gossip girl 2.25, the goodbye gossip girl
The Goodbye Gossip Girl, a picspammy recap likely to finish loading in 2010.
I'm interpreting the fact that public transportation is currently paralyzed as a sign from Shirley herself to recap and picspam instead of going to class. It's true, I woke up this afternoon morning and heard a voice from above, saying, "STAY PUT MARY. I WILL SPREAD THE WORD. AND the bird is the word THE WORD IS STRIKE."
So now let's get this mess started with my completely unbiased comments. *cough*
"You're famous because you got arrested. Of course this happened to you."
LOL but also awwww, classic Blair.
"I love her. I LOVE her. I love HER."
Yes Blair, we know.
"It's not like we stay up all night braiding each other's hair and having hot dogs." (Edit: I've just been told the line is actually "heart to hearts" - MY EARS ARE TRYING TO FORCE INAPPROPRIATENESS, WTF)
YOU TOTALLY DO. And then Chuck apologizes for spilling his hot sauce over your buns (what? you were totally thinking it too)
Oh, Blair. Why so awesome?
WTF. SERIOUSLY SHOW, WHY DID YOU GIVE HER A CAMERA AGAIN? And did you notice how she's wearing that blue coat that is almost the same shade the actual students are wearing? BLENDING IN. But anyway, awww classic Vanessa.
"...Right after I get back from my backpacking through Europe, of course."
OF COURSE.
SERIOUSLY, BACKPACKING THROUGH EUROPE? I feel like they just threw a Season 3 spoiler in our faces: the Vanessa/Ken Adams lovechild. But not so fast, Vanessa. Just when you think you're gonna come onto Nate now that he's free from Blair--
"Party? What party."
HAAAAAI DAN. Throw yourself in that picture, bro. What party? There's no party time without Dan Humphrey. You can tell Nate's heart just skipped a beat. Awww, classic favorite lesbians.
Minion!fail. Did you honestly think you could pull anything off without Blair knowing, Minionites? And especially in this episode, when Blair is pwning the world? And most importantly, WITHOUT HAZEL? IS QUEEN HAZEL NOT GRADUATING? OMG you guys, hold me.
PS: STOP YOUR MOUTH FROM MOVING.
Considering the graduation color code, way to send a message with your wardrobe, S. Girly on the outside. Stud to her core.
OH. Did you notice how DAN HUMPHREY IS SUDDENLY NOT ANNOYING? I don't know when that happened! Lies, I totally know when that happened. Possibly, when he and Serena stopped being A GIANT FUN-SUCKING VORTEX.
Still, Queen Hazel isn't graduating, Dan is amusing.... I don't know what to believe anymore.
Let's be distracted by Serena's stupid adorable face!
LOLLLLLLLLLL. They probably read Charlie Trout: A Dark Novel and thought THERE'S NO WAY THIS KID IS GRADUATING. THIS IS FOR THE LULZ, RIGHT? Congratulations, Don!
PS: I love how the school's way of making amends is SENDING A LITTLE CARD.
Cheesiness aside, how cute was Blair?
RUFUS GOT KISSES FROM ELEANOR AGAIN. I don't know why he doesn't just come out and admit he considered a male model career in order to pay for Dan's school.
They're moving on to greater things. *wink wink*
Let's be distracted by Serena's stupid adorable hair thing!
1. CLASS WHORE. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. 2. Please, Serena will never be irrelevant. You can see her beautiful shiny hair from space! (and Penelope's fugly scarf)
LOL. Dan should join the cater-waiter business for good and take Vanessa with him, so they could also provide entertainment between courses and charge more.
Awww, classic OT4. Except I don't remember scheming in the staircase before. AWWWWW.
Admit it, you were shitting your pants for five seconds there when Jonathan's cell phone rang. And then you loled. And then you remembered that yeah, there was no way he was Gossip Girl, but good times. Also, I just know Serena told Chuck to get the room quiet because they have a long history of awkward family dinners and she just trusts him to get the job done.
...Yeah I was trying to shove some Sib!Yay in there but it didn't work. Polite laugh, anyone? No? Okay.
THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON IN THIS SHOT. Nate Archibald has a small something! AND JOHN HENRY SENT A TIP ABOUT SERENA'S DAD? I FUCKING KNEW IT. GOSSIP GIRL = SKYNET.
