fic: murder mix [music videos make it hard to label things, lady gaga]
murder mix. lady gaga. weird music video 'verse. 1080 words.
Technically inspired by usomitai's prompt ("I'm not kidding when I say this, there's a price to being famous: yeah, it's therapy and valium") at that ladies comment ficathon thing. Turned out more like 'The Fame Monster meets Nightmare Journalism 101'. Edit: Or "Gaga does Arkham Asylum" ~ jengrrrl LOLLL.
[START OF TAPE 4 OF 8]
I: Are you ready to talk now?
SG: [no answer]
I: Stefani.
SG: Yes?
I: I need you to answer.
SG: You're asking the wrong questions.
[Inaudible: 3 minutes of interview missing]
SG: Because you're trying to crack me. I just wanna make a fucking friend.
I: I'm trying to- [glass is smashed] Guards, please.
[END OF TAPE 4 OF 8]
[START OF TAPE 3 OF 8, SIDE A]
I: But you'd seen him before.
SG: Maybe. Not sure.
I: You told Dr. [Redacted] you had.
SG: Did I?
I: Yes.
SG: Where?
I: On a subway train.
SG: [laughs]
I: Fair enough. I guess you don't want to talk to me, today.
[END OF TAPE 3 OF 8, SIDE A]
[START OF TAPE 8 OF 8]
I: I've turned the tape recorder back on.
SG: [speaking close to the recorder] Hello.
I: Yesterday we discussed-
SG: Come on, you can smile. We're friends now.
I: I'm glad you think so.
SG: Don't you?
I: Yes, I do.
SG: Good.
I: [clears throat] Yesterday we were discussing the night of your arrest. Do you remember what we spoke about?
SG: Death.
I: To an extent, yes.
SG: You're so morbid, Doc.
I: This is a morbid business.
SG: It is, isn't it?
I: Would you like to discuss what happened that night?
SG: Just tell me when.
I: [a sigh] Now, Stefani.
SG: You can't discuss the now. It is what it is.
I: That's not what I meant.
SG: And I can't discuss the past. Always move forward.
I: Answer me.
SG: You're asking the wrong-
I: [indiscernible expletive]
[Tape turned off and back on]
I: I apologize.
SG. It's okay, Doc. Let me see your mean.
I: ...I'm afraid I won't be able to continue with our sessions.
[END OF TAPE 8 OF 8]
[START OF TAPE 5 OF 8]
SG: Hi, Doc.
I: Hello.
SG: Did you miss me?
I: I'm glad to see you calmer.
SG: They love to inject me with that zen shit.
I: We're just trying to help you.
SG: So they say.
I: You don't think so?
SG: I think you want a body. I think you're frustrated.
I: Your cooperation would certainly help, yes.
SG: You know how it is, Doc. Some girls won’t dance to the beat of the track.
I: Quite well, but there is a difference between eccentricity and deliberate obstruction.
SG: Is there? One way or another, they call you a criminal.
I: You don't think you're a criminal?
SG: No. [a long pause] I'm free.
[END OF TAPE 5 OF 8]
[START OF TAPE 2 OF 8]
I: Now, if you feel uncomfortable-
SG: I'll ring the bell. I know the drill, Doc.
I: Tell me about Alejandro.
SG: What is there to tell?
I: He's dead.
SG: I know.
I: And you took his heart out.
[END OF TAPE 2 OF 8; START OF TAPE 3 OF 8, SIDE B]
SG: He ate my heart.
I: How so?
SG: [a long sigh]
[END OF TAPE 3 OF 8, SIDE B]
[START OF TAPE 7 OF 8]
I: Let me play you the 911 tape.
SG: I know what it says.
I: Do you notice how you sound?
SG: [a pause] Happy.
I: Why do you think you sound happy?
SG: I was having a good time.
I: You've just killed a man.
SG: You sound distressed, Doc.
I: I am not.
SG: I think that's a lie, Doc. I think that's a big fucking lie.
I: I can only be honest with you if you're honest with me.
SG: Can I smoke here?
I: No.
SG: Okay, question.
I: I make the questions here.
SG: Why do you think it is that you only wanna talk about boys, Doc? Do you think it means something?
I: That is not the point of this-
SG: 'Cause I think it means you love a big donkey- [tape is turned off abruptly]
[END OF TAPE 7 OF 8]
[START OF TAPE 6 OF 8]
I: Let's try something different.
SG: Okay.
