Hello ( Read more... )

I can't listen to Tool and not think about Jamie. In one of my favourite Tool songs; Wings For Marie, Pt. 1; Maynard says, "What have I done to be worthy?" And I remember feeling that way about Jamie, even though I knew he wasn't really what I wanted ( Read more... )

I'm very happy with myself.

I think about bees and drowning a lot. And I find a lot of inspiration from art lately: James Jean, Sibylle Peretti, Stella Im Hultberg. Art that looks like it was made in winter, frozen, dipped in milk.

All of my bruises from last week are gone. I'll have more bruises in about three weeks, though.

I don't know what to say. I have been swept up. Entirely against my will, but entirely willingly. It's scary and addictive.

I cannot compress and form into words what my mind and body are telling me. Not yet, at least.

I'm sorry, this was meant to be much more beautiful than it came out to be. I assure you, it is beautiful.

I am so confused by people these days.

It's so odd to be out in the 'real world' now. I feel more than I've felt in awhile, I see more than I've seen in awhile, but I'm still getting used to the idea of living for myself again.

I feel like everyone deserves something from me and I don't know why. Maybe because I really sort of snubbed my friends ( Read more... )

I'm starting to worry that my full sexuality may never come back. Maybe I still have some grieving to do before it will.

Like I said, it's worrysome.