the one person who wants me to hang out with him and his boyfriend is usually so fucked up on drugs when I get there that it's useless to try to make a friend out of him. So i'm here with my older brother and maybe that's the point - i'm here to cultivate a better relationship with him and his wife and my younger brother. Because after Killeen i'm moving to Kansas City, Missouri and I won't be very close to them so I won't get to go visit them. The gay people here are distressing, but they are my "other family" so I have to appreciate them for where they are, even if i'm not interested in having sex or getting to know any of them. They are my people.
-Aaron-
But here in Killeen, Texas people have really limited themselves to what they experience sexually. A girl was talking to me about how she wants to spice up her sex life by using a pair of handcuffs. And I said "that's fine, but you guys have done that before right?" and they had. So I suggested that while she was doing whatever she was doing for her boyfriend, she lube up her finger and put it in his ass. She was absolutely horrified and said she would do no such thing, but later she said she did exactly that and her boyfriend proposed to her. I mean that literally, he bought a ring and proposed to her. Hehehe.
And another girl was very depressed one day because she came into work and the previous night she had been involved in her first one night stand. And she didn't know how to feel about that because (1) he just left after they had sex and (2) she told me she felt like a slut because counting that man she'd been with exactly 9 people. NINE!!!!! So I told her that the definition of a one night stand is that he DOES leave after the sex, that's the point. So he did exactly what he was supposed to and it's doubtful that he felt bad about leaving so she certainly should not. And as for being a slut because you've been with nine people? I said "honey i've been with more men than exists in most church congregations and i'm not talking about the little churches either so nine people is nothing compared to some of the numbers that are being thrown around there these days" and she felt better.
Here in Killeen though, I've redefined what it is i'm looking for. Because of the way people act out here and the fact that I had established such a huge friendship base back in Huntsville, it made me appreciate the people in my life a lot more. Fuck buddies aren't really going to bail you out of jail, or make you soup when you're sick or give you rides to work when your car breaks. They're not going to ask you for help when they need it because they have friends for that, or they should. And when I realized at one point that everyone in my phone was a fuck buddy I started calming down on the sex and making more friends, which led to boyfriends and then ex-boyfriends and I got to experience all of that fun mess.
In Killeen i've had sex with pretty much no one (except this one doctor, and he's a doctor so go me) and everyone is all about sex out here. There is no hanging out, and the one person who wants me to hang out with him and his boyfriend is usually so fucked up on drugs when I get there that it's useless to try to make a friend out of him. So i'm here with my older brother and maybe that's the point - i'm here to cultivate a better relationship with him and his wife and my younger brother. Because after Killeen i'm moving to Kansas City, Missouri and I won't be very close to them so I won't get to go visit them. The gay people here are distressing, but they are my "other family" so I have to appreciate them for where they are, even if i'm not interested in having sex or getting to know any of them. They are my people.
-Aaron-