I: Tell me about Beyoncé.
SG: Oh, I love her. [a sigh] I really do. She's a great girl.
I: Do you know where she is right now?
SG: No.
I: But she is someone you admire.
SG: Of course.
I: What do you think she would say, if she knew you'd killed again?
SG: She'd give me a spanking.
[Interview interrupted by phone call]
I: I'm sorry, what did you say?
SG: [no answer]
I: Do you not want to discuss Beyoncé anymore?
SG: No.
I: Do you want to discuss what you did?
SG: He was sending the wrong message.
I: Senator [Redacted]?
SG: He was just sending the wrong fucking message.
[END OF TAPE 6 OF 8]
[START OF TAPE 1 OF 8]
INTERVIEWER: DOCTOR [Redacted]
PATIENT: STEFANI GERMANOTTA (INMATE #190210)
The following are transcripts from a series of interviews conducted by Dr. [Redacted], working in conjunction with Agent [Redacted] of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Prior to these interviews, Drs. [Redacted] and [Redacted] handled the case, with inconclusive or contradictory diagnoses. Subject has since escaped federal custody.
I: Good morning, I'm Doctor [Redacted]
SG: Hey, Doc. How are you?
I: I'll be doing your evaluation in the next week or so. I understand you were working with Dr. [Redacted]?
SG: Yeah. [a pause] He quit.
I: [laughs] I'm sure you'll find me to be quite more patient.
SG: I'm sure I will.
I: Now, throughout our meetings we will probably revisit certain experiences you might have already discussed with Dr. [Redacted]. It is important that we do, however. No matter how ugly.
SG: I love ugly.
I: I understand Dr. [Redacted] asked to be removed from the investigation after some disagreements.
SG: We got caught in something bad, yes.
I: I can assure you I'm not here to fight you.
SG: I don't mind. We don't have to be friends.
I: I certainly would not like us to be enemies.
SG: You know what's funny? Nobody ever asks "How are you" anymore.
I: Yes, it's imperative that you tell me that, as well.
SG: You didn't ask me.
I: How are you?
SG: I'm fine, thank you.
I: I-
SG: See, it is important that you ask the right questions.
I: Yes.
SG: Otherwise we can't move forward.
I: Yes, I agree.
SG: Shall we begin?
[END OF TAPE 1 OF 8]
Technically inspired by usomitai's prompt ("I'm not kidding when I say this, there's a price to being famous: yeah, it's therapy and valium") at that ladies comment ficathon thing. Turned out more like 'The Fame Monster meets Nightmare Journalism 101'. Edit: Or "Gaga does Arkham Asylum" ~ jengrrrl LOLLL.
[START OF TAPE 4 OF 8]
I: Are you ready to talk now?
SG: [no answer]
I: Stefani.
SG: Yes?
I: I need you to answer.
SG: You're asking the wrong questions.
[Inaudible: 3 minutes of interview missing]
SG: Because you're trying to crack me. I just wanna make a fucking friend.
I: I'm trying to- [glass is smashed] Guards, please.
[END OF TAPE 4 OF 8]
[START OF TAPE 3 OF 8, SIDE A]
I: But you'd seen him before.
SG: Maybe. Not sure.
I: You told Dr. [Redacted] you had.
SG: Did I?
I: Yes.
SG: Where?
I: On a subway train.
SG: [laughs]
I: Fair enough. I guess you don't want to talk to me, today.
[END OF TAPE 3 OF 8, SIDE A]
[START OF TAPE 8 OF 8]
I: I've turned the tape recorder back on.
SG: [speaking close to the recorder] Hello.
I: Yesterday we discussed-
SG: Come on, you can smile. We're friends now.
I: I'm glad you think so.
SG: Don't you?
I: Yes, I do.
SG: Good.
I: [clears throat] Yesterday we were discussing the night of your arrest. Do you remember what we spoke about?
SG: Death.
I: To an extent, yes.
SG: You're so morbid, Doc.
I: This is a morbid business.
SG: It is, isn't it?
I: Would you like to discuss what happened that night?
SG: Just tell me when.
I: [a sigh] Now, Stefani.
SG: You can't discuss the now. It is what it is.
I: That's not what I meant.
SG: And I can't discuss the past. Always move forward.
I: Answer me.
SG: You're asking the wrong-
I: [indiscernible expletive]
[Tape turned off and back on]
I: I apologize.
SG. It's okay, Doc. Let me see your mean.
