POST #419
Last night I dreamt about Brad for the first time in... years. This is odd, but such a nice escape from dreaming about Cris that I don't even mind it.
Speaking of Cris, about two weeks ago I made the connection that maybe talking to him was bad for my psyche. And now it's been about that long since he and I have talked in any form except maybe a few lines of dialogue. I hate to say this, but I haven't been this happy - maybe I should say 'undisturbed' - in my unconscious for, just, months and months on end. Cris and I kinda made up as friends back in mid-March and...
Hm, I didn't even think that Cris's influence, i.e., his pro-BDSM/anti-vanilla platform, might have had something to do with my restlessness and subsequent stupid situation back in March... [cheating]. Hm.
Anyway, yeah, back in March, we started talking again. I contacted him under the illusion that speaking to him again might make me feel better about how fucked over I felt in regards to my relationship with him.
I mean, I hate to say this... But maybe he was just bad for me. And maybe he is now too. As nice a guy as he is, he's done nothing for me emotionally.
Anyway, I'm happy. Well, mostly. David and I still fight a lot. But I'm a fighter, much to my dismay. All in all, things are good, though. The 21st of October makes 13 months that he and I have been together. That's pretty exciting. Since Jamie and I were only together for 21 months and 8 months of that was sketchy too, 'cos he was in jail, one might say that, in some technical way, David's been my longest consistent relationship.
I can't say I mind.
In other news, I've been super stressed out (sort of in a good way?) about Jan term and Spring semester and applying to four-year colleges and shit. It's been this crazy random fire under my ass. It's especially confusing and motivating because two of my 200-level Psych teachers have come out and said that, in order to practice in Maryland, it is more practical to get an LCSW than an LCPC. Not to mention, UMBC offers a dual major program in Social Work and Psychology which sounds pretty much perfect for that reason. And, if I go on to Widener, that'd be I'd have a double major in Psychology and Social work, a Masters of Education, and a Psy.D. in Human Sexuality. That sounds pretty fucking qualified to me.
So, it's two in the morning. I should at least shut my eyes.
Speaking of Cris, about two weeks ago I made the connection that maybe talking to him was bad for my psyche. And now it's been about that long since he and I have talked in any form except maybe a few lines of dialogue. I hate to say this, but I haven't been this happy - maybe I should say 'undisturbed' - in my unconscious for, just, months and months on end. Cris and I kinda made up as friends back in mid-March and...
Hm, I didn't even think that Cris's influence, i.e., his pro-BDSM/anti-vanilla platform, might have had something to do with my restlessness and subsequent stupid situation back in March... [cheating]. Hm.
Anyway, yeah, back in March, we started talking again. I contacted him under the illusion that speaking to him again might make me feel better about how fucked over I felt in regards to my relationship with him.
I mean, I hate to say this... But maybe he was just bad for me. And maybe he is now too. As nice a guy as he is, he's done nothing for me emotionally.
Anyway, I'm happy. Well, mostly. David and I still fight a lot. But I'm a fighter, much to my dismay. All in all, things are good, though. The 21st of October makes 13 months that he and I have been together. That's pretty exciting. Since Jamie and I were only together for 21 months and 8 months of that was sketchy too, 'cos he was in jail, one might say that, in some technical way, David's been my longest consistent relationship.
I can't say I mind.
In other news, I've been super stressed out (sort of in a good way?) about Jan term and Spring semester and applying to four-year colleges and shit. It's been this crazy random fire under my ass. It's especially confusing and motivating because two of my 200-level Psych teachers have come out and said that, in order to practice in Maryland, it is more practical to get an LCSW than an LCPC. Not to mention, UMBC offers a dual major program in Social Work and Psychology which sounds pretty much perfect for that reason. And, if I go on to Widener, that'd be I'd have a double major in Psychology and Social work, a Masters of Education, and a Psy.D. in Human Sexuality. That sounds pretty fucking qualified to me.
So, it's two in the morning. I should at least shut my eyes.