Coming clean

Apr 23, 2009 02:54

Furiously scribbled in a letter left on the kitchen counter of Adam's loft.

Coming Clean )

[about] decisions going wrong, [verse] adam

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adamseden April 22 2009, 20:01:47 UTC
Don,

I did not shut you down. I accepted your check, and I thanked you for it. I did not tell you that I didn't want to be with you, or I didn't think it would be a wise move for us to get a place together. The check will go for a down payment on a house.

When I said I would be more then happy to make the mortgage payments I didn't mean for you to take offense. I simply wanted to do something nice for you. With your money you could save it up and do something nice for yourself, for Loir, even a family vacation would be nice.

I am looking at this decision in the long term. If we buy a house together and it turns out that we split up then how are we going to divide it all? I am trying to make this as simple as possible, for you, for Loir. I want to be with you, I love you very much, but even I can't see into the future. What I am doing I am doing to protect yourself and me. I have seen relationships fall apart. Good friends and lovers turned into bitter, jealous harpies that want nothing more then to pick over the bones so they come out on top.

I don't want that. Not now, not ever. I am not backing out. I want to have a future with you, but a good, strong future. Planning ahead is not backing out or shying away.

If I thought of you is nothing but a fuck, I wouldn't have let you meet my family. I don't know what more I can do to show you that I care. I told you once that I am not a man of words. I don't say the right thing, but I try to do right, try to do good. I am trying to do good with you.

I hate writing, my handwriting is horrible and my spelling is for shit.

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flack_nypd April 22 2009, 23:47:43 UTC
Calls him after seeing the letter, his voice contrite and soft.

Can I come home now?

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adamseden April 22 2009, 23:48:41 UTC
I want you to come home very much.

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flack_nypd April 22 2009, 23:52:19 UTC
I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions, babe.

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adamseden April 22 2009, 23:53:19 UTC
I'm sorry I didn't explain myself better, that I wasn't more understanding.

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