From the desk of Sideways Mary
PEOPLE, ARE YOU READY? I DON'T THINK YOU'RE READY.
I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT
FRINGE.
Okay, okay, so PSYCH. I totally watch Fringe sometimes. I just don't do it regularly. And I especially don't do it when pirateygoodness asks me to, because I believe in torture and childlike antagonism. You know how I am with ridiculousness, though. I feel it in the air. It calls out to me. So I actually regret that I didn't watch that LSD episode until now, because LSD.
That said, let us relive the experience now, like a flashback that just won't go away, and discuss the many interesting things buried in this episode.
A. SPOCK!OLIVIA. That. Ridiculous. Voice. It was reaching levels of embarrassment unseen since that musical episode of Grey's Anatomy. AND THEN OLIVIA TOTALLY FORGOT HOW TO TALK LIKE HERSELF.
I spent this scene basically laughing at Olivia's voice getting randomly ~raspy, which wasn't really happening during that trippy mess. This is when I began to suspect I was being given clues. This is when I began to suspect it could be the show's way of telling us some part of Bell stayed behind and totally wanted to frisk Peter. That's right. William Bell/Peter Pacey. Endgame.
B. OLIVIA'S BRAIN. Did you catch that? Did you catch the very first thing Olivia's brain did, in those very first ten seconds or so where they jumped into her mind? It told you this was going to suck really bad, so we should just
C. THE FAIRYTALE. a.k.a. WHERE I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING. Right? Because even though Olivia's Brain told me everything was going to suck, I still tried to think. I looked at that building and thought, "Oh, the princess is locked in the tower." From here, we can reach two different conclusions:
C1. TRAP. It's totally a trap. Do you know who lures Princes into thinking they're rescuing Princesses but really they're just about to get a whiff of dragon's breath?
Disney Villains! Holy. Fuckballs.
C2. FORESHADOWING! Meaning there really is a Princess up there for Peter to save: William Bell! Weter. Endgame. I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW.
D. CGI IS EVIL. So it's really fucked up in your brain right now and everything is evil? Guess what shows up: CGI.
E. TRAUMA. Here Olivia's Brain blatantly showed us two traumatic events that shaped who Olivia is today:
E1. Resident Evil 2.
Hey, it came with her Playstation. She was new to this. She didn't know there were zombies. She didn't know where to run when they all came at her when the game had barely started. This never happened in Super Mario Bros.
That's why she's so good at shooting people in the head, now. It's how you make them stay dead.
E2. The day she found out about Santa Claus.
Nope, not real. You buy your own presents, you put them under the tree yourself, you rescue your own ass.
F. CTRL+ALT+DEL. And now that we're back in the real world, in every corner a startling revelation. We may come up with technology that allows us to journey into someone's mind, we may develop technology that allows us to mix it all together and get the best of both worlds, but we will never truly escape the claws...
...of the Blue Screen of Death.
H. ONORARY MENTION. (Yeah, I can bend the alphabet. We're all tripping, I do whatever I want.)
At some point I thought of analyzing this scene, where CGI!Kid!Olivia tells everyone THEY SHALL NOT PASS. Perhaps the Disney Princess theory was a decoy, I thought. Perhaps what Olivia's Brain is really telling us when it showed William Bell up in that Building/Tower is GODDAMN IT SARUMAN I TRUSTED YOU AND LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKING MESS YOU MADE.
But then even I thought that didn't make any sense.
G. THE END. Was it really necessary for Olivia to say she thought that random dude was going to kill her? No. Because throughout this episode we've been trained in the art of the subconscious - by Olivia's own brain, no less. We can easily translate this prime example of master storytelling:
Olivia? Is toast.
In conclusion, this show needs more girls.
I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT
FRINGE.
Okay, okay, so PSYCH. I totally watch Fringe sometimes. I just don't do it regularly. And I especially don't do it when pirateygoodness asks me to, because I believe in torture and childlike antagonism. You know how I am with ridiculousness, though. I feel it in the air. It calls out to me. So I actually regret that I didn't watch that LSD episode until now, because LSD.
That said, let us relive the experience now, like a flashback that just won't go away, and discuss the many interesting things buried in this episode.
A. SPOCK!OLIVIA. That. Ridiculous. Voice. It was reaching levels of embarrassment unseen since that musical episode of Grey's Anatomy. AND THEN OLIVIA TOTALLY FORGOT HOW TO TALK LIKE HERSELF.
I spent this scene basically laughing at Olivia's voice getting randomly ~raspy, which wasn't really happening during that trippy mess. This is when I began to suspect I was being given clues. This is when I began to suspect it could be the show's way of telling us some part of Bell stayed behind and totally wanted to frisk Peter. That's right. William Bell/Peter Pacey. Endgame.
B. OLIVIA'S BRAIN. Did you catch that? Did you catch the very first thing Olivia's brain did, in those very first ten seconds or so where they jumped into her mind? It told you this was going to suck really bad, so we should just
C. THE FAIRYTALE. a.k.a. WHERE I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING. Right? Because even though Olivia's Brain told me everything was going to suck, I still tried to think. I looked at that building and thought, "Oh, the princess is locked in the tower." From here, we can reach two different conclusions:
C1. TRAP. It's totally a trap. Do you know who lures Princes into thinking they're rescuing Princesses but really they're just about to get a whiff of dragon's breath?
Disney Villains! Holy. Fuckballs.
C2. FORESHADOWING! Meaning there really is a Princess up there for Peter to save: William Bell! Weter. Endgame. I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW.
D. CGI IS EVIL. So it's really fucked up in your brain right now and everything is evil? Guess what shows up: CGI.
E. TRAUMA. Here Olivia's Brain blatantly showed us two traumatic events that shaped who Olivia is today:
E1. Resident Evil 2.
Hey, it came with her Playstation. She was new to this. She didn't know there were zombies. She didn't know where to run when they all came at her when the game had barely started. This never happened in Super Mario Bros.
That's why she's so good at shooting people in the head, now. It's how you make them stay dead.
E2. The day she found out about Santa Claus.
Nope, not real. You buy your own presents, you put them under the tree yourself, you rescue your own ass.
F. CTRL+ALT+DEL. And now that we're back in the real world, in every corner a startling revelation. We may come up with technology that allows us to journey into someone's mind, we may develop technology that allows us to mix it all together and get the best of both worlds, but we will never truly escape the claws...
...of the Blue Screen of Death.
H. ONORARY MENTION. (Yeah, I can bend the alphabet. We're all tripping, I do whatever I want.)
At some point I thought of analyzing this scene, where CGI!Kid!Olivia tells everyone THEY SHALL NOT PASS. Perhaps the Disney Princess theory was a decoy, I thought. Perhaps what Olivia's Brain is really telling us when it showed William Bell up in that Building/Tower is GODDAMN IT SARUMAN I TRUSTED YOU AND LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKING MESS YOU MADE.
But then even I thought that didn't make any sense.
G. THE END. Was it really necessary for Olivia to say she thought that random dude was going to kill her? No. Because throughout this episode we've been trained in the art of the subconscious - by Olivia's own brain, no less. We can easily translate this prime example of master storytelling:
Olivia? Is toast.
In conclusion, this show needs more girls.