I: ...I'm afraid I won't be able to continue with our sessions.
[END OF TAPE 8 OF 8]
[START OF TAPE 5 OF 8]
SG: Hi, Doc.
I: Hello.
SG: Did you miss me?
I: I'm glad to see you calmer.
SG: They love to inject me with that zen shit.
I: We're just trying to help you.
SG: So they say.
I: You don't think so?
SG: I think you want a body. I think you're frustrated.
I: Your cooperation would certainly help, yes.
SG: You know how it is, Doc. Some girls won’t dance to the beat of the track.
I: Quite well, but there is a difference between eccentricity and deliberate obstruction.
SG: Is there? One way or another, they call you a criminal.
I: You don't think you're a criminal?
SG: No. [a long pause] I'm free.
[END OF TAPE 5 OF 8]
[START OF TAPE 2 OF 8]
I: Now, if you feel uncomfortable-
SG: I'll ring the bell. I know the drill, Doc.
I: Tell me about Alejandro.
SG: What is there to tell?
I: He's dead.
SG: I know.
I: And you took his heart out.
[END OF TAPE 2 OF 8; START OF TAPE 3 OF 8, SIDE B]
SG: He ate my heart.
I: How so?
SG: [a long sigh]
[END OF TAPE 3 OF 8, SIDE B]
[START OF TAPE 7 OF 8]
I: Let me play you the 911 tape.
SG: I know what it says.
I: Do you notice how you sound?
SG: [a pause] Happy.
I: Why do you think you sound happy?
SG: I was having a good time.
I: You've just killed a man.
SG: You sound distressed, Doc.
I: I am not.
SG: I think that's a lie, Doc. I think that's a big fucking lie.
I: I can only be honest with you if you're honest with me.
SG: Can I smoke here?
I: No.
SG: Okay, question.
I: I make the questions here.
SG: Why do you think it is that you only wanna talk about boys, Doc? Do you think it means something?
I: That is not the point of this-
SG: 'Cause I think it means you love a big donkey- [tape is turned off abruptly]
[END OF TAPE 7 OF 8]
[START OF TAPE 6 OF 8]
I: Let's try something different.
SG: Okay.
I: Tell me about Beyoncé.
SG: Oh, I love her. [a sigh] I really do. She's a great girl.
I: Do you know where she is right now?
SG: No.
I: But she is someone you admire.
SG: Of course.
I: What do you think she would say, if she knew you'd killed again?
SG: She'd give me a spanking.
[Interview interrupted by phone call]
I: I'm sorry, what did you say?
SG: [no answer]
I: Do you not want to discuss Beyoncé anymore?
SG: No.
I: Do you want to discuss what you did?
SG: He was sending the wrong message.
I: Senator [Redacted]?
SG: He was just sending the wrong fucking message.
[END OF TAPE 6 OF 8]
[START OF TAPE 1 OF 8]
INTERVIEWER: DOCTOR [Redacted]
PATIENT: STEFANI GERMANOTTA (INMATE #190210)
The following are transcripts from a series of interviews conducted by Dr. [Redacted], working in conjunction with Agent [Redacted] of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Prior to these interviews, Drs. [Redacted] and [Redacted] handled the case, with inconclusive or contradictory diagnoses. Subject has since escaped federal custody.
I: Good morning, I'm Doctor [Redacted]
SG: Hey, Doc. How are you?
I: I'll be doing your evaluation in the next week or so. I understand you were working with Dr. [Redacted]?
SG: Yeah. [a pause] He quit.
I: [laughs] I'm sure you'll find me to be quite more patient.
SG: I'm sure I will.
I: Now, throughout our meetings we will probably revisit certain experiences you might have already discussed with Dr. [Redacted]. It is important that we do, however. No matter how ugly.
SG: I love ugly.
I: I understand Dr. [Redacted] asked to be removed from the investigation after some disagreements.
SG: We got caught in something bad, yes.
I: I can assure you I'm not here to fight you.
SG: I don't mind. We don't have to be friends.
I: I certainly would not like us to be enemies.
SG: You know what's funny? Nobody ever asks "How are you" anymore.
I: Yes, it's imperative that you tell me that, as well.
SG: You didn't ask me.
I: How are you?
SG: I'm fine, thank you.
I: I-
SG: See, it is important that you ask the right questions.
I: Yes.
SG: Otherwise we can't move forward.
I: Yes, I agree.
SG: Shall we begin?
[END OF TAPE 1 OF 8]