Our kids are graduating. LET'S HAVE SOME BEER AND USE SOMETHING I FOUND IN CHUCK'S ROOM. I love this show so much lololol
(PS: Why does Rufus automatically assume something that was in Chuck's room must be good? *twirls mustache*)
How can I possibly be thinking "Aww, Blair and Eleanor bonding" and "Oh, remember Leighton/Margaret and sexy times against the door" at the same time? I hate my brain so much. Also, how amazingly true did that fic turn out to be re: ice cream and Bleighton? lol
LOLOLOL NELLY YUKI. "There's something I have to tell you and it's only because I'm durnk. Shh!" I LOVE THIS SHOW.
Orange Juice!
(I am only doing this to distract you from the fact I just saw Chuck and realized there's a fuckload of gratuitous capping about to happen)
I mean, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
Okay, okay, okay. Stop. If ever there was a point to that 80s flashback last week, it was to reveal whose fault it was for Gossip Girl's existence. Who could've brought back this plague from Mars California? WHO TRULY BROUGHT Veronica THIS ON THOSE POOR KIDS THROUGH THE MAGIC OF TIME-TRAVELING?
I WONDER.
NELLY YUKI, YOU'RE ON FIRE. LOL
BLAIRBEAR, STOP CRYING BECAUSE OF THAT WIMPY ASSHAT. *sad*
Watch out for Tiffany's selling Leaky Hawk originals.
WHAT. WAS. THIS. SCENE.
"Forget boys, keep your eyes on the prize." + "For what it's worth, you're my queen." GAYSPLOSION?
"I choose you." POKÉMON?
And then I realized Blair began this episode saying "I LOVE HER" and was now wearing black nail polish and being sweet to an eyeliner-abusing arch nemesis? *cough*FORESHADOWING*cough*
(Semi-related note since I'm apparently in the mood to randomly mention fic: I don't know why I've never been able to disassociate the Jenny/Blair ship with "I'm a drug addict living off my rich girlfriend" lol)
Let's be distracted by Serena's stupid sad and adorable I-don't-wanna-be-irrelevant face! *cuddles*
Not gonna lie, Nate going OH MY GOD every time someone new entered the room, like he had totally figured out who GG was? LOL PARTY. I bet if my dog showed up he'd think it was Gossip Girl too. Oh, well.
Fine, laugh at me. I thought this scene was super sweet. They're all Gossip Girl! They bonded one last time! She's going to college with them!
"You don't have to apologize... just take off your clothes."
"It's to remind you of who you are."
...your bitch? IDK THESE LAST SCENES HAVE BEEN VERY MEANINGFUL.
"Come with me."
SEE?
"When you're ready to start moving again you know I will be here."
Awwww. WHY DID YOU EVER LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE, S? *tear*
Awwwww It has just occurred to me that hugging Blake must be hard on Leighton's back.
...
You thought there would be a tasteless joke after this, didn't you? I swear I won't go there anymore. That's what she said.
"He got so close when he talked. I could practically taste the scotch on his breath, the darkness of his tormented soul." - Charlie Trout: A Dark Novel, by Daniel Humphrey. For sale in bookstores neverwhere.
And watch out for the next book by this acclaimed author: Our Goal Was Romance: The Mate Aristocrat Story. They play ball a lot. Watch where you put that hand, Badgely.
"Besides, her dad is marrying Lily Bass, so... wait. Did I just crown Miss Desperately Seeking Susan?"
Move down a couple steps, Devirginated.
Blocked Number. HOW IS SHE ALWAYS SO FUCKING CREEPY WITHOUT EVEN BEING ON SCREEN?
"I'd like to request a roommate. Blair Waldorf? She's my best friend and I can't wait to live with her."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS: "THE ROOMMATE" JUST GOT 10X FUNNIER Y/N?
OMGSTOPTHETRAIN!PS: But what if all this potential character overlapping and switching between stalker-stalkée leads to an epic mindfuck and Leighton Meester is damaged FOREVER?
Oh, and speaking of things that make me question Leighton Meester's sanity,
CARTER IS BACK.
OKAY, POSSIBLY I JUST STARTED LIKING CARTER. GG SPIES! ♥
(except I wouldn't put it past him to fake all that stuff in order to get Serena to pay for a fun vacation in Fiji lol)
Chuck Bass wears the cheese. It does not wear him. But Leighton was super cute here too, so I'll let it slide. I will not, however, forgive the ridiculous LOVE LOVE LOVE soundtrack in the background. My ears are bleeding and it's not all the crack I smoked.
In conclusion:
"The words did not matter - they had read it so many times. Claire only wished to hear Jordina's voice again and fall asleep in those arms." - Jordina: An Incandescent Particle, by Daniel Humphrey.
