Coming clean
Furiously scribbled in a letter left on the kitchen counter of Adam's loft.
Adam,
I've been in six relationships my entire life. I can count on one and a half hands how many guys I've slept with.
For me to give myself to someone takes a lot. I've been hurt before, both by my partners, and other events that were beyond my control and that I still struggle with to this day. When I open myself up to someone, it's not something I do lightly. I think it over even if it may not look like it.
When I make a leap, it's something that I've decided and weighed the pros and cons of for several days, sometimes weeks. It was that way when I was persuing a career in Homicide and it'll be that way with every other important step in my life.
So when I do something that major and I get shut down, or get given a reply that's unsure, it pisses me off and it hurts. I don't do things without thinking of other people who might be affected. Never have. Doing things like that gets you killed in my profession.
Also, I've never taken a handout in my life. Never will. I honestly find it insulting when someone tries to pass something off as though it's not a big deal and tell me 'not to worry about it'. It's why I've never taken a bribe in my life, never taken the easy way out. If I need something, I work for it and I buy it. Plain and simple. I'm not about to sit here and basically be handed something as big as say, a house or a car and just sit back and pat myself on the back for getting it for free. That's not how it works with me, or anyone in my family for that matter.
If you're not sure of the future, or not sure whether you want me around anymore, say it. And don't be a hypocrite and tell me not to be dramatic or be so afraid and then turn around and do the same thing you just chastized me for not weeks ago.
When you've decide whether you want me for more than just something to stick your dick in, let me know.
Adam,
I've been in six relationships my entire life. I can count on one and a half hands how many guys I've slept with.
For me to give myself to someone takes a lot. I've been hurt before, both by my partners, and other events that were beyond my control and that I still struggle with to this day. When I open myself up to someone, it's not something I do lightly. I think it over even if it may not look like it.
When I make a leap, it's something that I've decided and weighed the pros and cons of for several days, sometimes weeks. It was that way when I was persuing a career in Homicide and it'll be that way with every other important step in my life.
So when I do something that major and I get shut down, or get given a reply that's unsure, it pisses me off and it hurts. I don't do things without thinking of other people who might be affected. Never have. Doing things like that gets you killed in my profession.
Also, I've never taken a handout in my life. Never will. I honestly find it insulting when someone tries to pass something off as though it's not a big deal and tell me 'not to worry about it'. It's why I've never taken a bribe in my life, never taken the easy way out. If I need something, I work for it and I buy it. Plain and simple. I'm not about to sit here and basically be handed something as big as say, a house or a car and just sit back and pat myself on the back for getting it for free. That's not how it works with me, or anyone in my family for that matter.
If you're not sure of the future, or not sure whether you want me around anymore, say it. And don't be a hypocrite and tell me not to be dramatic or be so afraid and then turn around and do the same thing you just chastized me for not weeks ago.
When you've decide whether you want me for more than just something to stick your dick in, let me know.