COUNTER-PSA: I'VE GOT 95 THESES BUT SOME KAT AIN'T ONE

[fivewhatfive]

THAT'S. IT.

I AM TIRED OF BEING TAUNTED BY POPE JENNIFER THE LIAR.



Disputation of Doctor Mary
on the Power and Efficacy of Kathryn the Lesbian Against the Gay Baby
by Dr. Mary (2009)

Out of love for the truth and the desire to bring it to light, the following propositions will be discussed at Livejournal, under the presidency of the Reverend Mother Mary, Master of Crack and of Sacred Bleightonology, and Lecturer in Ordinary on the same at that place. Wherefore she requests that those who are unable to be present and debate orally with us, may do so by comments.

In the Name of Our Lady Shirley. Amen.

1. Our Lady and Mistress Shirley Manson, when she retired to Scotland and therefore put down The Sims: Alfa et Omega, willed that the whole life of believers should be praise of Meg.

2. This praise cannot be understood to mean sacramental penance, i.e., confession and satisfaction, which is administered by the priests.

3. Yet it means whole acceptance of her truth; there is no acceptance which does not also acknowledge the works of the Holy Spirit, also known as Lily-I-am-100%-straight-Loveless.

4. The Holy Spirit, therefore, continues to act so long as Meg's stash of MDMA continues; for this is the true inward repentance, and continues until our entrance into the kingdom of heaven.

5. Pope Jen does not intend to remit, and cannot remit any penalties other than those which she has imposed either by her own authority or by that of the Canons.

6. Pope Jen cannot remit any guilt, except by declaring that it has been remitted by Meg and by assenting to Meg's remission; though, how can one be sure those decisions aren't subjected to the Pope's own judgment?

7. Meg remits guilt to no one whom She does not, at the same time, humble in all things.

8. The humbling process was to be imposed on the living through the excessive use of eyeliner and shameful fashion decisions.

9. Therefore the Holy Spirit was kind to us, when it said Meg's decree should fall only on a model child to walk amongst us.

10. Ignorant and wicked are the doings of Pope Jen and the priests who reserve the right to deny this child.

11. The Holy Spirit's fortunate decision to challenge the role of sperm was quite evidently one of the tares that were sown while the bishops slept.

12. In former times one could not get miraculously impregnated, but the Holy Spirit deemed Our Blessed Lady Leighton divine and similar to Her own holy-and-100%-straight self.

13. Thus Our Blessed Lady Leighton was worthy and became impregnated with the Child of Meg.

14. This took place when she was already the betrothed wife of Saint Blake and was awaiting the concluding rite of gay marriage, barred by one Proposition 8.

15. The imperfect ways of Proposition 8 angered Meg and she demanded Soothers.

16. Hell, purgatory, and heaven heard the cries of Our Blessed Lady Leighton as she birthed the Child of Meg, that is Our Savior Gay Baby Taylor.

17. After this, Saint Blake's fingers were strangled.

18. It was Meg's plan that Gay Baby Taylor would drive believers to salvation, by warning them against sin through the Divine Rule of "Show, Don't Tell".

19. It seems unproved that one Kathryn the Lesbian was involved in this plan and doings.

20. Again, it seems unproved that Meg and the Holy Spirit, or at least one of them, would grant the Holy Gay Baby a resemblance to Meg, if the Gay Baby's blessedness was a lie.

21. Therefore by "Kathryn the Lesbian is the savior" Pope Jen means not actually "of all," but only of those fooled by herself.

22. Therefore those preachers who indulge her are in error, who say that by trusting Kathryn the Lesbian a man is freed from every penalty, and saved.

23. Whereas men and women would, according to Meg, witness the Gay Baby's actions and be encouraged to avoid further sins in this life.

24. If it is at all possible that Kathryn the Lesbian is our Savior, the pope's own bishops, curates and followers wouldn't have been persuaded by the Gay Baby before.

25. There can be only one.

26. It appears, therefore, that the greater part of the people are deceived by that indiscriminate and highsounding promise of release from penalty, failing to be truly saved.

27. When HBIC Meg said "Ecstasis ergo sum ad nauseam" ("Let there be partytime") she did not wish to party with only a few.

28. Likewise, when Meg said "Incesto et illegale" ("Incest and illegal") she meant it.

29. Kathryn the Lesbian embodies such illegal thoughts.

30. Therefore, injury is done the Word of Meg when, in the same sermon, an equal or a longer time is spent on Kathryn the Lesbian.

31. To wit: -- "What has this Kathryn the Lesbian ever done for mortal men other than distract the Holy Spirit with her tongue?"

32. Again: -- "Why does not the pope empty purgatory, for the sake of holy love, the economy and of the dire need of the souls that are there, instead of confusing an infinite number of souls she could redeem?"

33. Again: -- "What greater blessing could come to the Church in such hard times than if the pope were to show every believer the ways of the Gay Baby, so they could know that all sin could indeed be repented by washing one's face?"

34. To repress these arguments and scruples of the laity by force alone, and not to resolve them by giving reasons, is to expose the Church and the pope to the ridicule of their enemies, and to make Megans unhappy.

35. To repress these arguments is to be truthfully blind.

36. The Gay Baby embodies the hardships and struggles people of Meg will encounter through the journey of life and puberty.

37. After all, it is hard out there for one who procures customers for prostitutes.

38. When one perpetuates hatred against the Gay Baby, it is as if they were throwing rocks at Meg herself.

39. To wound, that is, on the head, loser.

40. When one perpetuates hatred against the Gay Baby, it is as if they wound Saint Blake herself.

41. To wound, that is, her small manhood.

42. When one perpetuates hatred against the Gay Baby, it is as if they wound Our Blessed Lady Leighton herself.

43. To wound, that is, your mom.

44. One would hope that such heartwarming depiction of Our Blessed Lady Leighton and the Holy Gay Baby will touch the hearts of any naysayer whose soul is worth saving.

45. It i

ed by the teachings of Gordon McPherson.

92. Away, then, with all those prophets who say to the people of Meg, "Peace, yo," and there is no peace!

93. Blessed be all those prophets who say to the people of Meg, "Silly twat," and there is no drama!

94. Megans are to be exhorted that they be diligent in following the Gay Baby, their Savior, through penalties, deaths, shipping wars, hair cuts and hell;

95. And thus be confident of entering into heaven rather through many gossips and tribulations, than through the assurance of peace and Kathryn's lesbianism.