Mary's 2MB Gif Conspiracy Corner:
I warned you.
I'm interpreting the fact that public transportation is currently paralyzed as a sign from Shirley herself to recap and picspam instead of going to class. It's true, I woke up this afternoon morning and heard a voice from above, saying, "STAY PUT MARY. I WILL SPREAD THE WORD. AND the bird is the word THE WORD IS STRIKE."
So now let's get this mess started with my completely unbiased comments. *cough*
"You're famous because you got arrested. Of course this happened to you."
LOL but also awwww, classic Blair.
"I love her. I LOVE her. I love HER."
Yes Blair, we know.
"It's not like we stay up all night braiding each other's hair and having hot dogs." (Edit: I've just been told the line is actually "heart to hearts" - MY EARS ARE TRYING TO FORCE INAPPROPRIATENESS, WTF)
YOU TOTALLY DO. And then Chuck apologizes for spilling his hot sauce over your buns (what? you were totally thinking it too)
Oh, Blair. Why so awesome?
WTF. SERIOUSLY SHOW, WHY DID YOU GIVE HER A CAMERA AGAIN? And did you notice how she's wearing that blue coat that is almost the same shade the actual students are wearing? BLENDING IN. But anyway, awww classic Vanessa.
"...Right after I get back from my backpacking through Europe, of course."
OF COURSE.
SERIOUSLY, BACKPACKING THROUGH EUROPE? I feel like they just threw a Season 3 spoiler in our faces: the Vanessa/Ken Adams lovechild. But not so fast, Vanessa. Just when you think you're gonna come onto Nate now that he's free from Blair--
"Party? What party."
HAAAAAI DAN. Throw yourself in that picture, bro. What party? There's no party time without Dan Humphrey. You can tell Nate's heart just skipped a beat. Awww, classic favorite lesbians.
Minion!fail. Did you honestly think you could pull anything off without Blair knowing, Minionites? And especially in this episode, when Blair is pwning the world? And most importantly, WITHOUT HAZEL? IS QUEEN HAZEL NOT GRADUATING? OMG you guys, hold me.
PS: STOP YOUR MOUTH FROM MOVING.
Considering the graduation color code, way to send a message with your wardrobe, S. Girly on the outside. Stud to her core.
OH. Did you notice how DAN HUMPHREY IS SUDDENLY NOT ANNOYING? I don't know when that happened! Lies, I totally know when that happened. Possibly, when he and Serena stopped being A GIANT FUN-SUCKING VORTEX.
Still, Queen Hazel isn't graduating, Dan is amusing.... I don't know what to believe anymore.
Let's be distracted by Serena's stupid adorable face!
LOLLLLLLLLLL. They probably read Charlie Trout: A Dark Novel and thought THERE'S NO WAY THIS KID IS GRADUATING. THIS IS FOR THE LULZ, RIGHT? Congratulations, Don!
PS: I love how the school's way of making amends is SENDING A LITTLE CARD.
Cheesiness aside, how cute was Blair?
RUFUS GOT KISSES FROM ELEANOR AGAIN. I don't know why he doesn't just come out and admit he considered a male model career in order to pay for Dan's school.
They're moving on to greater things. *wink wink*
Let's be distracted by Serena's stupid adorable hair thing!
1. CLASS WHORE. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. 2. Please, Serena will never be irrelevant. You can see her beautiful shiny hair from space! (and Penelope's fugly scarf)
LOL. Dan should join the cater-waiter business for good and take Vanessa with him, so they could also provide entertainment between courses and charge more.
Awww, classic OT4. Except I don't remember scheming in the staircase before. AWWWWW.
Admit it, you were shitting your pants for five seconds there when Jonathan's cell phone rang. And then you loled. And then you remembered that yeah, there was no way he was Gossip Girl, but good times. Also, I just know Serena told Chuck to get the room quiet because they have a long history of awkward family dinners and she just trusts him to get the job done.
...Yeah I was trying to shove some Sib!Yay in there but it didn't work. Polite laugh, anyone? No? Okay.
THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON IN THIS SHOT. Nate Archibald has a small something! AND JOHN HENRY SENT A TIP ABOUT SERENA'S DAD? I FUCKING KNEW IT. GOSSIP GIRL = SKYNET.
Our kids are graduating. LET'S HAVE SOME BEER AND USE SOMETHING I FOUND IN CHUCK'S ROOM. I love this show so much lololol
(PS: Why does Rufus automatically assume something that was in Chuck's room must be good? *twirls mustache*)
How can I possibly be thinking "Aww, Blair and Eleanor bonding" and "Oh, remember Leighton/Margaret and sexy times against the door" at the same time? I hate my brain so much. Also, how amazingly true did that fic turn out to be re: ice cream and Bleighton? lol
LOLOLOL NELLY YUKI. "There's something I have to tell you and it's only because I'm durnk. Shh!" I LOVE THIS SHOW.
Orange Juice!
(I am only doing this to distract you from the fact I just saw Chuck and realized there's a fuckload of gratuitous capping about to happen)
I mean, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
Okay, okay, okay. Stop. If ever there was a point to that 80s flashback last week, it was to reveal whose fault it was for Gossip Girl's existence. Who could've brought back this plague from Mars California? WHO TRULY BROUGHT Veronica THIS ON THOSE POOR KIDS THROUGH THE MAGIC OF TIME-TRAVELING?
I WONDER.
NELLY YUKI, YOU'RE ON FIRE. LOL
BLAIRBEAR, STOP CRYING BECAUSE OF THAT WIMPY ASSHAT. *sad*
Watch out for Tiffany's selling Leaky Hawk originals.
WHAT. WAS. THIS. SCENE.
"Forget boys, keep your eyes on the prize." + "For what it's worth, you're my queen." GAYSPLOSION?
"I choose you." POKÉMON?
And then I realized Blair began this episode saying "I LOVE HER" and was now wearing black nail polish and being sweet to an eyeliner-abusing arch nemesis? *cough*FORESHADOWING*cough*
(Semi-related note since I'm apparently in the mood to randomly mention fic: I don't know why I've never been able to disassociate the Jenny/Blair ship with "I'm a drug addict living off my rich girlfriend" lol)
Let's be distracted by Serena's stupid sad and adorable I-don't-wanna-be-irrelevant face! *cuddles*
Not gonna lie, Nate going OH MY GOD every time someone new entered the room, like he had totally figured out who GG was? LOL PARTY. I bet if my dog showed up he'd think it was Gossip Girl too. Oh, well.
Fine, laugh at me. I thought this scene was super sweet. They're all Gossip Girl! They bonded one last time! She's going to college with them!
"You don't have to apologize... just take off your clothes."
"It's to remind you of who you are."
...your bitch? IDK THESE LAST SCENES HAVE BEEN VERY MEANINGFUL.
"Come with me."
SEE?
"When you're ready to start moving again you know I will be here."
Awwww. WHY DID YOU EVER LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE, S? *tear*
Awwwww It has just occurred to me that hugging Blake must be hard on Leighton's back.
...
You thought there would be a tasteless joke after this, didn't you? I swear I won't go there anymore. That's what she said.
"He got so close when he talked. I could practically taste the scotch on his breath, the darkness of his tormented soul." - Charlie Trout: A Dark Novel, by Daniel Humphrey. For sale in bookstores neverwhere.
And watch out for the next book by this acclaimed author: Our Goal Was Romance: The Mate Aristocrat Story. They play ball a lot. Watch where you put that hand, Badgely.
"Besides, her dad is marrying Lily Bass, so... wait. Did I just crown Miss Desperately Seeking Susan?"
Move down a couple steps, Devirginated.
Blocked Number. HOW IS SHE ALWAYS SO FUCKING CREEPY WITHOUT EVEN BEING ON SCREEN?
"I'd like to request a roommate. Blair Waldorf? She's my best friend and I can't wait to live with her."
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS: "THE ROOMMATE" JUST GOT 10X FUNNIER Y/N?
OMGSTOPTHETRAIN!PS: But what if all this potential character overlapping and switching between stalker-stalkée leads to an epic mindfuck and Leighton Meester is damaged FOREVER?
Oh, and speaking of things that make me question Leighton Meester's sanity,
CARTER IS BACK.
OKAY, POSSIBLY I JUST STARTED LIKING CARTER. GG SPIES! ♥
(except I wouldn't put it past him to fake all that stuff in order to get Serena to pay for a fun vacation in Fiji lol)
Chuck Bass wears the cheese. It does not wear him. But Leighton was super cute here too, so I'll let it slide. I will not, however, forgive the ridiculous LOVE LOVE LOVE soundtrack in the background. My ears are bleeding and it's not all the crack I smoked.
In conclusion:
"The words did not matter - they had read it so many times. Claire only wished to hear Jordina's voice again and fall asleep in those arms." - Jordina: An Incandescent Particle, by Daniel Humphrey.
Mary's 2MB Gif Conspiracy Corner:
I warned you.